Am I being ridiculous?

[bigdick4you]

I also read your other thread. Man, you're heading for a disaster IMHO. You have a long distance relationship with a guy in his 30s who is a student and still lives with his parents. You get jealous when he receives phone numbers from other guys when you are with him, yet you claim to have an open relationship. You lie to him about having hook-ups yourself until a few days later when you come clean with him. You're not satsfied about the sex with him as you apparently want it more often than he does. And he doesn't make you happy even though you care about him. In all fairness.... I think I was the one being ridiculous the other night.... He is just very social

I think (but that is just me!) that you should get out of that relationship. For you it is frustrating you do not get out of it what you want. You want to fuck around and claim to have an open -agreed- relationship, but when you tell him he gets upset. You obviously do not get all the sex you want with your BF. You feel guilty about having sex with other guys so you don't tell your BF until a few days later and then feel guilty.

You are simply not ready for a relationship in my opinion. Open or closed. Break off the relationship and agree to be just occasional fuckbuddies. Or just good friends. Be single and fuck around until you tired of that and really feel you want to settle down with a guy.

I understand your situation. Have been in it myself. Obviously me and BF split in the end.

In all fairness.... I think I was being ridiculous the other night as I was drunk and that can make me somewhat aggressive.... I could also tell he was not interested in the guy as he was not his type.... The thing is that he will talk to anyone.... Ugly or good looking.... Which is good thing in my book...I think problem lies a bit deeper... The connection is a bit gone.... Don't know if it's due to long distance or what....sometimes he can also bit offensive towards me.... Maybe u r right.... And I'm not ready to be in relationship.... But I know I like sharing my life with someone I care for and waking up together and having fun with that person.... In the beginning we had that.... I want that back...

[einathens]

are you making excuses for him or for yourself? stop wallowing in your unhappiness and move on.

[hole2use]

In all fairness.... I think I was being ridiculous the other night as I was drunk and that can make me somewhat aggressive.... I could also tell he was not interested in the guy as he was not his type.... The thing is that he will talk to anyone.... Ugly or good looking.... Which is good thing in my book...I think problem lies a bit deeper... The connection is a bit gone.... Don't know if it's due to long distance or what....sometimes he can also bit offensive towards me.... Maybe u r right.... And I'm not ready to be in relationship.... But I know I like sharing my life with someone I care for and waking up together and having fun with that person.... In the beginning we had that.... I want that back...

This thread gives me a headache. I'll be unsubscribed effective immediately upon posting this final comment.

Several of us have offered advice to which each and every time you've come back trying, not very effectively I might add, to defend your actions and your immature, leach of a boyfriend. So, to answer your question outright without offering any more advice...YES, YOU ARE BEING RIDICULOUS!

Dear Abby Out...for good!

[einathens]

yeah, i'm done with both of these threads too.

[asian87]

god damn fuck..... you sound exactly like my ex and almost the same situation i we were in as well. I hope you take the advices that those hot studs offered.

[AversiveSublime]

Not sure who will see this but feel like some things needs to be clarified here:

FIrst of all, in regards to the email thing, we were taking pictures as YOU requested we do, you told me to ask them to take one, which I did and then I offered to do the same for them and then email it to him. I used my "your nothing to me" email address to do this which I rarely if ever check or take seriously and he was NOT attractive enough to even have a one night stand with.

Secondly, you know I live with my parents while I am going to school full time to help take care of my dad and the house because they are both elderly and while they can manage on their own they do need help at times like this last week and half where my mother had laser eye surgery and my dad has been in the hospital and had kidney stones removed from his bladder. Sorry if that puts a damper on my mood to have sex but as my boyfriend and being that we are in an open relationship and you DO partake in sexual encounters with others regardless of whether we are together or not, I don't really see that as a huge problem.

Thirdly, in regards to you feeling as if you have to "ask" for sex, you have based our entire relationship on the pretense that I am some 24 hour a day seven day a week gang bang whore because of one experience with Rawtop. I don't regret the experience but it was just that, AN EXPERIENCE, and something I didn't mind sharing here because I think there are a lot of guys curious about what its like and its good for us as a community to share our wisdom and experience.

