Administrators rawTOP Posted February 15, 2010 Administrators Report Posted February 15, 2010 Click here to see original post on Diary of an Athens, Georgia HIV+ Guy... If you lived long enough, you have probably heard the age old debate on whether "being gay" is a result of nature versus nurture. I guess there are lots of arguments to support either side of the debate based on your own personal feelings and belief. As for me, I can honestly say, that I believe me "being gay" was 100% nature--having been born gay. My earliest remembrance of "being gay" or knowing and feeling I was different happened for me somewhere around the age of five. Of course, I had no clue until I was a little older and began to recollect what certain instances in my life meant to me. My family was on a trip to the Great Smoky Mountains in North Carolina . I cannot pinpoint my exact age or anything but I do know it was before my younger brother was born in 1969 with me being born at the end of 1963. My dad, mom, older sister (born 1961) and my uncle (my dad's brother) were on the trip. I remember much of the trip, especially the scenic vistas of the Great Mountains, a visit to a theme type park named, Santa'sLand, and wading on the rocks in an icy cold mountain stream. I also remember being extremely afraid in Cherokee, NC when we ran into some Cherokee Indians (Native Americans). This was a trip that a young lad of my age would not soon forget. Indians, Santa and being terrified to look off scenic mount sides. I guess the place we camped was part of the National Park. To say the least we were not 100% rustic camping. While we did sleep in tents, have a camp fire and tell ghost stories the campgrounds also had nice facilities. Looking back on these early childhood memories brings me to my earliest recollection of being aroused or realizing there was something about men, cock and nudity that made me different. Again, I only came to this realization much, much later in my teen years. My dad and his brother (my only uncle) headed to the facilities to take a shower. From what I recall the shower area consisted of two open community showers with shower poles in the center with four or five shower heads around the pole. Further out from the poles, which were in the center of this huge area were a series of concrete benches where you could lay your clothes or other belongings while showering. I specifically remember being nervous about getting naked and the thought of just standing in the middle of a room in full view, even though there was no one else around. This of course would be no problem now days and I would actually thrive on such activity (more on this topic when I write about my college years, hehe). My dad undressed me while my uncle was undressing and then undressed himself. There we were two grown men and a young buck completely naked in a shower in the middle of a room in which anyone else could have come in. Let me be clear, there was nothing sexual at all about us showering together. (In my teen years there was some sexual activity with my uncle, which I instigated but I will leave that until later). My dad bathed me, washing my hair and soaping me up with a wash cloth. After I was rinsed and just standing and playing in the water he bathed. I distinctly recall my dad and uncle's hairy bodies with soap in their fur and water running over them. Once everyone was rinsed we dried off and my dad dressed me in my pajamas. At the time this had no meaning to me or my life but would soon realize that I was different. More...
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