Hello, new member here

[JXC]

Hello, I'm a new member to this forum but a long time stalker and I finally decided I wanted to join.

If you want to know more about me you can check my profile, pm me, or ask directly on this thread and I'll answer

any question you ask me completely honestly.

[everopen1]

Welcome

any plans to lose your virginity?

[JXC]

Not sure yet, If I didn't mention in my profile I'm actually bisexual(though now a days I slightly lean to a male preference) so I'm still debating which gender to lose to first, or if it really matters to me at all. Plus although I'm turned on by the thought of being a huge slut, I have certain "conditions" that would make that difficult to do safely, so I'm probably going to either stick to a monogamous relationship, or an open but well regulated relationship(obviously with someone who I know is trustworthy).

[everopen1]

We'll good luck with your decision. I recommend perhaps finding a mw couple with a bi male. Also recommend bb for the first time

[Strafe13]

I disagree with the first recommendation. You most certainly should not go BB for your first time with a MW bi couple that you meet. If you're going to make that decision (re: going bare), it should be with someone you know well, and who you trust to honestly tell you of their status, and you should be knowledgeable enough to be able to assess the likelihood of the accuracy of whatever they disclose. Going strictly off a generalization, as a virgin you may not be as fully informed on a variety of sexual health issues, and exposing yourself to a number of risks is not a decision to be made lightly. Just my two cents. Good luck to you, and welcome.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Or, potentially, start PrEP now before you do anything...

[JXC]

I've actually been seriously considering that, but something that I think I need to put out there is that for over ten years now I actually have been living with type 1 Diabetes, I handle pretty well but I have to be careful about how other medications mingle or affect my condition. Plus I'm not sure if my insurance would even cover it (I'm on either Medicare or Medicaid, not sure at the moment because I get the two mixed up sometimes) and I still live with my parents(and only my sister knows I'm bi)

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

google Gilead. Search and find where you can get assistance, even free truvada.

[TigerMilner]

I read this little thread and I have to say that in my opinion you are not ready. Neither is Strafe13. Bareback sex doesn't come with conditions and rules and all that. Anyone who thinks they can stay negative with this theory " you should be knowledgeable enough to be able to assess the likelihood of the accuracy of whatever they disclose. Going strictly off a generalization, as a virgin you may not be as fully informed on a variety of sexual health issues, and exposing yourself to a number of risks is not a decision to be made lightly" is either never going to get laid, or is not ready to take risks sexually. And that is what bareback sex outside of a commited monagamous relationship is, a risk. We take responsibility for our risks because we think it is worth it. The rest is pure crap.

[Strafe13]

With all due respect, Tiger, you completely misunderstood my post. The point of my post was not only that the original poster is not ready (we agree on this), but that if he was going to make the choice to have unprotected sex, he should be more knowledgeable about the subject matter, and choose to do so with someone with whom he has a level of comfort, trust, and reliability, so that he at least can understand and assess what, if anything, his potential partner discloses. I said absolutely nothing about staying negative, and I'd never (and did not) say or suggest that getting to know his partners better would keep him negative. I don't know why you thought that.

Instead I was telling him that he needed to approach the situation with his eyes wide open, and not to make his choice, whatever it ends up being, lightly. In fact, I agree with the other poster who suggested at least inquiring about going on PrEP. It seemed to me that the OP might be naive and/or misinformed about sexual health because he's a virgin. Hence, I suggested that he not make the decision to bareback for his first experience in a casual fashion, as seemingly suggested by another responder to the thread, but instead educate himself so as to make a more fully informed, responsible choice.

I read this little thread and I have to say that in my opinion you are not ready. Neither is Strafe13. Bareback sex doesn't come with conditions and rules and all that. Anyone who thinks they can stay negative with this theory " you should be knowledgeable enough to be able to assess the likelihood of the accuracy of whatever they disclose. Going strictly off a generalization, as a virgin you may not be as fully informed on a variety of sexual health issues, and exposing yourself to a number of risks is not a decision to be made lightly" is either never going to get laid, or is not ready to take risks sexually. And that is what bareback sex outside of a commited monagamous relationship is, a risk. We take responsibility for our risks because we think it is worth it. The rest is pure crap.

