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I had recently gotten into barebacking with a hot guy who was a fuck buddy of mine. Up until then, I had used condoms my whole life to be safe. Once he and I stopped seeing each other (owing to a misunderstanding). I struggled with wanting to bareback to enjoy the natural feeling, and using condoms to be safe. At first I continued to use condoms with all the guys who I met, but the feeling wasn't the same at all, it was almost irritating to feel that piece of rubber between us, but caution prevailed, and I made an honest attempt to use them to protect myself. After a few months of unsatisfying fucks, I reluctantly decided that I might try to bareback, but only with neg guys. I had to really struggle with that one, because meeting guys for sex in bars, internet, etc, well, guys could naturally not be trusted to tell the truth. I made a decision that I would bareback with neg guys, but make them pull out before they came, and that I would require test results that I could see to be reasonably sure they were telling the truth. It was a risky solution still, because a guy could get tested, subsequently become HIV positive, and then I'd be at risk, but my hormones and body were struggling for control over my mind. It was a solution that I decided would be worth the risk. You know when you decide on something that you know isn't right, but talk yourself into it, because it's what you want? Well that's what I did. I met 2-3 guys this way, and it worked out pretty well. I'd see their test results and they'd fuck me bare, and pull out shooting onto my chest, but I still wasn't satisfied. I missed the intimacy, and feeling of having a man inside me ejaculating at the climax of the fuck, it felt incomplete. The last guy I met this way, we had arranged for him to pull out when he was close. When he got close to cumming while fucking me though, I was so turned on, that I grabbed his hips, when he told me he was about to cum, and starting to pull out, and pushed him back into me. He needed no further encouragement, and sank all the way back in, letting himself go inside me. Again, I could feel his dick spasming, and contracting as he came, and that wonderful feeling of warm semen flow into me. On some level, I knew I was hooked, and that nothing again would ever satisfy me. I continued to battle with that dilemma, and began to sometimes let guys cum in me, and sometimes pull out. I knew again on some level, I was playing a dangerous game, and eventually would be headed for trouble, but I just couldn't stop. A couple of months later, I went on vacation and began talking to a couple on the net who wanted to meet me while I was visiting. The couple had posted a message to a group, looking for guys to play with. They were both tops, and loved barebacking. One was poz, the other neg. After a few weeks of e-mails back and forth, we agreed to meet. Our deal was that the neg guy could fuck me bare, but the poz guy would have to use a condom. It wasn't the best situation, but both these guys were really hot, especially the poz one, and I couldn't resist, and felt reasonably safe. I met them, and saw the test results of the neg guy. He had been tested every 3 months for the past 3 years, and showed me all the results so I felt pretty sure he was telling the truth. He even showed me his ID, so I knew it was really him. I trusted them, because of that, and also because the poz guy had been honest about his status from the start. Everything seemed to be on the up and up. I was visiting for 10 days, and the first day we got together, and the neg guy fucked me first, bare, with the agreement that he pull out when he came. These guys were hot! The neg one was Italian, late 20's, rugged, athletic body, and very masculine, 7" cut dick. The poz guy was early 20's, Latin, smoothest skin you've ever seen, with a baby face to go nuts over, and an awesome 8" uncut piece of wonder between his legs. After a lot of making out and sucking, the neg guy started to ride my ass raw, fucking me for a good long time. He was really into it, pumping in and out, and fucking like a pro. I reminded him to pull out when he got close, and he said, "too late man, sorry". He had already cum. I wasn't really happy because he had agreed to pull out, but I was still sure he was neg, so I decided it was ok. He pulled out of me, and his boyfriend (the poz Latin guy), slid a condom over his dick (I watched), and slid right into my cum filled ass. His dick was bigger so he met with a little resistance when he first started to push in, but he held onto the base of his dick, and shoved, and in it went. It must have been all the lube from the first guy, or his cum already inside me, or the fact that this stud was so hot, but it didn't feel as bad with a condom as it usually did. Maybe his dick was bigger and that made up for it, I didn't know at the time, but it felt awesome. He fucked much faster than the first guy, and I thought I could even feel his uncut head sliding around inside the condom in my ass. This is great I thought, even with a condom I still like it. He fucked me until he blew into the condom in my ass. He pulled out, went to the bathroom, and came back, and he and his boyfriend both sucked me off until I blew my own load. The Latin guy had felt so good inside me with the condom, that I fantasized about how much better he would feel inside me, bare, but realized I couldn't do that, because he was poz, and I wanted to be safe. Over the next week I met with these two guys every day, each time was pretty much the same, the first neg guy would fuck me raw, and I let him cum inside me now, since he had the first time already, and then the Latin guy (poz) would fuck me with the rubber afterwards. I felt really lucky that I had met such cool guys, who were into barebacking, but also respected the whole neg/poz issues. After about 5 days, they suggested that before I leave, we do a gang bang, since I was really into getting fucked. They knew of two other couples, who were into fucking raw, who had been together for over 5 years each, and could show me neg test results. That would be six tops fucking me, and at that time, I had never done a gang bang, or been to a sex party, but I thought it would be hot, so I agreed. I was really looking forward to it, thinking of all that bare dick and cum. I didn't