Barebacking and mental health: Are you happy? Do you love life?

[GermanFucker]

A simple, yet very personal question: What is the level of happiness in your life?

When I read some of the posts here, they have a very fatalistic outlook on life, in other postings one can clearly see signs of depression. Some psychologists suggest, that while severely depressed gay men have hardly any sex drive, a low-level depression significantly increases the likelyhood of barebacking and risky sexual behaviour.

Then there are guys here who simply enjoy fucking around and living life to the fullest, who understand unsafe sex as the most natural expression of a healthy sex drive.

Asking about a lack of happiness can be construed as criticism, it is not meant that way. Please don't take it personal, rather understand this non-judgemental question as a product of scientific curiosity. It would just be interesting to get a picture of the life of other barebackers.

[bearbandit]

A difficult question: the quality of my life is so dependent on the policies of the UK government, which, in practice, is forcing people who are no longer capable of working into a shrinking jobs market. Nothing in the multiple choices covers the despair and fear that that causes.

Due to known reactions to HIV drugs (denied at the time but freely admitted to now), the illness and heath of a partner and my desire to keep my problems from others, I racked up an impressive 12 years' worth of celibacy. Yes, I would like to have some of those years back, or at least as semblance, but that doesn't turn me into a an if-it-moves-kill-it-monster. Just a gay man who who has looked at the current options and made an informed choice about his options. My HIV infectivity is practically zero, and I really don't want to get any of the current nasties going around. Until my HIV was controlled I lost a quarter of my sex-life so far. If I get a bit greedy at times, who can blame me?

Were it not for the ConDem government's plans for disabled people, I'd put myself into the optmistic category: passionate about work I do, but just that bit scared of the politics. I frightened myself this morning, going to take my bike out to go shopping and found that his front wheel wasn't happy about moving (Don't forget I lived in Wales where we say even on a find day that it's not rained yet). Took me a good half hour to wrestle him (the bike, Mabon) to the the road, in the course of which I realised how weak I'd gotten over the past week. Weakness is not necessarily conchordant with happiness.

Rather than a seeking a measure of happiness I feel a measure of "how freely can I live my life" might be more appropriate. Or perhaps even run the two side by side as there is a certain delight in giving the law the finger (it was my late partner who had the affair with the policeman and I fear he gave him a lot more than the finger...) And I'd be a lot more more happy if the law just ignored me as another benefit claimant, but because I claim long term, I have to be investigated...

It's a fair enough question, GermanFucker, it''s just that I feel that it's a little more complex than your parameters....

[evilqueerpig]

I've always lived my life as I see fit, both sexually and spiritually and as a result, I know that I'm the man I was meant to be...no apologies, no regrets. Of course, I've made my share of mistakes, but even if I could go back and do things differently, I wouldn't.

[marcsoton]

A difficult question: the quality of my life is so dependent on the policies of the UK government, which, in practice, is forcing people who are no longer capable of working into a shrinking jobs market. Nothing in the multiple choices covers the despair and fear that that causes.

Due to known reactions to HIV drugs (denied at the time but freely admitted to now), the illness and heath of a partner and my desire to keep my problems from others, I racked up an impressive 12 years' worth of celibacy. Yes, I would like to have some of those years back, or at least as semblance, but that doesn't turn me into a an if-it-moves-kill-it-monster. Just a gay man who who has looked at the current options and made an informed choice about his options. My HIV infectivity is practically zero, and I really don't want to get any of the current nasties going around. Until my HIV was controlled I lost a quarter of my sex-life so far. If I get a bit greedy at times, who can blame me?

Were it not for the ConDem government's plans for disabled people, I'd put myself into the optmistic category: passionate about work I do, but just that bit scared of the politics. I frightened myself this morning, going to take my bike out to go shopping and found that his front wheel wasn't happy about moving (Don't forget I lived in Wales where we say even on a find day that it's not rained yet). Took me a good half hour to wrestle him (the bike, Mabon) to the the road, in the course of which I realised how weak I'd gotten over the past week. Weakness is not necessarily conchordant with happiness.

Rather than a seeking a measure of happiness I feel a measure of "how freely can I live my life" might be more appropriate. Or perhaps even run the two side by side as there is a certain delight in giving the law the finger (it was my late partner who had the affair with the policeman and I fear he gave him a lot more than the finger...) And I'd be a lot more more happy if the law just ignored me as another benefit claimant, but because I claim long term, I have to be investigated...

It's a fair enough question, GermanFucker, it''s just that I feel that it's a little more complex than your parameters....

How fucking terrible is that people may no longer be able to sit on their arses and expect those of who work to pay for them to do so? May be the government will do something to cut its bloated budget so that I get to keep a reasonable amount of the money I work hard to earn. That'd cheer me up no end.

[bearbandit]

How fucking terrible is that people may no longer be able to sit on their arses and expect those of who work to pay for them to do so? May be the government will do something to cut its bloated budget so that I get to keep a reasonable amount of the money I work hard to earn. That'd cheer me up no end.

Congratulations: you just turned into one of the people who scare me: those unable to see an invisible disability. I've worked fucking hard at losing the "lipo look", though those with a skilled eye can still see it. Yes, I can ride a bike again, but I'm unable to walk for more than a few hundred meters (lipo again). The week I've just spent sitting on my arse has been on the toilet, letting cryptosporidium have its evil way with my guts. That's the bug that usually slips through reservoir safety systems, prompting major public health scares and "boil your drinking water " warnings, and when it does immune-compromised guys don't stand much of a chance but to get it.

I get other HIV-related problems, but lock myself away till they've passed. If you're really so concerned about about much I'm costing you, let me whisper the magic words into your ear: "private fucking income, so butt out on that argument". The only state help I get is a few quid off my rent. The money I've saved the state in home-nursing two partners until their eventual deaths is nothing to what I've cost the state, even before you add into the equation the HIV voluntary work I do.

I got HIV before we knew it existed, even less how to fight it. I've trialled drug after drug so that you, should you need it, have near side effect free drugs should you need them. Fuck it we've now got Post Exposure Prophylaxis and there's talk of Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis. Sounds like you want to have your cake and stop anyone else from eating it. Suits me: the early drugs, from which today's more side-effect friendly drugs were developed, gave me diabetes anyway, so I'm not interested in your cake...