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DISCLOSURE - Loosely based upon the stories of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Ninja Turtles, Spiderman, Frankenstein, A vampire, scientific journals, etc. DEFINITIONS: MO'NSTER. n.s. [monstre, Fr. monstrum, Latin.] 1. Something out of the common order of nature. 2. Something horrible for deformity, wickedness, or mischief. MO'NSTROUS. adj. [monstrueux, Fr. monstrosus, Latin.] 1. Deviating from the stated order of nature. 2. Strange; wonderful. Generally with some degree of dislike. I WRITE THESE WORDS FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS TO COME I wish to record my experience as I finalize my experiment in this world. The experiment is simple. To subject myself with the HIV virus. Otherwise known as receiving the gift and being "gifted." To become positive or simply, POZ. This is monstrous proposal on my part. I want to record first hand the changes, for good or bad, that will transform and convert me. As a scientific mind, I can better relate and record my changes as it relates to mortal man. DAY 1 SUBJECT: Myself. I found a willing donor for my experiment. He had been poz for years and was willing to subject me to the same. He was blessed in size and shape. A perfect specimen. We both undressed and immediately coupled. It was an all-day affair. He pumped his poz load into my ass. He was as much into it as was I. There is something to be said for getting naked and raw. To bareback without hesitation. I loved being seeded and bred! It was all good and natural on our part. Needless to say, he, my donor, deposited several tainted poz loads into my virgin negative ass. The experiment was a complete success! DAY 1 - 24 hours later I still have his 'special seed' swimming inside my gut this second day. I slept with his loving load inside me. I woke up in the middle of the night because I was sweating around my torso area and my groin. I also felt some prickling around my right groin and right under arm area. I don't know if that's suppose to happen like that, but I assume something must be going on. I can't wait to convert and feel the fuck flu over-take me. I periodically check my ass hole to make sure and I must say I have a tight clamp on my buried treasure inside. I was able to pry my hole open and stuck my finger into my fuck hole and felt around. I could feel a lot of cum inside my love chamber. It was nice and slick inside. The inner walls are just coated with his special hot cum. I get damn hard thinking about what's happening to me. My demise is assured. My ass is drenched with a creamy hot load of slick poz cum clinging to my ass walls. I feel it coursing throughout my body. The tainted poz sperms are swimming inside my gut and drilling into my walls releasing there special DNA into my blood stream. My DNA is transforming step by step. Each minute that goes by I am brought closer and closer to be converted. The poz seed is flourishing and growing inside me now. Otherwise I find the day as normal as any other day. The only thing I notice is that I'm so damn horny. I take a half-day off to hook up with a guy who is into rimming - big time. I tell him that I have a huge load in my ass and he begs me to let him rim out my cum laden ass hole. I comply and just let him lick and lap out the special seed that is lightly oozing out of my hole. Soon enough his face was coated with a glaze of clear slime: my ass juices and doubtless some of the tainted seed. The expression on his face was shear delight! I flipped around and shot my load down his throat. My energy level is twice normal. I feel like a super human. I slept very well! Day 2 I had the morning diarrhea. I felt a slight headache in the morning. I drank some juice. My appetite has diminished and I feel slightly cold on this warm spring day. I throw on a short sleeve shirt and think nothing of it and go about my business as usual. DAY 5 My body was already fighting a virus. Alerts were going off in my body! "Red alert! Alert! Disease has broken out, a nasty virus intruder" An Evil virulent disease, so shocking has entered my body, I can hardly bring myself to describe it - A disease was overtaking me and multiplying. At this time, sub microscopically, at the core of each of my cells was being over run and taken over. They were replicating at a maddening rate and accelerating in the virgin territory of my body. There was no way of stopping it at this point. I seem to have a daily mild headache in the morning and slight sore throat. I shrug off the notion that it's related to my new found transformation since I have been reading and working by day and sucking cock by night. My ass is perpetually filled and basking in the warmth of hot creamy loads deposited by anonymous donors that take pleasure in dumping their loads deep into my gut via my ass hole. More life is being seen in my mind and eyes. I am more alive knowing that my passion of self infliction is finally a reality. At this stage, I feel out of control. I am more horny than ever and desire the completion of my grand scheme. I had given up the notion of sleep. I am in a middle semi sleep with dreams of dark pleasurable men ravaging my body. Initially, The experiment was in the fore front of my mind. And, I wanted to follow it through. To do a proper scientific thesis of the stages of HIV infection for the betterment of humanity. However, I find myself taking liberty to venture out in search of more addictive doses of pozzing. I wanted more of the same that was given too me a couple days ago. I am a wild man with a deep desire for hot sex. No thoughts of future risk other than the present. As far as science goes, damn it! My passion is taking over. It is hard to focus on my work. All I could think of is dick. Hot... Cocks and laden balls that held pure creamy thick tainted wonderful viral loads. I day dream of all the men wanting to breed me and seed their hot demon seed into me. And, by night I follow through with the gratification of anyone I meet and willingly use me for their pleasurable purposes. I too am driven by the desire to