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Autobiography of a Sadistic Antebellum Slave Owner


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January 5th, 1821

My name is Tom Calhoun, 2nd son of Robert Calhoun III of Charleston South Carolina. I've decided to chronicle aspects of my life and store them away in a secure place in the hopes that they're found 100 or more years in the future. Many of my friends and family would be embarrassed and shamed by what I'm about to write. But I feel it is important to write these events down so when people look back at life in the South in the early 1800s, they can see things weren't as clean, neat and tidy as the official historians would leave you to believe.

If you know anything about Charleston in this era, then you've probably heard of my father. Our family is one of the most powerful families in Charleston. There's a code of conduct families like ours have to live by. My older brother Robert (the 4th) has to carry on the family name. While he will get the bulk of my father's estate, in a way I'm glad I'm not my brother. Being the second son affords me much more latitude. Families like ours are in many ways untouchable. We can do pretty much what we want - the only issue is getting caught. Paying off the police, etc. can be expensive not to mention the embarrassment to the family. But beyond that I can do pretty much anything I want as long as I do it with discretion. Legalities really aren't an issue for me.

All the children in our family are given slaves at birth. Our first slave is a nanny who tends to our needs night and day until we move out and establish homes of our own. In addition to the nanny, around age 9, each of the children in our family are given a slave that's within a year of our age. These slaves are our constant companions but they also fulfill the role of "whipping boy". Children from prominent families are never disciplined, so when when my siblings and and I do something wrong our slaves are disciplined instead.

In theory our close relationship with our slaves is supposed to make us not want to see them get disciplined, but that's never really been the case with me. I've always been a bit of a rebel who did whatever I wanted to do. In order to tame me my father actually gave me my whipping boy before my 8th birthday. But as you'll see - the gift didn't have the intended effect.

Because our slaves were such close companions my family only bought the best and most attractive slaves for their children. My slave was Jeremiah - a medium complexion boy with beautiful features who was a month or two older than me. But with him my rebellious streak turned into a sadistic streak. Having him was supposed to tame my behavior, but I still felt like doing whatever I wanted. It wasn't long before Jeremiah was getting caned and belted because I had done something wrong. At first I thought it was sorta funny, so I'd do stuff knowing my parents would catch me just because I wanted to see Jeremiah get punished. After about a year I realized I actually enjoyed seeing him in pain. One day, after he'd been punished for something, I took him to my room, made him pull down his pants and I continued caning his ass. I felt this power surge through me as each strike with the cane left another mark on his bare butt. I realized Jeremiah wasn't a friend - he was something I owned and could use as I saw fit. After all, I was white and rich and he was a nigger. That became a regular thing. At first I would just punish him after my parents punished him, then I actually started behaving (as far as my parents knew) because I wanted to be the only one inflicting pain on Jeremiah. Over time I hit harder and harder and became more and more brutal.

At one point a year or so later after I had gotten particularly brutal Jeremiah couldn't take it and he ran off in the middle of the night. He got caught and brought back to me. The abuse he got for running away was even more severe than what I dished out to him. The doctor said some ribs had been cracked during his beating. From that time on I was permitted to shackle him every night to make sure he didn't run away. I even made him sleep on the hard floor. But after running away and getting beaten within an inch of his life Jeremiah learned his lesson. That experience broke him and he figured out that his lot in life was to endure the abuse I dished out.

The beatings I used to give Jeremiah were initially aimed at his bare ass which meant they had a sexual nature to them. As an 10 year old I didn't quite understand what I felt, but I knew I liked seeing nigger asses - especially ones that were getting abused. But one complication was when Jeremiah was stripped down I saw his dick. Even at 10 years old his dick was considerably bigger than mine. I didn't like that - something in me told me that gave Jeremiah power over me so I used to try to inflict pain on his cock. I'd put it close to a candle so it would start to burn, I'd hit it with anything I could find, I'd even cut it until it bled. Prior to running away when I abused Jeremiah's cock it would always get smaller. But after he had been broken I noticed a change. When I tortured his dick he would get hard. I didn't quite know what to think, but I knew it wasn't good.

