[UK Sauna Slut] Ones Perogative – Anothers Aspercions

[JoshLandaleXXX]

Click here to see Sauna Slut's original blog post...

I was chatting to Cristian Knox tonight on msn about various things bareback related, and we got onto the subject of people who cast aspercions based on our perogative to not use condoms and engage in bareback sex.

Some porn models it would appear get so much vitriol for their work, they stop doing more – which is a shame – surely people watching the porn they are in are into the sex being had, so why should they feel the need to give the same models they wank over a hard time for providing said entertainment?

It led onto our own work in the bareback community, namely our blogs. I cant speak for other bareback bloggers, but I personally get an incredibly large amount of abuse from people who have read my blog. People who read the blog, then take the time to use the contact me page to send me hate mail.

One such comment that our discussion tonight reminded me of, was made by a reader back in early December to my “World Aids Day” posting. I have a very powerful spam filter on the blog, and this persons comments were so harsh as to trigger the filter, and it was prevented from ever seeing the light of day.

I discussed with Cristian the prospect of doing a piece on this, and creating a bit of discussion amongst the community. But in doing so, it would cause one simple problem. An issue that i hadn’t posted on, despite it happening last year. An issue that those who know me, know all about, those that follow me on twitter, or check out my various online profiles, will know what I’m perhaps alluding to as well. But its something I hadn’t posted on the blog. And it’s quite something.

In September 2011, on the 21st to be exact, I had a routine HIV test. It came back positive. The one before that, in March 2011, had been negative.

I am HIV+.

Now, I held off posting this until I got my head around it totally, and that i was happy with what it would entail. I revealed it on twitter shortly after it happened, and the support I’ve had from people on there has been fantastic. I’ve told close friends in real life, and while there has been rumours doing the scene here and there, there’s been no real come back. So, now, months on, I feel relatively confident in making this confession. The confession of all confessions since my blog began way back in 2006.

Why am I sharing this now? Well simply put I want to challenge those people who read bareback blogs, who watch bareback pornography, and then attack those people that write the blogs, produce material, or act in the films. And only by being totally honest and open, can I do that.

I couldn’t share the tale of what this person posted in response to my World Aids Day posting, without the question of whether I was HIV positive or negative arising. So, after chatting with Cristian, and listening to his careful counsel, I decided that I’d go for it.

Before I go on further with that issue though, lets address a few things surrounding HIV and my diagnosis.

Firstly, I do not have AIDS. My viral load is relatively low, and my CD4 count, the count of white blood cells which control the immune system, is very strong – in fact, its stronger than most HIV negative peoples. I’m healthy. There is no sign of medication on the horizon, and hopefully won’t be for some years to come.

Secondly, every sexual partner I’ve had since my diagnosis, has been made aware of my status. I’ve faced rejection, i’ve faced people turning their backs on me, but thats just part of living with HIV. It’s also something that I want to address, not so much here on the blog, but in real life, by working with HIV organisations to raise awareness and support. I contracted the virus, after many years of bareback sex. I knew, when i embarked on this journey, many years before i started writing the blog, that it was a risk that i was taking. However there are many people who get the virus, who didn’t know the risks, or who were lied to by their partners.

Thirdly, contrary to what some may say or beleive, I did not “bug chase”. I never set out to contract the virus willingly. I was aware of the risks I was taking, and accepted them. I engaged in unprotected sex, after making informed, educated choices about my actions, and the potential consqeuences.

—————–

Right, that confession made, I can move onto the real purpose of this posting.

In my World Aids Day posting, which I made, as you now know, as someone who has HIV, I called for people to spare a thought for those who have the virus. To work to stopping prejudice, and reducing stigma. It was a post directed at doing good, not toward myself. It wasn’t introspective.

But a certain reader, who by his own admission is an avid follower of mine, watching my videos, reading the blog, following me on twitter etc… and yet, when i made my posting, this is what he said:

Submitted on 2011/12/16 at 21:19

What a total hypocrite. As a regular barebacker, begging random men to ‘poz’ you, how can you possibly write what you have? You engage in virus spreading. You promote it on your blog, twitter, facebook and xtube etc. You chased the HIV Virus and glorified your search for it. You deserve the very worst consequences of your actions. Now the NHS provides costly treatment to manage your self inflicted disease whilst others – in this country – are denied drugs to treat cancers they had no choice in getting. You are a selfish, deluded, sick person.

So… this person gets off on what I do, yet feels it necessary to attack me for doing it. Interesting.

Then there’s his rant about the NHS. I wonder if this person engages in bareback sex himself? If so, what does he feel about his own treatment for HIV when he finally catches it – which he will, eventually.

What does he feel about the NHS giving treatment to those who smoke, drink, do drugs, drive cars – all of which cost the NHS millions each year, and which carry huge risks. In exactly the same way that bareback sex does.

What are other peoples views on this?

We all know that bareback is HOT, its the only way to fuck. It feels better, is hornier, is more intimate, makes you feel closer to your partner etc… the reasons are endless. We all know that it carries risks.

We all know that HIV treatment costs money. So as barebackers, and fans of barebacking – surely we accept that in countries where universal health care exists, like the UK, we are the lucky ones, but we don’t take it for granted. I wonder how many other bareback bloggers receive similar comments from their readers?

Let me at this stage quicky clarify – this is only one in a handful of negative comments and emails*I get. I’ve hidden them from view until now, as I didn’t want the blog to turn into a slagging match. But after speaking to Cristian, I’ve come to the conclusion that the time is right to post on it.

Should we, as “leaders” if you like, for want of a better expression, of the bareback community, the ones who post openly about the issues affecting the community we represent, just sit idley by as those people who enjoy what we do, then attack us, in some cases to such an extent that those being attacked no longer partake openly in representing our community? Sure what we do is contraversial, we knew that before we embarked on our chosen journeys.* But just because we put ourselves out there, doesn’t mean we should be passive in the face of adversity.* We should openly challenge those who claim to enjoy our work, then attack us for it.

On the other side of the same coin, perhaps there is more education required as well, to those entering the community, either as amateur bareback bloggers such as I, or as mainstream adult entertainers. Perhaps we need to make people better aware that putting ourselves out like this, doesn’t come without its fairshare of abuse and hatred from the very people we set out to entertain.

More...