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spike-the-cat

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Posts posted by spike-the-cat

  1. All relationships are hard--open or closed. Humans are not, on the whole, built for monogamy. But we are built to be jealous. Thus, either way there are going to be tensions. Negotiating it openly and setting rules you can both agree to (e.g., bigdick4u's "no sex with others in our bed" rule--and being open to renegotiation as necessary--is the only way to make it work.

    The best novel I've ever read showing a couple actually negotiating and living their open relationship and setting its boundaries on an ongoing basis over decades, is Samuel Delany's "Through the Valley of the Nest of Spiders." It also has such a wide variety of sexual perversions across its 800 pages that there's sure to be something to take everyone--including all the users here--outside their sexual comfort zone.

  2. User Bama_bareback_1973 posted this video over in "XTube link collection - breeding videos." Imentioned to him there that it should be here. The poz breeding talk on this video--starting 30 seconds in with a whispered "I'm going in without a rubber" and the blindfolded bottom's "Fuck yeah"--gets me hard faster than any video I've heard:

    http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=kBNVI-G563-

    Listen to it while it's still on Xtube. Many thanks to Bama_bareback_1973 for finding it in the first place.

    • Upvote 1
  3. Nah. I came out back before guys used condoms in porn (except Christopher Rage's videos, where they were used for everything but fucking). It was just sex. For a while in the late 1980s and mid 1990s I was (mostly) safe as friends and a lover got sick and died.

    Then I got HIV in 1994 and decided "what the fuck" and went back to bareback all the time. A few years later I performed in one of the early bareback movies shot for HDK. It was a kick, but I learned I'm not really cut out for porn. It takes me forever to cum--great for most bottoms, but the cameraman's arm gets tired.

    So barebacking led me to bareback porn--not the other way around.

    But still, the aesthetic of so much contemporary bareback porn grows out of stuff done in the 1980s--Joe Gage's "Closed Set" and the crazy hot stuff Christopher Rage was doing in New York. Yeah, the editing is faster and slicker now, and the cameras better, but the Rage stuff can still tap into some dark primal stuff for me that even Treasure Island rarely gets close to.

  4. curiousboy: I haven't seen the assembled Ryan Sullivan's Island--though I have watched many of the clips that went into it on the blog and website. My reaction is 180 degrees from yours. To me it shows a young man slowly making sense of the world after the fucked up family life that had driven his brother away and had done its best to burden both boys with shame about who they were and what they wanted. I found the clips about the brothers' interactions both heartbreaking and touching. Both brothers carry a lot of baggage from their upbringing, and this seems to be Ryan's attempt to shed some of his.

    The "Rhetoric of Sex" episode on the Sullivan's Island site makes it very clear why Ryan would be interested in working there, as do Ryan's entries exploring the differences in the ways he and Paul shoot still photos. Ryan comes across as an intuitive photographer/filmmaker drawn to someone who has a very clear articulated philosophy on how and why he shoots what and how he does. If you can't see the fascination of that then you aren't looking very hard.

  5. I don't mind at all if I guy asks if I'm poz. And I'll be honest and say yes. I do get pissed off at the guys who ask instead "Are you clean?" If you can't talk frankly about the sex you're having--if you have to use stupid vague euphemisms--then you shouldn't be doing it.

    I'm tempted to lie to guys who ask "Are you clean?" (or pretend I don't know what it is that they're too chickenshit to say directly--Hey, I took a shower today). But I don't. The closest I've come is to simply leave the room without answering the question.

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