Then one night when I was 11 I was sneaking around the barn when I heard some noises from a storeroom that I thought no one used. I peaked in and saw my father getting a blowjob from a really beautiful female slave I'd never seen before. Luckily they couldn't see me, but I had this incredible view of my dad's hard cock going in and out of her mouth. Then he had her get on her hands and knees and he started fucking her. Being a kid that didn't understand female anatomy I thought he was fucking her ass. He may have been, or he may have been fucking her cunt - who knows. But that was the point when I realized what hard dicks were for - guys used them to show domination.

I started emulating what I saw my father doing - I'd get Jeremiah in a private place and make him suck my cock and then I would fuck him. He would get hard when I fucked him, so I started binding his dick with wire so it would be painful when he got hard. That became pretty much our daily routine - I would beat him (since that was still pretty fun), and then I'd fuck him. That went on for quite a few years. In fact I had my first orgasm when I was fucking him. A couple hours later he told me "'Massa, something's leaking of my ass." I was worried he had the runs, but then a brownish white fluid came out. Eventually I figured out what cum was and where it came from. I liked the idea that I could blow a load in him - it felt even more powerful than fucking him.

Like many of the rich families in Charleston our family had a plantation out in the country. It was mostly a cotton plantation, but we also had some beef cattle. I used to like watching the cows get branded - there was something special about seeing flesh sizzle on a live animal. When I was 17 a thought crossed my mind - why not brand Jeremiah? After all, I did own him, and he had gotten away once. With a brand he'd always be marked as my property. About that time my little sister's horse got stolen. I had a blacksmith come up a small brand that had my initials. I told the blacksmith I wanted to brand my horse in case someone stole it. I did brand the horse (an nearly got kicked hard in the process), but that was just the cover for the real purpose of the branding iron - to brand Jeremiah.

A few days later I got Jeremiah alone and tied him down. By now he was used to the beatings so he was wondering why I was tying him down. Then he saw me put the brand in the fire. He started freaking out. I mean what I put him through on a regular basis is painful, but getting branded by something that just came out of a fire is taking things up several notches. By the time the branding iron was hot he had resigned himself to the pain - but he still begged me not to do it. That only made me want to brand him more. I took the red hot branding iron out of the fire and pressed it gently but firmly into his skin on his left pectoral. He screamed out in pain like I'd never heard him scream. But then a moment later I pulled back the iron, the pain subsided ever so slightly, but he was still in incredible pain. Seeing him in pain made me hard, so while he was still writhing in pain I put his legs up in the air and fucked him. Blew a particularly big load in in him too!

I knew enough to know to not get the wound infected, but at the same time I wanted to play mind games with him. I had gotten some sand that I had sterilized by putting it through the fire. I started sprinkling it on the fresh wound and then tracing my finger over the burnt flesh. That made him scream even more, which got me hard again, so I stuck my dick back in his cum-filled hole. Every time I rubbed my finger over his burnt flesh he'd scream and his ass would tighten up. It felt great on my dick, so I kept it up until I blew a second load in him. Jeremiah's pain was my pleasure. In fact for a about a week afterwards I'd do the same thing once or twice a day - abrade the wound and rub sand into it while fucking him. What was interesting was that the sand increased the scarification and made the brand more noticeable.

Word got out within my family that I had branded Jeremiah. They knew my sadistic streak was increasing which worried some of them. My father sat me down and told me that it seemed I had a bit of my grandfather in me. I knew my grandfather was a difficult man, but apparently he had been really sadistic in his day. It was part of the reason why he became so wealthy - people feared him - he was a nice southern gentlemen until you crossed him. Then something would happen to you that could never be traced back to my grandfather, but people knew it was him. Southerners are good at smiling in someone's face while stabbing them in the back - my grandfather raised it to an art form. My father made it clear that I needed to be discreet. I could do what I wanted behind closed doors, but outwardly I needed to keep up appearances. He also told me something that shocked me - that Jeremiah was my half brother. Apparently that woman I saw my dad fucking was Jeremiah's mother. I think Dad told me in hopes that I'd take it a little easier on Jeremiah, but it just meant that every time I was upset with my Dad I had a reason now to take it out on Jeremiah.

The other thing Dad told me was that I was getting my own house for my 18th birthday. Usually the men in my family had to wait until 21 to be given a house, but the family was worried that I was getting out of control and so they wanted to separate from me a bit. The house they gave me was specially suited for me. It was on an extra big lot which gave it more privacy than most houses.

Being given that house changed my life, but more about that in my next letter...

