under3st

I prefer deep inside, and if any leaks out, push it back in. 🙂

1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

I guess this is where I would have to disagree - it’s not ok. It’s a shitty, dickish thing to do to somebody and there isn’t a good excuse for doing it. If the community keeps tolerating it as “just a part of it” then it will keep happening, but there’s nothing that says it has to be that way. The main obstacle to reform is the fact that flakers seldom experience any consequence for having behaved badly.

I meant, it ok that I’ll never understand why people do it.  I’m not that type of person, so I’ll just have to be ok not understanding their reasoning or behaviors, regardless if they feel it’s justified.  Flaking isn’t ok with me; I don’t do it and expect others to not flake either. I get it life and situation happens, but some people lead on and never have anything intention in meeting. 
 

12 hours ago, ErosWired said:

This night in Nashville, one of the guys who showed an interest but ultimately didn’t opt in was concerned about his health, but not because of COVID. It was because I had indicated that I had four loads already in me. He said that was “scary” and that he “didn’t want to catch something.” I thought, but didn’t say, that it was kind of ironic that he was fretting about STDs while out trolling for random hookups in the middle of a pandemic. Clearly, that wasn’t what was deterring him.

Except some of us aren’t playing games, and as long as we continue to tolerate this shitty behavior as though it were somehow acceptable, it’s going to continue.
 

The more I’ve thought about all this, the more I’m inclined to give up hotel hosting altogether. For the amount of concentrated effort I put into it (never mind the expense) to reach as few men in service as I actually do, it’s just not cost-effective. On that night in Nashville, my Grindr profile alone got more than 300 views in the space of 12 hours, and I ended up servicing 5 men. So on a Friday night, only 1.6% of men thinking about a hookup went for what was the equivalent of low-hanging ripe fruit on the tree. It’s possible that I’ve been wrong all along in thinking that men actually want to fuck - it may be that in fact, most of them actually don’t. It may be that most men are simply looking for titillation rather than action, and that’s not what all those Doms trained me to provide. If so, that makes me sad because it means that anon hotel hosting is never going to be an efficient way of connecting with men who actually want service, and aside from the bathhouse, I don’t know of any other options.

Totally understood. I said “game” in quotes because we’re using an app, phone, etc. to engage and not the physical, in-person connection.  We’re playing in these app’s sandboxes, so until there is a better way to weed out flakes, we either continue to play with that risk or find someone else’s sandbox. 
 

And while I’ll never truly understand why people flake, it’s ok and I think it’s just part of being in such a large, easy to chat/access community.  Not saying I support the behavior, but in today’s world, there is an excuse for everything it seems. 

San Marcos here. 

I don’t understand it either, but I guess it’s all part of the “game” we play in. 
 

I’ve had several basically state “On my way!” to never be heard from again.  Some even make it all the way to my hotel to just say they can’t get in, or they went to the wrong room, or some other lame excuse, even though the came all they way.  Maybe they chickened out, or maybe they had second thoughts? I’ll never know. 
 

There is one guy that lives close to me...we had set up several times to meet, but our schedules always conflicted.  We finally had an opportunity and he gave me his home address.  He never answered the door or responded to my messages.  After waiting 15 mins, he then proceeded to tell me he got a work call. Fine, but you can text and talk, right?  Either way, gave him the benefit of the doubt. 
 

A week later, we’re able to meet and tells me he’s done with work for the day. I head over. As soon as I get there, no response. I get a response the next morning, “sorry, I fell asleep.”

Done. 🙂

Yes, very much so. It also kind of made me realize that I wasn’t the only one who had similar interests, questions, wants, desires, and more. As I mentioned in my intro, I was a long time lurker; many, many years. 
 

Reading the topics, stories, encounters, etc. really gets me going and makes me want to crave a little more sometimes.  It’s hard for me to not get even more horny when on here...

I do, although it typically doesn’t involve “cleaning”.  When I’m bottoming, I’m insanely paranoid and make sure I’m fully clean.  I try to have a high fiber diet, but if I know I’m meeting for a hook up, I’m not eating prior.  I’ve even taken Imodium to help stop the process. 
 

But typically, when this situation occurs, it’s typically mid-fuck. Occasionally it’s after, but I’ve noticed that many tops are too sensitive for anything more than a quick suck. 

I’m new here, but long time lurker...for more years than I’d like to admit!  Bi, married, living in northern San Diego. 
 

The stories, discussions, and topics here have always intrigued me and gave me some good reading material. Not sure why I decided to register today, but I did.