have much raw barebacking sex as possible. Even though the common thought is to warn of such practices. In out society, it is taboo. A sin to have unprotected sex. But my inner desire has overtaken my logical thinking. I am likened to a dog in heat. And, at this point of my young life I am finally living it up! WEEK 3 Like so many other days beforehand. I didn't give thought to the sexual rampage I had three weeks before and hot uncontrolled sex with anonymous guys every other day. It was quite evident that it was becoming a new lifestyle for me. I was flirting with guys online on a daily basis. I would make hook ups without a thought to the consequences of my action. However, this day I noticed something different. I had this annoying flu-like symptom. You know; the usual fever, headache, tiredness, nausea, and dear I say diarrhea? My lymph nodes in the neck, armpits and groin were tender and swollen. It could only mean one thing.... I knew that during this period, the quantity of the virus in my body was high and it was spreading to different area, particularly my lymphoid tissues. I also knew at this stage, I was more likely to pass on the infection to others. What was once gifted to me was now a calling to others. My inner body was tuning and reverberating to orchestrate a fight against the assault of the virus. As much as it was self inflicting, and that I knew it from the start, I was reacting with open arms to my “new” life experience. But, I knew I had to suffer the ordeal as a way into the initiation into the brotherhood... My judgment was clouded and I gave up my logical thinking to a loosing battle. I must admit there was moments of regrets as I lay in bed helpless at times covered in sweat and enduring the heavy fever that waned with periodic chills. My sleeps were restless at nights…or days. I lost track of time. When I splashed water on my face and looked in the mirror I was amazed at the haggard look that stared back. I was practically crawling to and from my bed and bathroom. I ventured to the other parts of my sanctuary to look at the fleeting days enshrouded my many dark night falls. I feel like I was part of the darkness and the twilight. I felt very secure during these hours of my birth; the renewal of another monstrous being. You know, like the many horror stories about vampires, werewolves, ghouls, and hideous freakish things that thrive on the still of the night and their prey. This was my new inner identity that was surfacing. I was becoming a monster! Well, I knew in my inner dark thoughts that what laid in store for me. The future looked bleak to the normal living souls. But, I felt more alive and was pleased with the virus that was surging and rapidly multiplying within me. I was finally acting out my subconscious true self. I was going to live more than ever! I wish I could express the precious blessed moment that was presented to me to others. Who? Who would in there right mind would wish the curse? Evidently I welcomed it with the deepest desires for it. I laid my head in a delicious dream state for days. I mix my dates and days during this period. I lay in delicious agony for knowing that it will pass shortly. I know that I was transforming. I smiled at myself…the monster! Week 4, etc. Recovery after my ordeal was a rebirth for me. Not only was it spring outside but I knew that I transformed and converted to the so called "monster". I felt like a snake that shed his skin. Or, cicada that crawled out of the ground and left its carcass of a former shell clinging to a tree and then going out to mate. I knew without testing that I was HIV positive. But I marched down to the free clinic to verify it for a piece of mind. The search for the truth was confirmed with the draw of my blood. The test was came back positive. It was a slap of reality and yet a relieve. I have no one to blame but myself. Actually, I was grateful and thankful and that night when I found out I slept the best sleep I have ever had. The days that followed were amazing. I was truly a monster deep inside. And, no one knew by looking at me. I was the perfect camellia. I blended into the back ground. My camouflage was just a perfect ploy. I was that good looking all American guy by day and the wild beast at night. First, I went to back to my poz donor to get recharged. Days and days of taking poz tainted charged loads from him and his poz friends. I was introduced into a society of poz brothers in which we freely played without fear...swapping loads with one another. I was exploring a side of me that truly loved to bareback and take raw cock. The shrouded mystery of the taboo being careful so that you wouldn't be infected was now drawn back. I was totally absorbed into another world. Not only was I marked but I had such a great time fucking unsuspecting guys that wanted to explore bareback sex. There are many guys out there that are bi sexual married guys who love to bottom. I have no problem with hooking up with the young guys that love to suck cock or explore and bottom in the raw. Many times they ask me with their innocents; "Are you clean?" And, of course "I'm clean!" What a stupid question! It entices me even further to seed there stupid ass and bug them up. Hell, if they liked it the first time, they are usually contacting me days afterwards for more. I can't tell you how many times I've shot my tainted bug seed into guys that just take my word for it. There truly are gullible and naive guys out there that just don't get it. Well, if it's to my advantage, They will get it alright. They above all deserve the mark that I place upon them. The link between a monster and "normal" guy is the driving force. The quest perpetuating one's self into another seems to be such a primal urge. The fear of change is such appalling to many. I can attest that the change, though uncomfortable at first, was a hard ordeal for me. It was short lived though. I now have both a submissive and dominate side to me that equals out. Being in the so-called dark side of reality has given me more strength and power establishing a unique identity as a special person, otherwise known as the "Monster". 