New Here and New to Barebacking

[POZCuriousBoy]

Hi Guys. I'm new here, but I love it so far. There is so much information and of course hot stories in this forum. Well, I will tell you a little about me. I guess I would consider myself in between a normal guy and a cub. I am not really chubby, but I do have a tummy with a little extra padding. I'm 5'11", 220 - 235 lbs (depending on how glutton with food I've been), with brown hair and eyes. I'm a versatile/bottom, but prefer bottoming. Of course, I do love to top a hot bottom occasionally, too. I am just an average guy with a very high sex drive, but I don't get much action except with my hand. LOL

I started watching bb porn a few years ago and then quickly found out that watching condom porn wasn't a turn on for me anymore. I needed to see a raw cock and cum being in a bottoms hole and I started wanting to be the bottom in the videos. I have always been a condom "Safer Sex" guy, but I wanted to know what it was like to be fucked bb. Since I wasn't a chaser or wanted to catch a STD I was scared to even try it, but I still craved it badly. I finally decided to ask my regular fuck buds if they would fuck me bb instead with a condom. He said "Hell Yes" and that is how I started taking loads in my ass. We have known each other for years and he was a total top, so I completely trusted him. Being bred with his neg load satisfied my needs and made me content.

Then little over a year and a half ago I started reading bb fiction in this forum and found the Chasing fiction. Those stories really started getting me turned on and now they are the only type of bb fiction I like reading. This also turned me on to bb porn where guys have biohazard tattoos or if I know they are poz. The chasing fantasy became a HUGE turn on for me. Of course, I still am not a chaser or want to catch a STD, but I'm afraid I am becoming one. Being bred with my friends neg load while still great started to feel like just wearing a condom again. I was still scared to take a stranger's raw cock up my ass. I started telling my friend about my fantasy and he wasn't shocked about it at all. He has a lot of friends that bb but are not chasers. They just don't discriminate against any load they take up their holes. Most are neg, but a few of his friends have become Poz and don't really seem to mind it. I told him that that isn't something I felt comfortable with.

Then a few days ago I went over to my friends house for our "Monthly" play date. Yes, monthly. I don't get to play very often. When I got there I discovered he had a friend over and he asked me if I wanted to have a 3-way. I said sure, because the guy was hot and I love 3-ways. I asked my friend if his buddy was going to wear a condom, and he said "No". Of course, I started to change my mind, but my friend told me not to worry about it and go with it. He reminded me that this is what I jerk off to all the time. I asked if his friend was neg or poz, and once again he told me to "Not worry about it and go with it". He told me to trust him. I reluctantly said "Okay" because I was so horny and I wanted to be bred by both of them. Well, that night they both fucked my hole hard and bred me good. His friend even shot 2 loads up my ass. Later after his friend left and I stopped being horny I began to freak a little. What have I done? I let a strange I just met cum up my ass.... twice! I kept asking my friend if the guy was Poz or Neg? But he wouldn't tell me. That really freaked me out. After a long drama filled ending to the night, my friend finally broke down and told me... He was Negative! He had know him for years and he is also I complete top. I asked him why he didn't tell me? He told me he wanted me to get over the fear of being barebacked because he knew I loved it and it was a fantasy of mine to let a stranger shoot his load up my hole. I was still upset by this and went home.

Here is the problem that I have. I really enjoyed it.... I mean I Really, Really enjoyed it. Now that I have had time to think about it, it was probably the best sex I have had in a long time. Plus, now I fantasize about it and the thought of letting other guys I don't know shoot a load up my hole constantly. I'm confused and I don't really know what to do? My dick and my head are not agreeing at all. My behavior is dangerous. I have already told my friend about how I feel now and he said I should go slow but follow my urges. I don't know. I'm sure he would love it if I would become more "Free" regarding raw sex, but I am still very scared. Unfortunately, unless I can force myself to change what I am obsessed with then I know I will do it again. I'm just afraid I will become Poz and it will be a big mistake. But how do you stop the feeling of wanting it when you know it is dangerous? That is where I am at right now.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Hmmm, what to say. Clearly you have to come to your own conclusions on this one.

For myself; I've taken many cum loads from many men. Seriously I have no way to count. Some decades worth of BB sex with me most often being the one taking the loads. And yet; years later: I remain neg. The few STI's I've had along the way have all been treated, so on balance, no real bad impact. I know of others who pozzed on the first fuck.

