BoyhoodSexAbuseActivist

Continued from above: Trust me when I tell you there was nothing sexy or exciting about any of the events I mentioned above. Because of the first perpetrator I cannot comfortably withstand any kind of public talk or discussion about sex, and I do not suck dick. Because of the 2nd husband, I developed eating disorders, and loss of self-confidence. Because of the 'rich kids' I was shamed about who I was and where I came from. Finally, because of the Scoutmaster, I suffered the same issues that were described by ruralguy7326 above: This is one man's story, but it is the story of over 25 million men in the USA today. It doesn't matter if you were sexually assaulted one time or for 10 years, the net result when you are triggered back to the trauma due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), is that you are suddenly being 6 or 9 or 12 or 14 yo, and you have no idea that it is happening, how it is happening, nor why it is happening. You only know that you have failed once again at being an adult. Let me last say that above you saw examples of 4 different types of abuse. Two were sexual abuse, and two were not. Sexual abuse is particularly heinous because sexuality is such a core component of who we are as human beings, that when it is disrupted or damaged, then the person is almost always irreparably damaged. Other types of abuse CAN be as traumatic, but it truly depends on who is effected and how. If this is you, start at: www.malesurvivor.org

I wasn't going to go there. But I believe what I will write here will continue the discussion and help educate those who participate in this site. I think another thing that we need to be aware of is: what occurred for one person as a satisfying sexual experience at age 12, may have occurred as a rape to another person at age 12. My father abandoned our family when I was 6 years old, and started a new family. For 2 years, I was shipped 1020 miles back and forth between my mother and my father like an unwanted elderly aunt, because I was a difficult child, who was hard to communicate with partially due to a genius IQ, and partially due to the onset of abandonment issues. Until the end of the summer in which I turned 8, when my father drove me back to my mother's house, and told her this was the last time, because it was him (referring to me) or his new marriage. I don't know the official statistics for boys who are children of single mother homes, and more particularly the only male in a single mother's home. But it would not take much to convince me that over 90% of such boys were sexually abused at some point in their childhood, simply because there was no one who realized that the Child Molesters are more focused on their goal than the mother who is working, going to school at night, and constantly battling with the school district over the education of her extremely bright children. I was sexually molested and stalked from age 8 to age 10 by my early-20's next door neighbor (who had been perpetrating for about 5 years that, I know of, before we moved into the neighborhood and was finally caught and sent to jail when I was 10). I was physically and emotional abused from age 10 to age 12 by my mother's second husband. From age 12 to age 14, I was subjected to the cruelties of the 'rich kids' when I was the only student on scholarship in my class at a private school. The summer I turned 14, I had a 'nervous breakdown' and attempted suicide because I could not deal with the trauma and pain any more. After I survived the suicide attempt, my mother turned to the only man she thought she could trust with her precious son, his Scoutmaster of the previous 2 years. The last week of the summer, the Scoutmaster raped me in his home. As I have looked back on these events, all now 30+ years distant, I can't fathom how I, a mere child, was able to survive the constant incessant: 1) disrespect for me as a person and a human being; 2) violations of trust by almost every adult who should protected me and yet failed to; and 3) lack of a sense of home or safety, because I never was safe from the stalker, the 2nd husband, nor the cruel cat-calls, even in my own house. To be continued...

I am glad to see this discussion here. A member of MS pointed out that this was here, so I came to comment. It is a misconception that a child can consent to anything. However, when does a child become someone who is capable of consenting is a question that governments all over the world have different answers for. Enough said. No matter how much a boy/young man thinks he consented or enjoyed it, the experience of having an older person (male OR female) initiate sex or allow the boy to initiate sex can still have repercussions that won't be known until the boy is an adult trying to function in an adult world, and interact and have relationships with other adults. If any of this rings true for you, there is help. Not a lot of it, but there is help. One place to start is MaleSurvivor: www.malesurvivor.org This has nothing to do with who you are as a sexual being, so go forth and bareback or not as you please. It has to do with who and how you are being in various situations, including sexual ones, in your life. Have hope, have healing and have fun.