Is it over?

[losttop]

Have been in open relationship with this guy for almost a year now....we started our relationship playing with others, but after few months he didn't seem to be interested anymore...we r having long distance relationship and there always seems to be lot of drama as he wants to know with exactly I'm having sex with all the time.... We were supposed to go somewhere next week and we were making arrangements to make bookings.... All was fine till he said that we would be staying at gay resort that was kind of sleazy(his words). I said that it was fine.... After that the tone changed..... He said I always wanted to have sex with others all the time and that he was over it.... I told him I was joking and that I wanted to be with him. He keeps saying its all over as I will never change.... The truth is that I care very much for him and that I don't necessarily need to have sex with him together with others.... If I wanted that I would look for bf that would give me that.... The truth of the matter is that he he is studying at the moment and from day one I have picked up most of the bills like hotels and trips abroad and in the US. I'm just hurt and feel that he is using this as an excuse to break up with me.... What do u guys think?

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Hopefully this discussion with him is happening at least by phone and NOT email (which is a horrible way to communicate).

Were I in your situation, I would call him and tell him that you respect his seeming desire to break up with you. But ask that you meet anyway as had been planned. You pick the location, and make it more a regular hotel, not a sleezy gay one. Set the stage so that you two can discuss your desires. At end, he may still decide he wants to go his own way. But at least you'll have had the benefit of looking at each other, discussing your respective wants, needs, desires, hopes; and coming to a conclusion that you both feel is the best.

[bbzh]

First figure out what you want. And if it ain't what he wants, then cut the emotional ties now. He's still growing up and/or finding himself it seems. Don't allow yourself to be put through the wringer over some bullshit. Life is way too fucking short. No matter how good the sex is, it ain't worth the crazy!

[einathens]

some flings aren't meant to be anything more. if you're not happy and he's not happy, why drag it out?

[AlwaysOpen]

Sounds like he has gotten a bad infection of jealousy. You are a top , by the screen name, and so are much more in demand for your cock than he is for his hole, and he is resentful. If you are hosting him and all the expenses on these get togethers, and he is not enjoying them or you, why are you still doing it? Long distance relationships are difficult at best- it sounds like this experiment has come to an end and needs to be declared over. You guys began the connection being open, and that was the game plan. Now he wants to rewrite it and you-- do you really want to be made over??

[losttop]

Sounds like he has gotten a bad infection of jealousy. You are a top , by the screen name, and so are much more in demand for your cock than he is for his hole, and he is resentful. If you are hosting him and all the expenses on these get togethers, and he is not enjoying them or you, why are you still doing it? Long distance relationships are difficult at best- it sounds like this experiment has come to an end and needs to be declared over. You guys began the connection being open, and that was the game plan. Now he wants to rewrite it and you-- do you really want to be made over??

The truth is that it's all about a connection...when I give myself to someone it means something.... He is not an hole to me....he means much more to me.... I really like him and I would really miss it if it would end.... But I do understand where u r coming from as many of my friends say that he is not all that... But for me he is as I do love him.... This doesn't mean that he can treat me badly or that my life is over if he doesn't want to be with me.... But the truth is I do care for him and won't let him go without a fight...

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

The truth is that it's all about a connection...when I give myself to someone it means something.... He is not an hole to me....he means much more to me.... I really like him and I would really miss it if it would end.... But I do understand where u r coming from as many of my friends say that he is not all that... But for me he is as I do love him.... This doesn't mean that he can treat me badly or that my life is over if he doesn't want to be with me.... But the truth is I do care for him and won't let him go without a fight...

Yup, that was pretty clear from your original post. But none of us here on BZ (or anywhere else for that matter) are the place to look for your answer. You and he need to have a CONVERSATION. It cannot be by email. Ideally face to face, but if that won't work then by phone. Ask him his needs and desires; tell him yours. It either has places where you mesh, or not. If not, then sadly, it'll be over.

But my bottom line, none of us here can answer that... Only the two of you can...

[einathens]

so you feel a connection. does he? what does it mean to you? what does it mean to him?

long distance isn't working. how do you fix it? do you give up your life and move to him? does he give up his life and move to you?

and what happens once you're together? how do you deal with your differing sexual needs? your different economic levels? your different levels of emotional maturity?

i don't see a way to make this work, but i wish you luck.