1 Month, Day Twelve The young punk met me after his college afternoon classes and was slobbered on my stiff hard dick. I chuckled as he made the comment "what a monster!" referring to my cock. He was so intuitive with his words. I pulled his head further to give urge him on down my shaft and give me a BJ. His thin smooth taunt body was amazing to look at. I sat on the couch as he bobbed up and down making sucking noises with his tender lips and lips that wrapped around my throbbing enormous cock. I reached for his young firm ass and fingered the moist unclean crack of his hole. He liked what I was doing to his ass and moves side ways so that I could do more of the same. He had a grip lock on my cock with his mouth. It was no use in prying him off. I swung my body down to lay flat on the couch and lifted his ass and legs to meet my face. I started tonguing his shit chute and this seem to really drive the guy man into a tizzy. He was a moaning whore that liked what I was doing to him. This went on for a good 10 minutes before I pushed the guy slightly forward to pick myself up. He looked at me with those puppy eyes and I just melted. He was dripping his pre cum on my carpet and his inner leg. I positioned behind him and rubbed my shaft against his ass crack. He had such a look on his face when he looked at me. I naturally leaned forward and kissed him. Our tongues were just darting into each others mouth like daggers. My cock head inched further into his ass hole and there it paused. He stopped kissing and broke off kissing and tried to tell me something. "Uh, I've never done this before" he said. I assured him that it was okay. I'll go easy and slow. We locked again into kissing and with my right hand I aimed my cock into his ass hole. I wanted to make sure there was some penetration. Would you believe that his hole just relaxed and was sucking my cock into his ass in increments of 1/2 inches. I was pausing to enter his virgin hole with my monster cock so he could get use to my presents inside his ass. I felt my cock go deeper into his furnace of his love chamber. I was pacing myself too because it felt to incredibly tight that I was afraid I would prematurely cum. We continued to kiss and my arms were around his waist and chest. I would twist his nipples which urged him to push further back onto my cock. He was definitely digging the new assault on his ass. We were rocking with my cock practically coming to the opening and then it would drill back inside him. We looked like some oil rig churning in the open prairie plains of Texas or Oklahoma. It didn't take long for me to empty my new stained poz load into his virgin ass. I don't think he was aware that I emptied a hot load of cum deep into his ass. His muscle ass was milking every sweet toxic drop of cum out of my death stick. I was so turned on and hard thereafter that I didn't express any wild crazy howls or moans. My younger tiger man was jacking himself. I was watching him stroking himself . Gliding his fist up and down his shaft. I was able to see him empty his spooge onto my nice clean cushions. When he did that, his tight ass just clinched my cock and made sure that there was nothing left inside my shaft. I slowly pulled out and he apologized that he came on my couch like that.No problem as I pulled out a towel from around the corner of the couch. He mopped up his own cum from the couch and himself. He asked where the bathroom was and I motioned to the around the corner. He was in there for a minute and came out with such a grin on his face he was so proud of himself. He said that he was sorry that I didn't get a chance to shoot my load. And that's when I said, "But I did. In your ass". He paused, saying "Really? And I nodded yes. "Oh..I didn't realize you came inside me. I guess that's okay..right? And again I nodded. He grabbed for his clothes and was dressing. "You will come back again, won't you? I asked. He cracked a sweet and melting smile and said "Yeah! Days are best for me depending on my class schedule." I said, "well, okay. No pressure. You are more than welcome to come back anytime. You have my number and email." The guy was so fucking hot. I couldn't believe my luck. MONTH 1, DAY 25 It was confirmed what had happened to me. It was self inflicting choice that I became infected. The test results confirmed that. I knew the consequences from the very beginning. I choose to keep on course and take it as far as I can without medication or help. My viral load continue to rise. I was being over taken by a parasite from within. It was altering my physical and mental state. actually, it wasn't that bad. The only differences is my nights are enhanced. When I sleep, It seems to be in a perpetual semi sleep/waking state at night. I can see dark shadow figures at night moving about. At first I thought I was seeing things or that my mind was playing weird. My sight was like a night scope. I could easily walk in the dead of night with out tripping and find what I was looking for without turning the lights on. Also, My hearing is attuned several decibels higher. I can hear things I've never heard before. The earth rumbles and I can feel the tremors. Everything seems to be accentuated at night. I was a creature of the night. Need I say, I also seem to continue to think of sex 24/7. There hasn't been a day, or should I say night, that has gone by that I'm engaged in some sort of scheme to hook up with guy(s) to have my regiment of cock and cum. I have also made contacts with the unknowing sorts and have more or less bred them. Overall, I was in a good place. But I needed to take it a step further. I continued to meet with my donor, The gifter. While engaged in a 'recharging' session, he gave me the bright idea of going to the big city. He told me of the wonders that I could behold there. Endless wild and crazy sex with hot boys and men. It was a fuck fest and it had to be experienced in one's life time. My mind was set. I was going to take a long weekend away and see for myself the sins of the city.
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