bigdick4you Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 Been in long distance open relationship for almost year now....the thing is that I don't always tell my bf the truth straight away.... Although there is no apparent reason not to do it....like other day he was away for couple of hrs and I asked him if it was ok for me to hook with someone via gay hook up site.... He told me he didn't mind....I hooked up with someone and when he asked me I I had.... I told him no for no apparent reason.... Few days later I came clean... He was upset and told me that was why he didn't trust me as it had happened before...truth of the matter is that I always come clean few days later or when he asks me about it...I find it strange that I can't be open about it straight away..... What do u guys think?
einathens Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 is this the same long distance open relationship as the one witn the 36yo student who lives with his parents? the relationship with the drinking and jealousy? in the other thread it sounds like he's an immature jerk. this one makes it clear you're no prize pig either. i'm not sure if you two should run from each other as fast as you can or if you deserve each other. karma's a bitch, dude, and you have no room to complain.
bbjoca Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 Well, I do the same thing... I usually say no. > But then again I don't come clean... And, the jealousy of the other person doesn't have anything to do with that. Those are two separate things.
bigdick4you Posted May 22, 2013 Author Report Posted May 22, 2013 is this the same long distance open relationship as the one witn the 36yo student who lives with his parents? the relationship with the drinking and jealousy? in the other thread it sounds like he's an immature jerk. this one makes it clear you're no prize pig either. i'm not sure if you two should run from each other as fast as you can or if you deserve each same karma's a bitch, dude, and you have no room to complain. Yes.... It is same guy....we probably should not be together for obvious reasons.... But what if it's due to the long distance? I think I might have over dramatised things the other day as he was being social.... Something that sometimes I'm not when we go out together.... Think that it has a lot to do with how he makes me feel.... In the beginning.... He was this really sweet guy.... I find he has changed somewhat.... I always Try to c the good in people I care for...can understand that he has trouble with me not being honest straight away...he also has problems when I go on hook up sites and I don't mention anything.... But I just think is that really necessary? It went from having fun together and with others with him lecturing me that I have too much sex and spend too much time on hook up sites and me always initiating sex...
einathens Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 distance has nothing to do with the way you are when you're together. he eggs you on, he doesn't put out enough, you lie to him, he's no longer sweet, he offends you, he lectures you, you no longer enjoy being with him... stop looking for excuses to stay with him. you're asking for permission to leave, and now you've got it. quit whining, quit procrastinating. leave him. block his number and email address. work on yourself for a long while. you need it.
smslut Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 Been in long distance open relationship for almost year now....the thing is that I don't always tell my bf the truth straight away.... Although there is no apparent reason not to do it....like other day he was away for couple of hrs and I asked him if it was ok for me to hook with someone via gay hook up site.... He told me he didn't mind....I hooked up with someone and when he asked me I I had.... I told him no for no apparent reason.... Few days later I came clean... He was upset and told me that was why he didn't trust me as it had happened before...truth of the matter is that I always come clean few days later or when he asks me about it...I find it strange that I can't be open about it straight away..... What do u guys think? Why do you think he doesn't trust you? Why don't you feel sharing the truth with him right away? Do you think that was misleading or not at all? is there a fear for not admitting right away? how serious is this relationship?
bigdick4you Posted May 22, 2013 Author Report Posted May 22, 2013 Why do you think he doesn't trust you?Why don't you feel sharing the truth with him right away? Do you think that was misleading or not at all? is there a fear for not admitting right away? how serious is this relationship? I think he feels disappointed in me everytime I'm not completely honest... It's pure stupidity really as I know that it won't matter.... I think it's more shame from my part... The fear would be maybe that he thinks less of me... I'm very much in love with him.... But feel that things should improve...
Btm! Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 I think any kind of relationship - 'open' or otherwise - can work, so long as it is honest. You need to try and get over this and just be honest right away. Constantly lying to him and then changing your mind about what the truth is - especially when there is no reason to lie - is going to grow very tiresome, very quickly. He will end up not trusting you at all, even when you are telling the truth, and that would be a real shame.
Guest JizzDumpWI Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 distance has nothing to do with the way you are when you're together. he eggs you on, he doesn't put out enough, you lie to him, he's no longer sweet, he offends you, he lectures you, you no longer enjoy being with him...stop looking for excuses to stay with him. you're asking for permission to leave, and now you've got it. quit whining, quit procrastinating. leave him. block his number and email address. work on yourself for a long while. you need it. bigdick4you; I agree completely with einathens. For openers, it is time to END this relationship. But more than that, what I think both "e" and I would prescribe for you is a full year of NO RELATIONSHIP. Well, not completely true; no relationship except the one you then develop with yourself. Get clear on your own boundaries, goals, rhythm's. When you ache for a relationship rather than give into that ache, explore yourself and find out what that ache is all about. At a point you'll be ready to get into a relationship and deal frankly from your own self confidence; and own respect for yourself. You'll quickly know then if any relationship you enter becomes bad for you; and you'll know enough to end it; with your own rational thinking on why.
smslut Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 I think he feels disappointed in me everytime I'm not completely honest...It's pure stupidity really as I know that it won't matter.... I think it's more shame from my part... The fear would be maybe that he thinks less of me... I'm very much in love with him.... But feel that things should improve... Have you two met? Or talked on the phone? How does he sound when you talk? Happy or excited? Has he told you if he loves you? how committed do you feel he is in this relationship? (I used to be in one similar to this, so I'd rather not give my opinions as they are usually mine.) Why do you feel shameful? The lying or about yourself in general? What makes you feel that he would think less of yourself? Finally, how do you know for certain that you truly love him? (I know it's possible)
Guest JizzDumpWI Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 The direct answer to your question "is this lying?" is YES. Pretty much if you ask that you already have your answer. Now other guys will engage you not understanding the history of your posts here all about the same guy. It is long past time for you to end it. You wont, but it is time....
Pig Bottom Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 Is lying lying? Yes. Is lying stupid when you have no reason to lie? Hell Yes.
fillmyhole Posted May 22, 2013 Report Posted May 22, 2013 personally I find the whole "relationship" with gay men strange. Most are not monogamous, so why bother and put yourself thru it, an open relationship is nothing more than living with a roomate or fuck buddy you occassionally sleep with
einathens Posted May 23, 2013 Report Posted May 23, 2013 i am over this nonsense and done with this thread.
hole2use Posted May 23, 2013 Report Posted May 23, 2013 Been in long distance open relationship for almost year now....the thing is that I don't always tell my bf the truth straight away.... Although there is no apparent reason not to do it....like other day he was away for couple of hrs and I asked him if it was ok for me to hook with someone via gay hook up site.... He told me he didn't mind....I hooked up with someone and when he asked me I I had.... I told him no for no apparent reason.... Few days later I came clean... He was upset and told me that was why he didn't trust me as it had happened before...truth of the matter is that I always come clean few days later or when he asks me about it...I find it strange that I can't be open about it straight away..... What do u guys think? Wow dude! You really are a dumb-mother fucking idiot. Can people be banned based on pure ignorance? If so, this douche is the best candidate I've seen so far. Ridiculous AND a liar (for no reason)...wow...you're a real catch! I'd be nervous too if I was ridiculously lying and my boyfriend was getting numbers from other dudes. If he has any sense he'll be dumping your sorry ass soon.
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