- Tom Calhoun

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March 3rd, 1821

While my house was being renovated for my use, my uncle Grady (my father's brother) sat me down and had a chat with me. He was always a bit of a mysterious figure in our family. He attended just enough of the social events to be known, but generally kept to himself and almost no one talked about him. When his name came up the conversation would always change to another topic pretty quickly. As a result I didn't know him well at all. All I knew was he had never married. When we sat down, his first question to me was rather abrupt - "I've noticed you've never taken a girl out to any of the social functions and now I hear you've branded your slave. Are you fucking him as well?" I stammered for a moment - polite people in good society don't ask questions like that. I didn't really know how to respond. All I could think to say was "He's my slave. I do whatever I feel like with him." My uncle grinned. "Good, so what I've heard is true - you do like fucking nigger boys. Now that you're setting up your own house there are a few things I can tel you that your father wouldn't let me tell you before. But your father now thinks it might be a good idea if I keep a watch on you as you move into your own house. There's a small group of us who are like you. We're all wealthy, unmarried, and like our slaves male and dark. We're getting together on Friday. Why don't you come? Oh, make sure you bring Jeremiah…" Dumbfounded I just nodded and then my uncle continued "Which reminds me - you have figured out how to clean out his ass, right? Make sure he's squeaky clean for Friday."

Friday came and I took Jeremiah to my uncle's house as arranged. The house seemed completely dark and uninhabited from the outside, but when the door opened I realized it was just that the curtains had been drawn. There was my uncle, two other white men I had only ever seen briefly before, and a dozen or so male slaves all of whom were stark naked, many of them had hard cocks. As soon as we walked through the door Jeremiah's clothes were ripped off him and he was pushed hard so he felt flat onto the floor. One of the slaves barked "Stay there" to Jeremiah as my uncle asked me - "You like it when Jeremiah is abused, right?" A grin grew across my face - "What do you have in mind?" "Just watch" my uncle replied.

Right about then a huge, muscular slave stepped forward. He had the biggest dick I could imagine - it looked like it was 13" and really thick. It was so big it looked like a third leg. He got down on the floor and shoved that rock hard monster up Jeremiah's ass in one fell swoop. Jeremiah screamed out in pain - the big dicked top hadn't used lube. The top banged Jeremiah's ass HARD. And with Jeremiah on a hard floor the fuck was far more brutal than how I fucked Jeremiah. 10 minutes later the top bellowed out what I can only describe as a roar as he came inside Jeremiah's ass. When he pulled off Jeremiah's ass was a bloody, cummy mess.

Many of the other slaves were circling in ready to fuck Jeremiah. My uncle stepped forward and pointed to the slave with the next biggest dick - probably 12". "Lay on your back on the floor". Then he kicked Jeremiah and said "Get up and sit on that dick." Then he turned to another slave that also had a pretty big dick and said "Get behind him and double fuck him". Jeremiah turned to me and I could see his lips move but no sound came out "Two dicks?" The second dick went in and Jeremiah screamed out in pain. My uncle walked over to me and said "The second slave may not have the biggest dick, but he's a rather brutal top - I thought you might like that".

My own dick had been pretty hard watching the first top fuck Jeremiah, but I nearly came without touching myself when I saw him get double fucked. I had to turn away and think non-sexual thoughts. My uncle noticed and he asked "Would you like to fuck your nigger now?" I said "Yes uncle, I need to blow a load to be able to watch this without spontaneously cumming." Right then the second top grunted and came in Jeremiah's hole. My uncle motioned for the other slaves to step aside and I unbuttoned my pants and stepped forward and shoved my dick in next to the huge big black cock of the slave who was still lying on his back. I had never double fucked Jeremiah before - the feeling was incredible - his hole was so tight. About 10 strokes later I was blowing a huge load up Jeremiah's ass.

Over the next half hour each of the slaves stepped forward and fucked Jeremiah for a few minutes before blowing their loads. Or should I say double fucked him since the top with the big dick was still under him? Apparently that particular slave can stay hard for hours and in a double fuck scenario like that he'll cum multiple times in a session.

