Why?

[Guest diapbttmboi]

I'm a bottom, I don't like to top. I don't even like having my cock sucked or played with during sex. I make sure everyone knows this before anything happens (unless it's spontaneous or cruising etc).

I got an online invite to a 3sum so this guy (vers) and his top friend could spit roast me. The top guy agreed to go bare so I was obviously in. Then the vers guy starts saying that the top fucks for a long time and will want to fuck him too to give me a rest but it was ok as he would suck me during this.

So it went from spit roasting me, to me spitroasting him....

What the fuck?

[fuckboy20]

Welcome to growth.

You know, not all tops out there are always tops. Sometimes you start out from the bottom. That being said I'm sure there are some that never bottomed.

I understand where you're coming from. I used to hate my dick being played with, touched, looked at, or even talked about. Never let anyone suck me and barely fucked anyone. Hell I think one of the only times I ever had anyone I want head from back then was a guy at a theatre once. He was beefy, furry, submissive, and he had an eagerness and something in his eyes and without saying anything I pulled out his cock and he sucked me. I actually caressed his hair, rubbed him, and encouraged him a little. I was actually so freaked out by what I had just did that I pulled off from him and left. I feel bad about that now. And once at a bath house when I was sucking a guy a very obedient natured bottom came by and he started sucking me. But the way he did and the fact that it felt good surprised me. But it also reminded me of me, he had a submissive heart. I ended up fucking his face, his ass, and bred him. I even took him to another club and fucked him openly in the sling bareback, bred him a few times, and fucked him a few more times in a room. Although he wasn't completely clean I let it go since he was eager.

And at a club a few weeks ago I decided to fuck a bottom and a top came by and actually fucked me while I was fucking the bottom in the sling.

I think the truth is that lots of bottoms don't give their dick credit. They believe that they are the bottom, the bitch, the submissive, and that their ass and pleasing a top with their ass is all that matters. And I used to think like that but a fuck buddy of mine was less leather, less Sir like, and more human like which brought out a little more human in me. I like to jack off. So why shouldn't I let a guy suck me. I'll admit there are some guys out there that can't suck me and I pull off fast or tell them to take it easy. But those who do suck it well I let them continue. But part of it is that my dick is sensitive because I'm uncut.

Like I said I'm not entirely sure. But I believe that some of the good tops out there started out as bottoms but became tops later on. So who knows. Could be the sign of things to come. Be proud and allow your dick to feel pleasure whether it's fucking a hot ass or getting head. Remember it's getting off just not having to jack it yourself. And a warm ass does feel really good. And in many ways. Who better to top then someone who knows how it feels to get fucked. Who likes to get fucked different ways and in different ways.

Best of luck with your new discovery

[einathens]

i've never understood rigid positionists, those who boast of being 100% top or bottom.

be who you are, of course, but why would anyone willingly reject half of the options available? i don't get it.

i do have phases where i bottom 90% of the time or top exclusively for a week or two, but then the mood changes or opportunity presents itself and the dom top turns into an aggressive butch bottom for the weekend, or that sweet pussyboy spends the afternoon pounding my hole until i can't take it anymore.

it's all the better because it's unexpected.

topping makes you a better bottom, and vice versa.

never let yourself be forced or coerced into doing anything sexual you don't want to do, but recognize that what you want can change, even just for a few minutes, and be willing to explore those changes.

sex is when we are our true selves, and few of is are just one thing. enjoy all the parts of yourself whenever you have the chance.

if nothing else, being versatile doubles your chance of getting laid.

[ppwanker]

For me I am a total bottom.. And this has been frustrating at times.. I am not bad looking and have a nice thick 6.5 cock.. But ANY time an ass even a hot ass is presented to me to fuck I go limp..

Once I was at the top of the Phoenix and this hot boy was smoking and got me all hot and bothered he wanted me and I wanted him.. Even with a vitamin V when I went in for penetration I went soft.. Leaving BOTH of us frustrated and very unhappy.

This has happened in different scenarios in my life.. I keep thinking that I could change, but alas it hasn't..

I too have to be in a special place to enjoy a blow job.. I have cum on probably 2 people's mouths in my 52 years..

The one time I came in someone's ass was when I was 16 and when I was done I thought this wasn't what I wanted at all.. I turned around told him to fuck me and I came again while he was fucking me.. And thought this is what it is all for, me getting fucked..

