I was chemmed NYE at Steamworks in Vancouver

[Inception]

Well that was a trip and a half. I guess someone spiked some of the cider at Steamworks sat nite. I’m glad I never tried this shit before when I was young cause I prob would never have been able to handle it. They say it brings out your deepest inhibitions, and those who know me well know how hard it is for me to really let go of my always present rage and give in to my submissive side. I can think of some dumb exes who would have killed to have just once gotten me in the state I was in. Fortunately of all places I ended up probably the best possible place for me in a kind of crazy way. Steam 1 in New West where I spent so much time as a lad and where I probably got pozzed so long ago …sorry MO about always lying to you about that. Some people really liked the old Club Vancouver, and it had it’s moments, but sometimes was just too kinky for me. At the old F212 back in the day me and the other boys there were quite vanilla, but oh so piggy, and at probably one of the most dangerous times ever. We just BATHED in each other’s spunk! Let’s just take a moment to remember some of those poor lost boys….

I don’t know why of us all, whether just sheer luck or the grace of God, but here I stand surviving, looking the way I do. You little twinks today think you are hot shit, you should have seen some of the gorgeous boys who are gone… and you can only wish you had been blessed with such humungous cocks.

For the last ten years I have stuck to some simple rules: No drugs, stay healthy, STICK TO YOUR MEDS, and NEVER EVER put anyone else at risk!!!

So at the height of my high, where did I end up, but amazingly underneath the one daddy who I probably fantasized about more than any my whole life. I finally was willing to be submissive enough to pleasure him. I’m probably gonna look back at that as one of the best deep dickings I have ever taken in my fucking life. Now I see the appeal of this drug, but the drawbacks of it are too great. Knowing now how much pleasure he is able to provide, I wish I hadn`t been such a little bitch in the past. My guts are just so beaten up!

And after the two oh so handsome bears who I got to cuddle and kiss. I was in cub heaven.

The strangest part of the paranoia phase was that I became convinced that somehow the H.A. were out to get me. Which is so strange, cause where I grew up we always looked at the boys as being some of the very best neighbours you could possibly have.

They say the tunnel coming out is the worst, but I guess for me since the place it took me was SUCH the opposite of what those who really know me know I am like, I was just revelling in my return to my real self and all kinds of revenge fantasies. Geez, I was thinking a lot about the time that I know was the final straw for my ex, when I was driving and got cut off and trailed the guy back to his place and took out a baseball bat and just destroyed his car in front of his little kid, and then threatened… ok don’t think I should say anymore.

Thanks god for daddy’s money. And my folks in a weird way. They might not want to acknowledge the existence of their HIV positive faggot son, but when there’s any hint of a scandal somehow they fucking manage to step up.

I gotta say to finish that I’m pretty pissed when I see what’s going on right now with so much PNPing and Bbing. They say that those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it, and I don’t know how we in Vancouver could possibly handle a repeat of what happened back in the day. Truly tears are not enough.

I know there’s some harsh shit in some of what I had to say but please guys don’t flag it. The twinks need to be told, and I dunno who is running them right now, but what a dirty evil asshole. Never forget that these “tops” are just old cunt.