IF I ever convert, for me it won't be the end of the world. While I think it is less likely; I long ago stopped worrying about whether or not "this load will be the one".

Some things for you to think about. IF you converted, what is your life situation and ability to manage the copay costs for whatever prescription plan you're on. How will your health plan treat your condition? If you think about yourself as a POZ guy rather than a NEG guy (sort of let your mind wander there and see how you react to that notion); what do you suppose that will do to you?

If you do some site searching, there are some EXCELLENT threads here about living with HIV. Some have had a horrible time with it; some would be completely unaware were it not for the test result.

You can for now do your best to attempt serosorting; and lessen your chances. IMO, focusing on POZ Undetectable guys are probably less risky since they are purportedly on regular medications to control HIV. The dilemma with "neg" guys is that so many test so infrequently compared to sexual activity that any test result is invalid at the outset. But even guys like me who test every three months; really only get a snapshot (if I was infected two weeks ago, it will not show up except in one new, infrequently done, test). OTC OraQuik would not see that infection for about 2.5 more months; and during that time my ability to pass on HIV will be pretty much at my all time high (newly converted most virulent).

Bottom line, your friend gave you a good test and challenge. Natural BB sex comes with risks. You can choose to worry, or you can embrace it and deal with any consequences which might show up. If you've got incredible health coverage, you might start Truvada now as a preventative....

[rawTOP]

Here is the problem that I have. I really enjoyed it.... I mean I Really, Really enjoyed it. Now that I have had time to think about it, it was probably the best sex I have had in a long time. Plus, now I fantasize about it and the thought of letting other guys I don't know shoot a load up my hole constantly. I'm confused and I don't really know what to do? My dick and my head are not agreeing at all. My behavior is dangerous. I have already told my friend about how I feel now and he said I should go slow but follow my urges. I don't know. I'm sure he would love it if I would become more "Free" regarding raw sex, but I am still very scared. Unfortunately, unless I can force myself to change what I am obsessed with then I know I will do it again. I'm just afraid I will become Poz and it will be a big mistake. But how do you stop the feeling of wanting it when you know it is dangerous? That is where I am at right now.

You're a perfect candidate for PrEP (I'm on it). Talk to your doctor about it. If you're doctor doesn't deal with a lot of gay guys you'll probably have to educate him on it. There's a link to a document that explains PrEP to doctors on my website - print it out and give it to him/her if you think there may be an issue. If you have decent insurance the insurance will cover the cost.

Basically you'll take Truvada - an HIV med with very few side effects and it will be about as effective as a condom in preventing you from getting HIV (possibly more effective - but that study isn't complete yet). The only thing is it's really important that you take it every day - they'll probably do more studies to see if less-than-daily dosing is possible - but again those are studies that probably haven't even started yet. Once you're on PrEP you can explore your desire to be a cumdump for poz guys. You can live out the fantasy with minimal risk. Realize the risk isn't zero - but nothing in life that's worth doing is zero risk.

Now, the one caveat is that you're taking pretty powerful drugs and not having a lot of sex. So if I were you I'd probably wait until you really want to make your fantasy a reality and will actually go through with getting your ass out there to take anonymous loads on a regular basis.

[POZCuriousBoy]

Thanks JizzDumpWI and rawTOP for your help.

I don't get fucked that often, so right now I will just continue to play around with my friend and I can do more 3-ways with some of his other Buddies. I just talked with him tonight and he told me that he would never let anyone bb me that he knew was Poz. But he also warned me that it is still a risk since he or even his buddies can never be 100% certain they are neg. I understand that and I will continue to take that risk with him. He also told me that eventually I will probably want to take bigger risks with guys he doesn't know... and he is right. I know myself and I know I will, but right now I am okay with doing this. I do want to eventually explore being a cumdump and take loads on a regular basis, so PrEP will be perfect when I get to that point. I never even heard about it before, so Thanks. That is why I love this site, it provides so much info that I would have never known about.

I am not fooling myself, I know I will not stop barebacking, I just need to get over my fear and decide on what kind of risks I am willing to take. That is also why I am here. Talking to other barebackers, both neg and poz, really makes me feel more comfortable and hopefully will help me on my journey into taking raw loads.

[POZCuriousBoy]

I just wanted to give an update on my barebacking situation.

