I was fifteen. I had just started talking to a guy I met in high school who was gay and he ended up introducing me to one of his “friends” named John. John was a nurse in his thirties. We talked for quite a bit before he suggested meeting up signed up to volunteer at Shiloh nursery one weekend when they were hosting Halloween pumpkin patch event and he showed up. We hit it off and later that night he texted me around 11pm and asked if I wanted to hang out. I ended up sneaking out of the house (through my bedroom window) and he picked me up at the end of the block. On the drive to his place I was nervous as fuck as I hadn’t done anything previously and we didn’t say anything but during the drive he put his hand on my thigh and starting rubbing in between shifting (he had a six speed Honda Civic) and eventually started groping/massaging my junk.
When we got to his apartment I followed him inside and he had a porno on and he sat on the sofa and patted the spot where he wanted me to sit. I sat down and we sat in silence watching the porn and after about ten minutes he started feeling me up and I was too nervous to do anything but my body was very much reacting. He took my hand and placed it under his scrubs so it was resting on his dick. I instinctively started to fondle/jerk him and after a few minutes he took his arm and placed it around my neck and pushed me between his knees. He lifted himself up and pulled his scrubs down and without having to be prodded I sucked my first dick. I’ll never forget his scent of that sensation. He didn’t give me much time to learn the ropes until he took control of the situation and it went from a blow job to a face fucking situation (I didn’t mind). While this was happening he took his foot and occasionally rubbed my dick which sent me right to the edge. After about half an hour of me sucking him he pulled my head up by my hair out of his crotch and literally dick walked me down the hallway to his room (literally grabbed my dick and walked me down the hallway) to his spare room and I remember thinking that was so odd.
When we got to the spare room he told me to strip so I did. He sat on the edge of the bed and I gave him a blowjob for a few more minutes until he got up and kind of tossed me halfway on the bed so my butt was at the edge and my legs were dangling to the floor. He lubed up his finger and penetrated me. I was not a fan of this (still can’t stand being fingered to this day). He got two fingers in and I was in a fair amount of discomfort but I was so turned out that I asked him to fuck me. I heard him wrap up and he pushed me into the bed and he lubed up his sheathed dick and rubbed it up and down my ass crack. Then he pushed in, not just the tip but he practically bottomed out in me. Needless to say it was excruciating. I asked him to stop and any arousal I had vanished. He didn’t say anything but he put his arm against the back of my head and pushed it deeper into the bed and he just went to town on my ass. I kept saying no and I was tearing up and I struggled to get up but he forced me down. I kept telling him no, I didn’t want this and he slapped my ass and didn’t say anything. At that point I just stopped resisting. At some point he flipped me over and I remember so vividly just staring at the ceiling and counting all the bumps (it was a stucco ceiling). When he was close he pulled out, kneeled over me and jerked off until he gave me a pretty thorough facial. He went to the bathroom, came back to the room, motioned to my clothes and told me to get dressed and I did. I wanted to go to the bathroom to clean my face off but he said no and used his fingers to swipe his cum off my face and fed it to me.
The ride home was identical to the ride to his place where nothing was said between us.
I have mixed feelings about this encounter but he really played a pivotal role in how my sexual identity developed. He was my first and I had a deep longing for him, and honestly, still do. For the next three years whenever he needed to get off he’d text me and arrange a time to pick me up. When I got my drivers license he’d have me come over after school. We rarely talked, it wasn’t that kind of “relationship.” I knew what I was to him. John said he was a total top, he didn’t suck dick and he didn’t bottom. He never made any attempt to get me off and never touched my dick outside of that first night.