When all the slaves had dumped their load in Jeremiah we retired to the parlor with 4 of the slaves while Jeremiah endured round two (and in some cases three and four) with the remaining slaves. Three of the slaves that came with us got on all fours in front of our chairs and acted as footstools. One of the white men told his "footstool" to massage his feet. I figured I'd ask my footstool to do the same. It was a new experience for me - I liked it especially when he started licking between my toes - it was like he was giving my fee a blowjob. The fourth slave was a regal, older slave - he acted as bartender and got us the drinks of our choosing.

I hadn't been properly introduced to the other two white gentlemen but now that we were alone I was told their names were Charles and Vernon. I had seen them out at big social functions, but hadn't ever spent time with them. My uncle then walked me through what I just saw. "The three of us come from wealthy families. We're not interested in women, children or families. We've learned over the years that we like negro men. You and I are alike - we're both rather sadistic tops - we must have gotten that trait from my father. Charles also likes fucking his male slaves, but he's a bit more romantic / tender in how he treats 'his boys'. The slaves here in the room with us are his - they're usually bottoms so fucking your nigger isn't really all that big of a turn on for them. Vernon, on the other hand, wishes he were in Jeremiah's place right now. He loves getting gangbanged by big nigger dicks."

I had a million questions for the men - all of which they answered patiently. Yes, there were a few other men in Charleston like us. (You could identify them because they were always single, had their own homes, and all their slaves were male.) No, Vernon isn't weird for liking to be abused. I found out about a prominent judge in the city that went weekly to a whore house to get dominated by a woman - Vernon's desires are essentially the same as the judge's it's just there aren't whorehouses that offered big black dicks. But the most important thing I learned that evening was that choosing the slaves for my household was critically important. While Jeremiah had been broken, there were niggers who actually liked abuse - and in many ways they were better than slaves like Jeremiah. Luckily Uncle Grady and his friends were going to help me pick out the other slaves for my house. My mind started racing - I was going to be alone in a house with a group of slaves that could service me sexually 24-hours a day (minus the time when I was engaged in "legitimate" social functions). My life could revolve around sex - what more could an 18 year old desire?

When the slaves were done with Jeremiah's ass there was a knock on the door and one of them asked my uncle what they should do with him. "Bring him in here" my uncle replied. When they did Jeremiah just curled up in the fetal position. There was a pinkish mixture oozing out of his ass. My uncle kicked Jeremiah and told him to go over to me and present his ass to me. Jeremiah wasn't quite sure what to, but my uncle just forced him into position in front of me - ass up and face down. My uncle then turned to me and said "Fuck him again. The other slave said he has 35 loads in his ass including yours from earlier. It will feel incredible to fuck him right now - like your cock is encased in silk." I unbuttoned my pants and went to fuck him, but my uncle stopped me. "You don't want to get that mix on your clothes. Best if you strip all the way down." I looked concerned - but my uncle reassured me "Don't worry - we see each other naked all the time." At which point my uncle and the other slave owners took off their clothes so I wouldn't feel so alone in my nakedness.

My uncle was right - fucking an ass with that much cum in it was incredible. I didn't want it to stop. But eventually the senses overtook me and I added another load to the mix. #36.

When I pulled out Vernon looked at me and sheepishly said "May I?" I didn't know what he was planning - as far as I knew he didn't fuck niggers. But he got down behind Jeremiah and started licking all the bloody cum off his ass. When it was all licked clean he started sucking on Jeremiah's ass. Occasionally he would look up with a big grin on his face and open his mouth and show that he had a mouthful of cum. Charles' older, regal slave must have seen his Vernon do this before. While Vernon was felching Jeremiah's butt the slave started jacking his dick. Then Vernon stood up, spit out some of the bloody cum and worked it all over the slave's hard cock. Then he bent over and the slave shoved into him in one smooth stroke. Vernon was in ecstasy. I started to understand that fucking wasn't always about inflicting pain - that the bottom could be in control of the situation and in total bliss. (Jeremiah had only just tolerated my fucking him - I hadn't seen someone enjoy getting fucked before). There was clearly a lot I had to learn - luckily I had some good mentors.

My uncle and Charles fucked Jeremiah who then had 38 loads in him (minus the ones Vernon felched out). It was time to go home. When Jeremiah and I got home I put him in my bed and chained him to the headboard. Usually he slept on the floor, but his ass felt too good with all that cum in it. I must have fucked him a half dozen times that night. It was the beginning of a new life for me - one that revolved around fucking negro ass.

- Tom Calhoun

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