Going to stop counting off points now and just get into the meat of this topic:

I have embraced our open relationship, I prefer it, because I know I cannot be the always ready to get fucked bottom you seem to think I am. I have said from the beginning that I have top tendencies too and was ok with you not being willing to try that with me, though you tell me all the time you would bottom for someone you love, so that leads me to believe you are kind of full of shit when you tell me you love me and then say you won't do it. Yes, you tried that one time for literally two seconds but then stopped it and it was a huge turnoff. Its a continual turn off to hear you say the above mentioned line of crud because its a mixed signal and confusing and basically just seems like a line. As for you feeling like you need to "ask me for sex and I don't intiiate it myself" WHEN DO I HAVE THE FUCKING TIME TO DO THAT? The minute we get into a room or a place with little or no people you turn into a freaking octopuss and I feel like there is no other reason that I am even there.

When we go out and start to have a good time and be social, something that is harmless and should be fun you go out of your way to sabotage that with drama, i.e.; being standoffish to questions, groping the guy standing next to me in line that I was idly chatting with while waiting for a drink, making conversation with the ugliest people in the bar as if it was my suggestion and so on. You go out of your way to be embarrassing and off puting to people. Then you apologize and promise to not do it again and expect that to roll immediately into a sexcapade.

Even when we first met and were planning to recreate to some extend the group scene I had and posted aboutyou ignored my requests to NOT invite guys over that I agreed to meet. You recall that I backed out of our first meeting which was supposed to be a one time gang bang because you invited EVERYONE on the list, even when I said a few of them are not cool. Then you went on to find other bottoms and carry on. You fed me some shit about wanting to meet anways, no strings or pressures attached and we seemed to hit it off on a deeper level than just sex. We tried the group thing but you managed to offend someone and then they told everyone else not to go or had their own party or whatever so only one guy showed up. If you had simply stuck to the game plan things would have gone totally differently.

Then in palm springs, the same thing, you started inviting guys over and THEN showing me who was coming. NOT COOL. Not what we planned and ultimately the beginning of the end of my desire to do the group thing with you. So we modified our relationship to play together alone with the option to play seperately. Something I did maybe twice while we were together. The three or four times we were split up I did meet guys but we weren't together and I told you about EVERY ONE of them (in a basic fashion as I don't think pictures or screennames should be shared unless we are meeting that person together).

All I ever asked from you was for you to be OPEN with what you. When I ask you "what did you do this week or day" all I expected you to say was the truth: "I had dinner with friends then fucked this slut yadda yadda yadda" Simple! Easy. No drama. "OK, cool" if I needed to know more I would have asked but I most likely wouldn't. It was only when I KNEW you met someone and then tried to hide it that it pissed me off because I destest being lied to. I have told you that from the start. I can respect a hurtful truth easier than a blatent lie.

Yet, it continues to be a cycle of all this shit. You see my being social as an attempt to hook up when all it is me being social and blowing off some steam with my boyfriend. If we had one good night without the drama escapades maybe I would be more sexual, but frankly that is a huge turnoff when I am stressed out from my bf being a total jackass for no reason. I don't know how else to get this through to you. I have said a number of times eventually I am just going to give up and walk away because its just not sinking in. We also discussed keeping stuff like this off the social sites and then a day later you are on here with these threads... What am I suppose to think, say or do? You want me to trust you but you give me every reason NOT to. Its depressing.

You are jealous of nothing. I am a boring homebody that doesn't have many friends but used to have lots and just needs some mild social interactions that are drama free. Its one thing if you don't want to do that but then you stand in the way of me doing it outside of AZ at every turn it seems. You tell me you want me to move in and take care of me but then paint me as a leach here. Make up your mind! I honestly am fearful of living with you because I think our days would be filled with needless drama and then it will interfere with my studies and writing. My days consist of text endlessly with you about the same issues all day long when I am not dealing with some drama with my parents. How am I supposed to live any kind of life while you three play tug of war with my heart and mind??? I care for you, I really do, but this is the opposite of being a supportive boyfriend, in the slightest sense of the word. I just don't know why we continue to go in this circle of foolishness. I am trying my best to be good to you and make time for you. I spent pretty much a whole week straight with you while my dad in the hospital. Do you think that makes me feel sexual and good about myself?? And on top of that, I have to read here how shitty you think I am? Come on man...! Really?