[Bear4Breeding]

I can somewhat relate to what diabbttmboi is saying. I was very vers in my younger years, I loved to fuck a hot ass just as much as getting my ass fucked by a nice hard cock. THe only problem then and now is that, I usually never cum. I can count on one hand the number of times I actually shot a load in a hook up situation or in the baths and most of those are because they were either in the Baths or in a public setting with huge risk of getting caught. If I am in a bedroom with someone I never cum. Hell it took me six months to cum regularly with my first BF. I tend to think to much, or at least that's what my first BF told me. I am more intent on pleasing my partner than myself. So these days I tend to be more of a bottom because of the fact I never cum and some guys honestly don't like that fact, so I've been very upfront about it for years, particularly after a guy got really pissed off that I wouldn't shoot a load.

I tend to try and get guys attention off my own cock for these reasons. Enjoy my ass and my mouth and if you cum in either I am content at that and can jerk off at a later time, so for me the attention paid to my dick is frustrating for me as I know I wont cum, don't get me wrong it usually feels really good, particularly if it has been a while since I've had any actual human sexual contact. But again, I don't cum. ((

[fuckboy20]

I can somewhat relate to what diabbttmboi is saying. I was very vers in my younger years, I loved to fuck a hot ass just as much as getting my ass fucked by a nice hard cock. THe only problem then and now is that, I usually never cum. I can count on one hand the number of times I actually shot a load in a hook up situation or in the baths and most of those are because they were either in the Baths or in a public setting with huge risk of getting caught. If I am in a bedroom with someone I never cum. Hell it took me six months to cum regularly with my first BF. I tend to think to much, or at least that's what my first BF told me. I am more intent on pleasing my partner than myself. So these days I tend to be more of a bottom because of the fact I never cum and some guys honestly don't like that fact, so I've been very upfront about it for years, particularly after a guy got really pissed off that I wouldn't shoot a load.

I tend to try and get guys attention off my own cock for these reasons. Enjoy my ass and my mouth and if you cum in either I am content at that and can jerk off at a later time, so for me the attention paid to my dick is frustrating for me as I know I wont cum, don't get me wrong it usually feels really good, particularly if it has been a while since I've had any actual human sexual contact. But again, I don't cum. ((

That's a very good point. The first man I fucked bare after I became poz was already poz. He kinda tricked me but the second time I came in his ass. I just focussed on how good his ass felt and how I just wanted to fuck it. And then it came to the point where the friction on my dick felt so good I wanted to cum. But it's because I thought, "This is hot ass..I want to fuck it and cum." I used to think more like, "I have to make sure I fuck him hard, make sure he enjoys it, make sure I'm top enough for him, make sure I breed him."

It's not a bad thing to want to think of the partner you are with and their pleasure over yours. And now that I think about it that guy I fucked at the sex club a few nights ago. I could have cum in him a few times because it was a hot environment, guys were watching, a top played with my ass, it was in a sling and everything about it was hot. I did fuck a guy a few nights after and I bred him twice that night. It did take a little more for me to fuck him. But I wasn't thinking about pleasing him or making sure he was happy or satisfied. That being said I could tell by his moans and body movements that he was enjoying it. But for me it was about the ass and fucking it.

I was never able to fuck guys when I used condoms and even after I told them that I'm not really a good top. There have been times where a top wants me to cum and times he doesn't and I'm fine with that. It is hot to think about later and cum. I'm wondering is it the same with oral for you? I think I can count only TWO guys that blew me in a bath house or sex club type place where I actually shot inside their mouth. If they were lucky I would be able to jack myself off and put it back in their mouth and have them swallow it. But I could not do that with everyone.

But maybe I just realized something about topping. Maybe some tops are selfish and they just want ass and want a warm hole to fuck and load instead of having to use their hand. It might not be the diplomatic way of thinking to fuck someone. And just because you just want ass doesn't mean you don't enjoy it or the person you are with. But overthinking it and worrying will make you go soft. Same goes for bottoming. A fuck bud of mine is REALLY BIG. It used to be so hard for me to take him because all I thought was, "I have to please him, have to make him happy, have to be a good bottom, a good boy." But last time we got together I instead told myself, "I want this cock..I want him inside me, I want to get fucked, I want his load."

You might be able to cum inside a man if you just change your way of thinking. Since that might be what prevents you from doing it in the first point. Or maybe, not thinking. I have had a guy get upset with me too when I diddn't give him my load. But as a bottom I can understand not getting a load from a top.

