?'s about relationship

[bbckbuddy]

I've been seeing this guy for about 8 months. he is partnered for 12 yrs but they don't live together. they are also serodiscordant. he's hiv+, as am i. he says they don't have sex b/c of that (and i think he's being honest about this.) currently, he spends 3 nights/week at my place (all weeknights) and we occasionally get together on the weekends. the sex is off the charts but we don't do a lot of stuff other than that (he's got a "big" job and is always working and it's winter so the opportunities to do things other than watch tv, have sex and go to bed are limited.) i've made my feelings known to him--that i would like to this to be "more". he says that he's tried to figure how to make this work but can't (which i also believe.) am i wasting my time with him? i'm 54 y/o and "not getting any younger." should i stick with this and be happy for what i have? (we really enjoy each other's company and at one time he said he loved me but i think is reluctant to say that now for fear of leading me on.) should i cut my losses and move on? this is the first guy i have connected (emotionally) with in 10+ years. i get conflicting advice from my friends. any thoughts?

[smartstud2010]

if you want more, and he's not going to give you what you want--i'd keep looking. sorry, mate. best of luck!

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

bbckbuddy; great questions that sadly, only YOU can answer. For awhile you can probably have it both ways; keep seeing him for the NSA sex; but explore men beyond him with developing a relationship in mind.

[straycowboy]

Honest answer yes, you're wasting your time. Is that bad or good ? Only you can decide that. If you can be happy with the way things are going then stick with it. If you really need someone to love and share your life with, then move on. It doesn't mean you have to kick him to the road, just look for that person who can share their whole life with you. Who knows maybe after you find him you may both want to share this relationship, maybe not. Cross that bridge when you get there. Just remember be true to yourself, and honest with the guys you are interested in.

[einathens]

i would guess that it's never going to be more than it already is.

if his primary relationship has survived more than a decade and serodiscordancy, he's never gonna leave the guy for you. why should he? he gets life with him and sex with you.

only you can know if a diet of leftovers is enough for you. for me it wouldn't be.

[bigdick4you]

Only u can decide it that's enough for u.... Do u feel good when u r with him? Does he make u feel special or do u get the feeling he is only with u for the sex? But let me tell u.... Good guys r hard to come by.... If u found someone that makes u feel good and respects u.... I would go for it....

[bbckbuddy]

i really appreciate the replies to this thread. i can't say that i'm more sure what to do given the complex nature of this relationship that perhaps was not related in my initial enquiry. i know all relationships are complicated (i think) but i want you guys to know that i am very grateful for you looking at this.