TheBreeder Posted March 20, 2012 Report Share Posted March 20, 2012 To see Breeder's original blog post click here I had a long day in the city yesterday, and I didn't get back home until after midnight to check my email and attempt, vaguely, to play catch-up. What I found were a number of comments waiting for approval on a few of my recent posts that, as good-intentioned as they might have been, were simply unacceptable. I thought perhaps I was reading them through a filter of crankiness and weariness, but upon going through them again this morning, I still find them offensive. So I'd like to make a blanket statement, for now and the future. I like my readers to comment upon my posts. When I receive comments, it lets me know that people are reading and digesting what I write. It encourages me to write more. Thank you for the comments you make, very much. However, you are guests here—not only in my blog, but in my bed, and in my sexual history. I don't find it acceptable to visit and to be accusatory and rude, or with the express purpose of lecturing me. When I'm writing about events that occurred over 35 years ago, I'm simply writing about things that happened to me, as I remember them happening to me. It's impossible for me to go back in a time machine and change my responses or choices, distressing as you may find them. It's not acceptable to develop psychosexual histories of my partners in your imaginations and then react to them hysterically, as if they were god-given fact. It's not acceptable to claim that my patterns of sexual behavior are 'criminal.' There are no laws against having many sexual partners, nor against fucking raw. In the future I simply will not be publishing comments that are impolite, whether to me or to the people I write about in here. Even when it comes to disagreement, there are ways to state your opinions in a respectful manner that does not bludgeon me—or the vast majority of my peaceable commenters—over the head with your moral superiority. I encourage you to explore those avenues instead. More... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cumaddict71 Posted March 20, 2012 Report Share Posted March 20, 2012 `You are so fully right, Sir! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBreeder Posted March 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2012 `You are so fully right, Sir! Can I quote you on that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inception Posted March 21, 2012 Report Share Posted March 21, 2012 I kept my thoughts to myself about you last post, as I realize that it was your experience, but I can see how it might upset many - most who aren't gonna be polite when commenting anonymously online. I thought that they were memories perhaps better not shared publicly. They pehaps may get you attention that you don't want. What if your blog went viral? Most people out there have a bludgeon first ask questions later attitude. Most people do not have good memories of early sexual experiences with older individuals. For example just today in Winnipeg Graham James was given 2 years on the new charges he faced. The story is well known in Canada since he sexually assaulted some pretty famous hockey players when he coached them in the juniors, like Theo Fleury who wrote a book about how the abuse wrecked his later life. http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/story/2012/03/19/graham-james-sentence.html Of course these were people in a totally different situation - not actively seeking sex at a young age with older individuals. But most people aren't going to understand the difference, and will just see what you wrote as promoting abusive behaviour. I know what my thinking was like at the same age, and while I understand it, now I wouldn't condone my own behaviour in anyone that age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cumaddict71 Posted March 21, 2012 Report Share Posted March 21, 2012 Can I quote you on that? Absolutely anytime, Sir! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBreeder Posted March 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2012 Most people do not have good memories of early sexual experiences with older individuals. I disagree. Since I cannot read the minds of others, I don't claim to speak for 'most' people. But many people do not admit to having good memories of early sexual experiences with older individuals, because the only acceptable form of discourse in our society when it comes to that particular strain of narrative is one of abuse and molestation. Any other stories are ridiculed and derided and suppressed. I don't condone those behaviors, either; I think we all recognize they're inappropriate. At the same time, I'm not going to pretend that my own personal youthful experience were either unwelcomed or not enjoyed, nor am I going to apologize for sharing them publicly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilqueerpig Posted March 27, 2012 Report Share Posted March 27, 2012 If you have nothing nice to say...say nothing! Not to excuse such poor behavior, but it could be symptomatic of their own unhappy lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slowfuck Posted March 28, 2012 Report Share Posted March 28, 2012 Differences of opinion are fine, but there are ways to express them without personal attacks which detract from the value of the opinion the attacker is trying to communicate. The modern world of connected but at the same time disconnected people seems to be eroding the skills of tact and diplomacy that you need when face to face. It seems to be the big downside to our wired world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBreeder Posted March 29, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 29, 2012 Differences of opinion are fine, but there are ways to express them without personal attacks which detract from the value of the opinion the attacker is trying to communicate. The modern world of connected but at the same time disconnected people seems to be eroding the skills of tact and diplomacy that you need when face to face. It seems to be the big downside to our wired world. I agree, Slowfuck. There are ways to express dissent without resorting to a type of hyperbole that leaves behind nothing but scorched earth. It's a shame that the only kinds of public discourse we see of late leaves no room for shades of disagreement, but forces dissenters to characterize their opponents as liars and criminals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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