really worry too much because I trusted these guys a lot. I was kind of nervous, but my sex drive won out in the end. The next night I didn't meet with the original couple, because we had planned the gang bang for the night afterwards. That night I went to an internet cafe to check email and cruise on the web a bit. I was reading posts on the list where I had met the original couple, and saw a post from them to the group. They knew I didn't have a computer with me, so evidently they thought there was no worry of me reading the post. What they said was that they had met a guy from out of town, and had been fucking him all week and pozzing him. I was stunned. The neg guy was indeed really neg, but the poz guy had cut a slit in the end of the condoms he was using, causing them to leak or tear when he slid into me. I realized suddenly that was the reason the condoms hadn't been bothering me with the poz Latin guy. They were tearing at the end immediately as he pushed into me, so that he was really fucking me bare, just with a condom wrapped around at the base of his dick. I realized that I had never seen the condom after he fucked me, because he always went right to the bathroom, obviously to get rid of the evidence. I had taken 5 loads of poz cum from this guy over the past week, and never noticed his load inside me, because his boyfriends cum was already in me, so I wouldn't know. Again, I was stunned. I was also angry, scarred, and I have to admit in a twisted kind of way turned on. What I knew might eventually happen, had already happened. I'd already had a poz guy unload into me. The post went on to say that the two other couples were also all poz, and going to further add to the "pozzing". I realized as I read this through the fourth time to make sure I was actually reading it correctly that my dick was hard as a rock. I didn't know why, but I was turned on by the fact that I had crossed over that imaginary line. I felt a freedom, instead of worrying when it was going to happen, it already had. I wondered if it was too late, if I was already poz or not yet. Along with the sense of fear, a feeling of relaxation and letting go occurred over the next few hours. I tried to call the couple to ask them about it, but they weren't home, and by the time they did call me back, for some reason I didn't say anything, but just said everything was fine and I was looking forward to our plans tomorrow. It was like I was in a dream of suspended reality. What was I thinking? I was actually even considering going through with this?! There was still a chance I might be neg, even after the Latin guy had cum in me 5 times, I could still be ok, but in some surreal way, I was drawn to the scene, knowing I shouldn't do it, but unable to resist. Its a hard feeling to describe. I figured I would meet them the next night and confront them, and back out, so I went. I got there, full of fear, anger and excitement, ready to tell them off, but somehow didn't. The other guys were there, all but one of them really hot, and the one that wasn't hot, wasn't a slouch by any means at all. They all showed me their negative results (fake names maybe, who knows) and I just sort of dreamlike mumbled, "ok". I started to go through with it. The original couple Italian guy fucked me first as he usually did, and blew into my ass. The other 5 guys were all around me, sucking on my nipples, jacking and sucking me, kissing me, and I was swept away into a blissful passion, I just kind of melted and stopped caring. The Italian guy finished in my ass and pulled out, and almost immediately the next guy got under me, and started to slide in. I knew he was poz and bare, and starting to slip in, and started to stop him, but a warm mouth over mine, and another warm mouth over my dick, and I was silenced. He was in and fucking me. He didn't last too long, and I felt him push all the way in, and hold there, his body shuddered, and then he was cumming inside me. I felt it. I was feeling disgusted with myself, but I was to turned on. I was knowingly taking poz cum into my ass! An ass sank onto my rock hard dick right at that moment, and I looked up, it was the poz Latin guy, and I immediately blew my load right then and there into him. I didn't care anymore. Over the next hour each of the other guys from the new couples mounted and fucked me bare, all blowing inside my ass load after load of poz cum. Finally it was the Latin guy's turn at my ass, and he started rolling one of his "special" condoms over his dick and moved into position. I looked at him right into his beautiful brown eyes, and reached back, pulling the condom from his dick, taking it off. He looked at me kind of quizzically, and when I smiled, he smiled back and pushed into my ass bare. Just like he had the other times, but without the broken condom on this time. He closed his eyes, obviously feeling 5 loads of cum in my now dripping ass, and fucked me for only a minute. I had my hands all over him, grabbing his ass, and I could feel my own load of cum leaking from his ass, where I had let go inside him earlier. A mouth that had been on my dick for a few minutes, took me over the edge again, and I started to cum in the guys mouth. My contractions must have sent the Latin guy over the edge from the feeling, and he came fast into me, this time naturally, without the condom. The reality of what I had done set in later that night when I got back to my hotel. I had cum running out of my ass, and most of it was charged. I again felt really scared, but also majorly relieved. I figured that I was going to convert, but also thought to myself that I was now free to bareback with all guys, poz and neg, and wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. It wasn't a conscious decision I made, it was something I chose not to think about at the moment, because on some level, I was already resigned to it, and maybe even wanted to get it over with. I never discussed that night with those guys, or why I had let the Latin guy bareback cum in me, I think they knew afterwards that I had figured it out, or was too hot to care. The feeling of those poz loads going into me is indescribable, it was mentally one of the hottest experiences sexually that I have ever had. I wouldn't have gone looking for it, don't know if I even wanted it to happen, but it did.
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