I spent Memorial day weekend with my fuckbuddy and finally took 2 poz loads from one of his friends. Since I had a long weekend off, my fuckbuddy and I decided to spend the weekend having fun and fucking. I didn't start the weekend seeking to take poz loads, but that is how it ended. That Friday night my friend fucked my ass raw like he always does and talked dirty to me about breeding my hole and made me beg for his cum. It was a blast. Afterwards he asked me if I was willing to have another 3 way again, even though the last one ended with drama. I said "yes" and that I trusted him and any guy he brought over to fuck me. So he chatted with some friends and made some plans for both of us that Saturday.

Saturday started off normal. We went to the beach, saw a movie, and went out to eat. Then around 7pm one of his friends came over. He was okay looking, not really my type. We had a 3-way, but his friend didn't cum in me, instead he shot his load in my mouth. It was definitely a let down, but at least I got a load from my friend in my ass. He left around 9:30pm, but since I was still horny and I don't get to have sex very often I wanted to keep going. My friend kept me on edge by playing with my cock and fingering my hole. He started poz dirty talking with me. Asking me if I wanted my hole bred, and then making me beg for a "dirty" poz load. He knew that was a HUGE turn on for me and I so wanted to cum, but he kept me on edge without cumming. Finally he just came out and asked me. "Do you want me to get one of my poz friends to breed you?" I was so horned up that I said "Yes". He stopped playing with me and went straight to his phone. He texted one of his buddies while I laid there thinking about what I just agreed to. When he came back, I told him that I changed my mind and how I didn't want to do it. He knew I was scared and nervous. He told me that if I decided not to do it then that is fine with him, but he wanted me to meet his friend anyway. I said okay. About a hour later his friend showed up. He was a stocky little cub with a goatee. I know he wouldn't be every guys fantasy, but he was definitely cute to me. We all chatted for a while and we talked about sex and HIV. He told me that he only barebacks and he doesn't pull out. I was so turned on that my cock was rock hard the whole time. He told me that he didn't want to have sex with me unless I really wanted it and knew the risks. After chatting with him and my friend for about an hour I decided to do it. I actually wanted him inside of me. Since my friend already fucked me earlier he decided just to watch me take my first poz load and jerk off. His buddy's dick was about 7 inches, so it was a perfect fit for me. I was so nervous. He was very verbal which is a huge turn on for me and made me beg for his "Death Stick" before he stuck it in me. I wanted it... I actually wanted it BAD! He fucked me hard in about every position. Then he told me to get on my back. He put his cock back into me and fucked me while looking into my eyes. He asked me if I wanted "it". I said "Yes". He told me that if I wanted it then he wanted to hear me beg for his toxic seed. I begged him, pleaded with him, then he said "Take my poz load you cum slut!" and shoved his cock deep inside of me and then held it there. It was so fucking HOT! He kept his cock in me and started kissing me. We made out until his cock went soft. My friend had jerked off and came all over his self. I still hadn't came yet, so his buddy began finger fucking my hole with 3 fingers until I shot my load. It was the BEST sex I have ever had. I mean it was the BEST! Afterwards we cleaned up and went into my friends living room and drank, relaxed, and watched some tv. Of course, I began to feel regret but I kept it to myself even though I was beginning to freak out inside. After a few beer, I began to feel a little better.

Sunday morning I woke up horny as hell, and all my regret and fear about catching HIV was over... mainly because I was horny. My friend fucked me then his buddy fucked me... and once again he finger fucked me until I came and telling me that he wanted to make sure that it took. My ass was totally sore after that. He left around noon. I started to dwell on my actions and started feeling regret again. My friend saw that I was worried. He told me that know matter what he would always be my friend and that he would always fuck me. (LOL) He also reminded me that seemed like I really enjoyed it and that it has been something that I have wanted for a long time. He was right and now that I have taken poz loads I know I will do it again.

It has been almost 2 weeks since I was fucked and I haven't gotten sick yet. How fast does the fuck flu take if you become poz? I don't have any regret about my decision even if I do test positive in the future. I don't know if I would call myself a chaser, but I won't discriminate against poz loads anymore.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

No guarantee you will convert. In fact if you were well lubed and not torn up the chance drops. Still, find and get comfortable with your local STD clinic. Even if you dont contract HIV there are plenty of other STI's out there you need to watch for.

Was your poz bud on meds? If he is, even less chance you will convert.

Welcome to brotherhood of guys like us who enjoy all cumloads.