open relationship...

[Hotload84]

I haven't read that one, but Delany can be really uncomfortable to read, and directly gross. And I say this as a pig into felching, who was fisted, fucked bb and drank piss from an asshole from a big hairy pig with rank pits.

I haven't read Through the Valley of the Next of Spiders but I have read several other works he wrote, including The Mad Man, and I would have to agree with HungLatinDom - Delany's works can be quite uncomfortable.

[spike-the-cat]

But I find it uncomfortable in a way that is liberating--not unlike the discomfort I felt on my first visit to a true SM dungeon. I had wanted it bad, but still, I wasn't sure if I wanted *that* or *that* or *that." But the actual visceral encounter took me into, through and past discomfort.

But maybe that's just me.

[spike-the-cat]

On the other hand, I think it brings us back to the original topic.

There will be some discomfort as you work through your feelings about an open relationship. It is easier to believe in your own emotionally fidelity than that of someone else. It can raise your own fears about your perceived inadequacies.

But there are discomforts to a closed monogamous relationship, too--opportunities for experiences foregone, fetishes and desires submerged because the partner is turned off by them (or worse, bored with them). Exclusivity and smothering dependency can be flipsides of the same coin.

That something worthwhile is sometimes uncomfortable or sometimes hard is no reason not to pursue it. Lots of things require effort and facing up to our own doubts and fears in order to achieve a worthwhile or valued goal.

If the relationship is worth it, if he is worth it, don't deny that moment of jealousy when he grins while sitting on a cock bigger than yours, but don't let it rule you.

Set up rules--together--so there is a relationship safe zone (not in our bed unless we're both there is a good one to start), have some space of comfort for the two of you that is comfortable, make sure you are regularly expressing that you are one another's priority, and establish a way to communicate if something is taking you too far beyond your comfort zone at the moment to continue.

But don't back away at the first moment of discomfort, because then you may miss a minute or two later, when, finally settled down on that big dick, he waves you over to kiss him while he's getting fucked and the ecstatic stare in his eyes as he looks deeply into you, then someone slides behind you and starts pushing into your ass, and the smile as he watches you take it is totally for you.

[FTLBBversbttm]

bigdick, I have no problem hearing about his exploits. I probably ask too many questions though. I don't even mind him having sex with another in our bed and kind of think it's hot smelling another man when I go to bed with him (I am a freak what can I tell you). However, I draw the line on dates. If he wants sex - fine. There is no Starbuck's get togethers, drinks at the local bar getting to know each other better or anything like that. I have a hard line on that one. He has one fuck buddy that's in another city and that guy is not a concern.

[bigdick4you]

Dear boybbtm.... One has to draw the line somewhere...and it's different for everyone....if u r comfortable with ur guy having sex in ur bed.... By all means go along with it.... I prefer to keeps certain things for ourselves.... Like our bed. Don't need to know with who he has slept but if I ask him straight out, I expect an honest answer... He has a few regular fuckbuds and so do I....it makes me uncomfortable that he does.... But on the other hand it's also better as they know where they stand.... I make it very clear to my fbuds that I'm only interested in having sex with them but that I love somebody else....I also talk about my guy with them so there is no confusion.... For me they r only pass time but the real deal is somewhere else....dinner and drinks r ok as long as everyone knows their place.... Wouldn't hold hands with them or kiss them in public.... That's something exclusively I do with my bf.... I know it might sound cold.... But like this u avoid a lot of confusion...

[iamtheone]

Its funny . I live in NYC an i always meet married gay couples, I cannot even tell you the amount of married guys that always want to try to hook up and fuck BB and are not in an open relationship.

I rather people be honest and have an open relationship then cheat non stop. But i do find it hot! heheheh and dirty