What is it REALLY like to be positive?

[JoshLandaleXXX]

Many people on here will be aware of my barebacking, and most will be aware of my fairly recent diagnosis with HIV. Sure, the sex which led to my diagnosis was hot and horny as hell. But there are things now going on in my life, which aren't "hot"...and its all as a result of being poz.

For example, while I'm healthy now, my viral load at diagnosis was 105,000 and my CD4 was 971, I've had a really bad cold over Christmas and New Year, which is sure to have hammered my CD4 count. I was at the hospital yesterday for another round of blood tests, but wont get the results in until May. If the CD4 drops below 350, then they start me on medications.

Which leads me to another worry. For HAART meds to work, you need good adherence, taking them at the same time, every day, give or take a few hours. In my line of work, that isn't possible, due to work regulations, hours etc. When the time comes that I need medication, I'll have to look for a change of career. Or come clean to my employer, and see if they can work something into the working hours which allows me to take my medication as required.

Not so much issues at the moment, but things which weigh on your mind about the future.

Im aware that, while still healthy, my immune system isn't as good as other peoples, and each time I get a cold, or spot or ache or something wrong with me, i get this irrational worry that it's not just a cold, flu, ache... but that its the start of something more serious. Daft I know, but as any genuine HIV+ person will tell you, these are the kinds of thoughts you have.

I don't regret having the sex I had which led to me being HIV+, and as I said my my recent interview with Cristian Knox, nor would I go back to being HIV negative if it meant having never had bareback sex....

Bareback is seriously hot, and I think I'm one of the most outspoken, vocal amateur supporters of it on the internet. But the reality of HIV isn't just "pop a pill and you're OK"... it's far more complicated than that.

BPHER, a local HIV charity has recently published THIS excellent piece on their website. I think it's essential reading for anyone who seriously thinks HIV is just "a pill a day".

Check it out, it's long, but very informative.

[bearbandit]

People are still dying from it, few and far between, but they still die.

Ive known two different hospital, not five miles apart, have completely different policies on whether "aids" should be included on a death certificate as a cause, or contributory cause, to death. Behind the untimely pneumonias, liver failures, general organ failures, coronorary heart disease or whatever, it's quite possible you've just found the death certificate of someone who died of complications of HIV. Doctors are generally loathe to put HIV disease as a contributing cause of death for fear of upsetting the survivors: one reason why it appears that the death statistics have decreased so dramatically: "he didn't die of HIV disease, he actually died of liver failure, and there's no real reason to think that HIV contributed to his death..." except that had he not had HIV disease his liver may well not have failed. I would maintain that deaths from advanced HIV disease are happening far more often than we're led to believe by official statistics. Looks tidier that way...

[Guest]

Now since I'm POZ all I want is to be filled up with endless amounts of hot creamy cum from any horny man. The feeling of being filled up is sensational and I've gotten fucked raw thousands of times. I want to be fucked roughly and wildly and have a man cum deep inside my gorgeous little hole and roughly play with me while he's doing it and sharing his HIV+ strain with me. I love being filled up, it's incredibly satisfying, it makes me shake with pleasure and whole body orgasms. When I'm in the mood to be used as a cum slut ! I want the man to cum all over inside my seed collecting hole and make sure he shoots his hot yummy man seed deep inside me, into my body. Making sure that he has" marked his territory " no matter if he is HIV+, has AIDS or STD's I will not give up barebacking! I'm already infected and in the heat of the moment drive your bare cock into my hole and give me your precious man seed!