Why doesn't he want to give me his load?

[VersatileBreeder]

I can't understand it either but just another slim possibility springs to mind. Logic aside, it might be that he doesn't want to have any risk of being accused of infecting you, by cumming in you, if you were to become poz? Just a thought. Asking him 'out of curiosity' should be fine, he sounds quite a direct and to the point sort of guy. Good luck.

slowfuck, that is a possibility. I didn't really think of that. He knows that I do take loads, but I only do so occasionally (I wouldn't just be ass up waiting for any top to dump a load in me). If that were to happen (me getting infected), I hope he knows that I would not pin the blame on him or anyone else for that matter, at the end of the day, my health is my own responsibility. Maybe I need to talk with him about that.

[VersatileBreeder]

I'm gonna go out on a limb here but I'm gonna try thinking from his point of view here:

If I'm a straight/bi married guy, with kids (who would, arguably, be *****'s spawn) and I'm 50 years old the one reason I'd have for not wanting to cum in a guy is because:

1. I'd be scared that he could collect it and prove that it's MY cum and use that proof to turn my family against me if he fell for me

2. Because I may be carrying something that I don't want others to know of

3. If I said "Nah, I don't mess around like that" that could be because of the two factors mentioned above AND/OR because I suspect I have something that I'm not sure of aand don't WANT to be sure of because I'm scared of getting tested.

Bearbandit- the guy's bi and he knows he'd be losing his family. I don't think the emotional connectivity part matters much. I think it's something much more selfish.

HMR89, what is interesting about your response is... Out of the three, I find #1 to be the most far-fetched, yet in this situation, it is the one that actually would make the most sense. #2 and #3 I am not worried about with him. Now, don't think that means that I'm naive enough to think that it's impossible that he or any guy who might fuck me is surely neg and disease-free just because they say they are. I KNOW that there are guys that don't know (or don't care) about their status and that there are guys who also lie. I try my best to have as good of a talk with any guy I meet to mitigate these risks, but with this guy in particular, all evidence points to him truly being disease-free and neg. HE was asking me the 21 questions about my health and status before we started playing around because he couldn't bring anything home to his wife. HE was the one who insisted on wearing condoms on our first few encounters.

Now, back to your #1 about how it's possible he could be scared I could collect it and prove its his cum and use it as proof to turn his family against him if I fell for him... Well, that sounds a little far-fetched, but lets face it, some people have far-fetched thoughts and fears. Reading that made me recall that the first two times we met, he took the used condoms with him. A bit odd, since he could have just trashed them where we were. But he took them. Then the third time, when he came in my mouth, as soon as he was done, he told me to spit it out in the sink. I mean, what difference if I would have swallowed it? What did he think I was going to do with it, spit it into a test tube and take it home with me to plot something evil later on him? It definitely is a bit odd and to the normal person, irrational, but seeing the history with him, it surely is a possibility.

[VersatileBreeder]

Really no use wondering unless you ask him or he tells you, and honestly, sometimes that kind of discussion or information can be enough to kill the mood if he's on the fence.

If I were you, next time I'd just play as usual, maybe even wait to see if he rubbers up the first time. Either way, remind him how much better it felt (no need to mention better for your or for him) without the rubber. Once he's worked his way a bit toward cumming, just start asking for the load. Please and thank you are the magic words.

Deaner, yeah next time, I am just gonna follow his lead and see where it goes. I know from my past experiences, especially when I used to play safe all the time with guys, there were a few that I met a few repeat times and each time, I was able to feel a little more comfortable and a let myself be a little more uninhibited with them. Perfect example was a married 41 year old guy with a monster thick rock hard cock and extremely dominant manner in bed. The first time, I insisted on condoms for him to fuck me. The second time, I still insisted on condoms, but halfway into the fucking, let him go raw as long as he didn't cum in me. The third and fourth time, he was allowed to fuck me raw, but no cumming inside. Finally, by the fifth time and beyond, I was letting him breed me 3 times or more each time we met. So maybe it will just take time for him to become a little more uninhibited with me.

[HMR89]

I was just suggesting his mindset could have been such. I wasn't advocating for or against him I'm listing these for you. Bisexual/gay men who are married and love their families do have irrational fears. We've all seen such people. Yes, he may have made such suggestions but then, you'd know how he is seeing as how you've dealt with him.

Plus, you just said that he made you use used condoms, etc. It may be irrational but it's definitely a possibility. And from what you've stated I think it's a very likely one. I'm not trying to prove to you how far-fetched his fears may be- I'm trying to think from HIS point of view and from HIS point of view the fear, perhaps far-fetched, is one that I would have had if I were in the same position as him.

[VersatileBreeder]

My completely different take on it is this: He is 'bi'. They say once a player always a player. So if he's spent years getting nookie on the side, maybe a lot were women. Maybe mostly women.

