Hi guys, I'm new here. From Brazil, 32 y/o.
So, yes, I stop taking anti-retroviral medication for a month now and wish to talk about a bit. It can a bit depressing, so maybe you should probably skip this.
I was diagnosed about 5 or 6 years ago. Before this decision of stopping taking my meds, I was undetectable. I'm healthy, currently.
I stopped working when my boss out me in a meeting that I wasn't there, about 4 years ago, and since that I never worked again. I return to my parents house and spend a whole amount of time meditating and living in meditations centers, begin messing with art, but this didn't evolve much or I lost interest, my last job was 1 month living and working for a elder as a care person. So, Corona. Back to my parents house.
I'm not seeing a point to take the meds anymore. I'd wish to go live on the streets and stop caring too much about comfort or anything, and just spend my last years being a homeless man and travelling and being on my own.
Being here is ok I guess. I'm on the computer all day, watching all the human culture, don't have social networks or friends anymore. I sometimes think being too cozy can get you in a special state of mind that you just don't care anymore.
I'm not really depressed. I wish everyone well. I just know that all is so pointless (for me) but I'm wishing good vibes to all. I'm just tired that's it. Tired of taking the meds and the exams and the current amount of this and that and fear of death. I'm not having fear no more. Let death kiss me if she wants me. So, if anyone read till here, I wish to ask a few questions:
- Have you ever being a homeless person? (I'm actually looking to become a hermetic and escape the city)
- How many years one person got without being in meds (how the AIDS things evolve? and is there a way to make the virus evolve fast?)
- Is it possible that a monastery could receive a guy like me to stay there just sweeping the floor and meditating and living my best solitary life?
thanks
