Administrators rawTOP Posted April 24, 2010 Administrators Report Share Posted April 24, 2010 Click here to see Adam's original blog post... I received a comment from a reader that I think could open the door to some good discussion of the issues surrounding the gay community and human sexuality in general. hot blog! i'm a 26 yr. old male in nyc in a ltr. been with my bf (28) for 6 years now and love him very much (we live together) long story short we have an excellent sex life but he is unable to cum in me… for all 6 yrs. he has never cum in me once… I spoke to him abt it several times but I accepted him for what it is... anyway i've been having an off and off affair with a 32 yr. old married guy since last summer... I never allowed him to fuck me until yesterday I couldn't resist the temptation anymore... I called him and he was there within an hour and I allowed him to fuck and fill me up with his cum. it was amazing and i felt accomplished it was exactly what i wanted… (we spoke abt his hiv status before the sex and he assure me he was neg) I just feel like crap now with the guilt bc I truly love my bf and gave into temptation which can put him at risk…. just needed to get this off my chest. I'm pretty sure someone will understand? I understand. I don't know if I can give it my stamp of approval, but no one needs my approval. The thing is, human sexuality at its most basic level is about procreation. As such, it's really not a surprise that men of all sexual orientations and sexual roles have a fixation on insemination. I certainly do! The drive felt by this reader, the need to feel that sense of completion that comes only from an internal cumload, is a primal drive. As humans, I suspect that's the only reason that HIV still has a foothold in the world... our brains know better, our emotions conflict appropriately. But ultimately, that most powerful drive revs up the engines down below and we make it happen. I don't know if I know any gay men who haven't made the "mistake" at least once, if they're truly honest. I understand this reader's need to do so, as well as his guilt. It's unfortunate that he's found what may be the love of his life, and finds himself in a position of not being able to do that most intimate thing with his partner. I'm surprised that the partner can't cum inside him, though... and of course it sort of puts the lie to what I just said on the power of the insemination drive. So maybe, then, there's a different level of primal need for that, and the reader just has a more powerful drive to fulfill the exchange of semen. I want to say that he's perfectly justified in going out and getting what he needs. But I don't know that that's true... no matter who assures us they're HIV-, that isn't necessarily true and they might not know. On the other hand, my urge to admonish him doesn't feel quite right, either. He finally got to know what that sense of completion and satisfaction feels like. So perhaps what it leads me to is that it's both good and bad, as so many things in life are. It has its place in his life, it might have consequences, and it has both positive and negative (pardon the pun) aspects all at the same time. The trouble maker in me wants to encourage him to do it again, but just to make sure it's with only the one, married guy. Perhaps it's the sort of situation where two people find themselves able to fulfill one small part of the other, while the primary relationships fulfill the rest of their needs. It would be better if all relationships fulfilled all needs... but they don't. So if the marriage and the long-term relationship can remain intact because this extra bit of fulfillment is available on the side... what's the harm in that? Share your thoughts! More... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts