[True Life Tales] so heres what happened...part 3

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I ran to I dont know where, but it wasnt far. I stopped and looked around. It was dark, it was cold and the rain wasnt far off. Paul's flat wasnt far away, but I couldnt get my bearings so I turned and began to walk back the way I came.

Smoking helped calm me down slightly, but my mind was clouded, I couldt think straight, I couldnt process the fact that S was here, nowl I had dreamed about him being with me for so long, and now he was, I didnt know what to do.

I had thought that at the begining of this year I was finally over him. The day came in January when I saw him on MSN, he started talking to me, but I really wasnt interested, and that was when I kind of new it myself, I didnt care about him anymore.

But when I saw him, I just didnt know what to think. As I started to head back my phone rang, it was Si. He wanted to know what the hell had happened, where was I? I mumbled something about having seen an old friend and had to go speak to him, and told him I would be back in a minute. He seemed less than convinced but I hung up quickly. As I got closer to the bar we were in, I saw S sitting quietly on a bench, his eyes closed, thinking.

Something drew me over and I sat down beside him, looking away. Somehow without opening his eyes or turning to see me he knew I was there. I went straight for the one thing I wanted to know.

'Were you planning on telling me you were here?'

'Why what would you have done then?'

'I dont know, at least I would have known.'

'I didnt know if I wanted to see you.' he replied, looking at me. My mind was getting clearer becuase I felt like I was under attack and I had to bring up the defenses.

'Ok so thats how it is then...'

'Oh dont be so fucking stupid Nick.' he growled, grabbing me round so we were eye to eye. 'You think that I could have came here, seen you and left again? Do you think you are the only one thats fucking heartbroken? You cant see past your own emotions sometimes, you really cant.'

I didnt say anything. I felt like just getting up there and then. Forgetting it all. Going back to the bar with Si and just fucking leaving him to it.

'Dont think I ever stopped loving you.' he said. 'Im here because home is shit. It was shit before you came and after you left, and I havnt realised that I could do something about that untill recently. Im over here for a month to stay with John [who was his mate in Manchester] and see if I like it. If I did, I was going to stay, and come and see you.'

'And then what?'

'I dont know, I would have seen where it went, at least if we were friends, at least if we got to see each other even if we werent together.'

'So? What do you want? Are you staying here?'

'Nick I dont know, ive only been here a week. You have to let me think and decide myself.'

'Ok, whatever. I'll leave you alone to find yourself, Im going back in.' He started saying something but I wasnt listening. I got back in and saw Si. I gave him a big hug.

'I was worried about you!' he said 'are you ok?'

'Yeah Im fine, just had to settle something with an old mate, dont worry about it. Drink?'

We continued the night. I forgot about S, I really did, and we had a great time. We all went along to a club soon after, and thats where I saw him again with John and his mates, he seemed kind of lost. I was up dancing with Si. At the one moment S looked over is when Si decided to kiss me and slide his hands down my jeans. After we did that, I turned around again and S was still looking at us. When he saw me he turned away and walked over to the bar. I told Si I was going to get another drink and went to the bar.

I looked at him, then turned to look at Si. He had already found another group of guys to dance with, he would be ok. Yeah he was hot, but looking back at S, I couldt help but smile. I moved into him and whispered into his ear. 'Glad yor here.'

By about half two, John and S were leaving, and Johns flat was only two minutes away from Pauls, where me and Si were staying. I told Si I had to help S home because he was fucked, and he said ok, giving me his spare key to get in. He kissed me passionalty and told me to wait up for him.

By the time we got outside, John had fucked off somewhere with someone, and it was just me and S walking back to the flat. He gave me that look he used to give me when he was really horny, and I returned it.

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