[Bear4Breeding]

You might be able to cum inside a man if you just change your way of thinking. Since that might be what prevents you from doing it in the first point. Or maybe, not thinking. I have had a guy get upset with me too when I diddn't give him my load. But as a bottom I can understand not getting a load from a top.

I don't think about that guy that got upset because I didn't cum. I was the bottom at the time if memory serves me correctly. I just know it happened once and so I am up front about the fact that I most likely wont cum when hooking up with guys.

You are probably right about thinking or thinking those things while in the moment. In all honesty I can't really say what it is I think about while having sex. Unless the sex is rather dull, then I tend to think about things such as what I have to do over the weekends or what I need to get at the grocery store and just wait for him to unload in me. That usually only happens when either the cock is really small or he doesn't know how to use it very well, then my mind wonders to other things cause he isn't hitting the right spots but that is a totally different subject.

I'll have to give think the things you stated in your post next time. But as for topping that doesn't happen much anymore, I can get in and start but I don't usually stay hard for long these days and am sure that is related to other things and not just thinking I want to fuck that ass etc.

[fuckboy20]

I don't think about that guy that got upset because I didn't cum. I was the bottom at the time if memory serves me correctly. I just know it happened once and so I am up front about the fact that I most likely wont cum when hooking up with guys.

You are probably right about thinking or thinking those things while in the moment. In all honesty I can't really say what it is I think about while having sex. Unless the sex is rather dull, then I tend to think about things such as what I have to do over the weekends or what I need to get at the grocery store and just wait for him to unload in me. That usually only happens when either the cock is really small or he doesn't know how to use it very well, then my mind wonders to other things cause he isn't hitting the right spots but that is a totally different subject.

I'll have to give think the things you stated in your post next time. But as for topping that doesn't happen much anymore, I can get in and start but I don't usually stay hard for long these days and am sure that is related to other things and not just thinking I want to fuck that ass etc.

I can understand that. The guy that I did it with to make things worse, I also thought of myself getting fucked. Since that normally gets me hard.

Haha. That is a completely different subject but that's funny as hell. That's like those guys that text when they are getting fucked, or do their nails, decide what to eat for dinner and etc. For the most part I can say I haven't had many experiences like that. I always, "feel" when the top enters me and when getting fucked. I always try to feel everything in the moment and take it all in. Because afterwards I won't be remember to really know what it feels like unless it's happening. But sometimes I really focus on the top and try to please him or I enjoy it. It depends on the man.

Maybe if you are with a hook up sometime afterwards or somewhere in between try to think of "the man's ass". I remember even when I was a bottom and around 18 a fuck buddy of mine had a hot furry ass. I felt it sometimes when I was massaged him and it felt so hot, warm, and fuzzy there were so many times I just wanted to get in there and fuck him. I fingered him a little but he never let me fuck him. But it can probably go opposite that if you only think of the guys ass you might overthink it. Basically it will probably happen when it happens and when you want to. Don't feel guilty or worry about topping right now and don't try to top if you don't want to. But if you "feel" the urge to or want to don't ignore that. Just keep an open mind. And if possible act on that urge.

Alot of things I used to think about that prevented me from topping like being an obedient bottom, condoms at one point, barebacking so much that I might be poz and not wanting to infect anyone, and stuff like that blocked my head and me from ever topping or trying to. But there were small instances or moments with some guys when I "thought" about it and certain men who I did want to fuck. But now I don't let those things block my mind. It could be that all along I might have wanted to.

Now who's overthinking it?

[Bear4Breeding]

Oh I love a nice ass even now I do. There are ass's I see all the time I wouldn't mind fucking so it is still there, just acting on it and knowing what will happen or not happen is what stops me these days. I'll top again I am sure, guys have always liked my dick and to the best of my knowledge have always enjoyed it. My 2nd BF always said I had the perfect curve and his eyes alwayw rolled into his head when I fucked him. So I will top again, just not right now.

[fuckboy20]

I don't doubt that. Curved cocks are some of my favorites. Especially riding them they can make me almost cum instantly. I'm sure you'll eventually have an experience where you both flip flop and it will be incredible. I look forward to hearing about it when you top again

[BlindRawFucker]

I'll admit that I'm not a very good top, although I enjoy it. It is great being vers, it is the best of both worlds.

As I've gotten older, I do enjoy getting fucked more than topping. Unfortunately, the opportunities to do either are few and far between.

It doesn't matter what you consider yourself to be, just enjoy yourself.