hey man
I'm an HIV tester and can give you what I tell folks who I meet with in your situation.
1. as said before - It's ok to be freaked out. This can be big stuff for some of us. That said, there's lots of dudes doing just fine and if you were to end up poz from this situation, you will likely be fine too. Talking with the friends you know who are already poz about the ins and outs is something not a lot of neg dudes do when engaged in the BB scene (from MY experience only, I'm speaking) but I'm sure your poz friends and even fuckbuddies would gladly talk about it with you.
2. it is a waiting game at this point. and as was stated earlier too - there is a test that can tell you between 5-8 weeks after initial infection. it's called the p-24 Antigen test. I know that they make a rapid test that does both but I don't know if it's available in all states but you can ask your clinic. The regular p-24 antigen test is otherwise a blood-draw and 7-10 days for results.
3. It will otherwise take between 5 weeks and 3 months to get a positive test with a standard antibody test. some folks will show as early as 5 weeks - and with the Insti rapid test we use in canada it detects earlier than the cheek swab but EVERYONE will have an accurate test (given the statistical limitations around accuracy per specific tests - also why we do a confirmatory test with a second method) within 3 months (unless you have another immunocompromising condition - like you just had an organ transplant, something serious)
4. Exposure doesn't equal transmission - this is the big thing that freaks folks out - I know that sometimes once is all it takes and it's awesome that you're aware that the initial stage after infection is the highest likelihood to transmit, cuz it sounds like you are interested in staying neg and have some good knowledge about risk.* However, one exposure doesn't mean automatic transmission. If you guys were fucking every day or every week, using T and/or just marathoning it, not keeping things lubed, getting fisted and then fucked, rigorous douching before, those are all things that CONTRIBUTE to the likelihood swinging a bit higher but again DO NOT equal transmission. And if you don't have those other factors at play then that's also sliding the likelihood down, while still within the High Risk category.
I hope this is useful. if you have any more questions or feel like this wasn't addressing the concern you're naming, feel free to post again or PM.
*Also: I know that this doesn't work for everyone but i work with some dudes who try to only sleep with poz guys who are on ARVs (and have a suppressed Viral Load) and talk to their partners/fuckbuds/tricks(HA, not likely) about regular STI testing (as the most common symptoms are to be asymptomatic, and having another STI can increase likelihood to get or pass on HIV)
hey man I'm an HIV tester and can give you what I tell folks who I meet with in your situation. 1. as said before - It's ok to be freaked out. This can be big stuff for some of us. That said, there's lots of dudes doing just fine and if you were to end up poz from this situation, you will likely be fine too. Talking with the friends you know who are already poz about the ins and outs is something not a lot of neg dudes do when engaged in the BB scene (from MY experience only, I'm speaking) but I'm sure your poz friends and even fuckbuddies would gladly talk about it with you. 2. it is a waiting game at this point. and as was stated earlier too - there is a test that can tell you between 5-8 weeks after initial infection. it's called the p-24 Antigen test. I know that they make a rapid test that does both but I don't know if it's available in all states but you can ask your clinic. The regular p-24 antigen test is otherwise a blood-draw and 7-10 days for results. 3. It will otherwise take between 5 weeks and 3 months to get a positive test with a standard antibody test. some folks will show as early as 5 weeks - and with the Insti rapid test we use in canada it detects earlier than the cheek swab but EVERYONE will have an accurate test (given the statistical limitations around accuracy per specific tests - also why we do a confirmatory test with a second method) within 3 months (unless you have another immunocompromising condition - like you just had an organ transplant, something serious) 4. Exposure doesn't equal transmission - this is the big thing that freaks folks out - I know that sometimes once is all it takes and it's awesome that you're aware that the initial stage after infection is the highest likelihood to transmit, cuz it sounds like you are interested in staying neg and have some good knowledge about risk.* However, one exposure doesn't mean automatic transmission. If you guys were fucking every day or every week, using T and/or just marathoning it, not keeping things lubed, getting fisted and then fucked, rigorous douching before, those are all things that CONTRIBUTE to the likelihood swinging a bit higher but again DO NOT equal transmission. And if you don't have those other factors at play then that's also sliding the likelihood down, while still within the High Risk category. I hope this is useful. if you have any more questions or feel like this wasn't addressing the concern you're naming, feel free to post again or PM. *Also: I know that this doesn't work for everyone but i work with some dudes who try to only sleep with poz guys who are on ARVs (and have a suppressed Viral Load) and talk to their partners/fuckbuds/tricks(HA, not likely) about regular STI testing (as the most common symptoms are to be asymptomatic, and having another STI can increase likelihood to get or pass on HIV)