With women, he'd have years of stimulus-response conditioning. Cum inside, you might get her pregnant. Cum inside, you might get her pregnant. Cum inside, you might get her pregnant. At very minimum, cum inside a woman, and you give up the power of birth control to her. And I bet (conjecture I know) that for women, even more so than for gay men, having a man cum inside is a crossed line, a hook in him so to speak.

As a 50 yo myself, I know behaviors repeated over and over for decades do start getting etched in. I think it's not so homo-HIV-centric as the other theories. I think he's conditioned to retain his power by not cumming inside, to lowering the risk to his family life by not cumming inside, and to maintain proper sexual-affair-not-emotional-affair distance by not cumming inside.

At age 50, it amazes me how often when I am nice, cordial, routinely polite to someone female out in public, at stores, wherever, that she'll give me a "humph" sneer and turn away like I was trying to flirt. Ha ha - AS IF! It makes me wonder if his pool of women sex possibilities is shrinking fast since most women who'd fuckbud a 50yo could just as easily get a 30yo. While his pool of men is - hot "straight" top daddy (?!) - I imagine bigger than ever.

eightndeep, you bring another interesting point I did not think of. This behavior conditioning you speak of might be an issue for him. But the thing that throws me about your point is this... I'm not a woman. He can't get me pregnant. If he shoots his cum inside me, there is absolutely 0.00000% chance that I will be calling him up in 3 months saying, "Ummm, I'm pregnant and it's yours..." He knows all this. So, shouldn't all that allow him to get away from that conditioning? Maybe even allow him to get "a break?" If I were in his shoes and I messed around mostly with women and knew I had to either wrap it up, make sure she's on the pill or at the very least pull out to avoid a girl on the side getting pregnant and destroying my family life, then I would find it to be a total fucking treat to be able to drive that seed home inside a guy's ass and get that breeding satisfaction without the worry. Just a thought.

But to your next point, I will throw that at him next time he is fucking me. When I can feel the fucking getting heated up, I will say something like, "just cum in me man." If he still refuses to, but doesn't give me a reason why not, I'll add, "dude, you can't get me pregnant. What's the worry?" And see what he says to that. Thanks for your response.

[NastySlamPigLA]

Don't over think this. Just ask him for it. Plain & simple.

Right before he's about to start fucking you say something like "You're going to cum in me, right?" Have a big grin on your face when you say it.

The good news is after you get him to unload in you once, he'll be hooked forever

[open_hole_24_7 Lion]

sounds like the line a friend uses when stelthing.

Wow, sounds pretty crazy. I try to steer clear of guys with drug issues. I once met a guy who was pretty hot, he wanted to fuck me. We started messing around, a little foreplay, and then he wanted to do some coke to "get the party started." I told him sorry but I just wasn't really interested anymore. As for the possibility that this particular guy might be poz and might be withholding his load to not infect me, I have no worries about that. Of course, there is always a possibility that guys lie and he could be lying about his neg status, but with him, all evidence points to him truly being neg. When we first met, even when we were using a condom, he asked me about three times if I was absolutely sure I was neg and disease-free because he could not bring anything home to his wife, that it would ruin his life if he did. Also, before he left after his first time, he told me to please be careful with what I do with guys. I assured him that I don't bareback with everyone and those I do bareback with, I do take risk-mitigating measures. So I am not really worried with him being poz as the reason for him not wanting to cum inside me.

[fuckboy20]

This is just one of the issues that's dealt with when dealing with married, bi, straight, or curious guys. I have nothing against guys like this as I've fucked and been fucked by married and straight guys and bi guys. You have to understand that whatever insecurities they have, whatever worries or misconceptions they have will be there. Whether it's their wife, diseases, am I gay?, still a man, okay to do this with another guy, what can or can't be done, all that comes with it. If you really want you to breed you, really get into when he's fucking you, work your ass muscles, match his rhythm maybe get him to be a little more verbal. I think it might be also that your asking for it. If you don't ask for it he might give it to you.

Although it's nice to think that every guy out there be it bi, straight, or gay thinks of ass as a piece of ass and cum hole and that there is no better feeling in the world than fucking an ass raw or being fucked and breeding not everyone thinks like that. If he doesn't breed you that's just something you have to accept. I never thought about it being a bonding type thing either. Although I do know that some men think of it like that I had the idea that most straight or married guys think of a man's ass as a cum hole or a place to get off in. Some guys do think like that. I never thought about it as getting a women pregnant though. No idea how straight guys think but I guess if someone fucks women for a long time and doesn't breed them because of worry of pregnancy that might carry over to a guy. But then again some men distinguish how they fuck a woman and how they fuck a man. Some don't.

Best of luck and if he doesn't breed you maybe you should just look for another. Actually have you thought of introducing him to poppers. Maybe if you try to get him to use poppers when fucking you he won't be able to hold back and he'll breed you.