[bearbandit]

I've actually been seriously considering that, but something that I think I need to put out there is that for over ten years now I actually have been living with type 1 Diabetes

Like others, I think you still need to put some more thought into bb'ing. When you decide and the decision is "go for it" get assessed for PrEP. I have diabetes 2 which I manage with diet and gliclazide (which means I'll probably become insulin dependent at some point). Neither of the drugs in truvada affect the pancreas. Were you to bb without PrEP and pick up HIV there are drugs that affect the pancreas that you'll need to avoid, primarily the PI booster ritonavir (in the UK it's standard to up the dose of the PI ritonavir is boosting for people with diabetes). Should you have such bad luck as to pick up HIV it is manageable alongside diabetes, but first, I'd stick with condoms while giving bb a lot more thought.

[JXC]

Like others, I think you still need to put some more thought into bb'ing. When you decide and the decision is "go for it" get assessed for PrEP. I have diabetes 2 which I manage with diet and gliclazide (which means I'll probably become insulin dependent at some point). Neither of the drugs in truvada affect the pancreas. Were you to bb without PrEP and pick up HIV there are drugs that affect the pancreas that you'll need to avoid, primarily the PI booster ritonavir (in the UK it's standard to up the dose of the PI ritonavir is boosting for people with diabetes). Should you have such bad luck as to pick up HIV it is manageable alongside diabetes, but first, I'd stick with condoms while giving bb a lot more thought.

Thanks for the advice, that's actually the plan of action I've been considering doing. It's also good to know I could probably go on PrEP without much issue.

[TigerMilner]

Thanks for clarifying. I guess we agree on most points for the new quy. What I objected to was the idea that having "conditions" was somehow going to give him some kind of advantage, which I took your response to be supporting. My point is that having "conditions" is a turn off and is against what barebacking is all about. You did imply that if he knows his partner well enough he can better determine the truth of anything he tells him, which I assumed was alluding to his HIV status. I still think that is bad advice. Unless he is a human lie detector, he cannot do that no matter how well he knows someone. Either way, my main idea is that it doesn't matter about the other guy. He needs to take responsibility for his own choices. Your advice gives him ways to blame someone else in the event he gets pozzed. It will be no ones fault but his own.

In my opinion, he needs to resolve the "bi" issue before he worries about the "bb" issue. Then he needs to own it.

With all due respect, Tiger, you completely misunderstood my post. The point of my post was not only that the original poster is not ready (we agree on this), but that if he was going to make the choice to have unprotected sex, he should be more knowledgeable about the subject matter, and choose to do so with someone with whom he has a level of comfort, trust, and reliability, so that he at least can understand and assess what, if anything, his potential partner discloses. I said absolutely nothing about staying negative, and I'd never (and did not) say or suggest that getting to know his partners better would keep him negative. I don't know why you thought that.

Instead I was telling him that he needed to approach the situation with his eyes wide open, and not to make his choice, whatever it ends up being, lightly. In fact, I agree with the other poster who suggested at least inquiring about going on PrEP. It seemed to me that the OP might be naive and/or misinformed about sexual health because he's a virgin. Hence, I suggested that he not make the decision to bareback for his first experience in a casual fashion, as seemingly suggested by another responder to the thread, but instead educate himself so as to make a more fully informed, responsible choice.

[bearbandit]

In my opinion, he needs to resolve the "bi" issue before he worries about the "bb" issue. Then he needs to own it.

Absolutely!

[Strafe13]

We're really not disagreeing much here at all. I didn't mean to imply that the OP would be better able to discern the truth of what a sex partner discloses if he knows the partner well. I meant that if he was more knowledgable about sexual health, he'd be better able to assess the risks involved, no matter what the partner says ("I'm negative, positive, don't know, I'm clean, last test was x months ago, chance of infection is less if we do x," etc.). That way, he could better "own" his choices, so to speak. It's not about giving him someone else to blame for the potential consequences of his actions, but about arming himself with the tools to better appreciate the risks of whatever it is he chooses to do.

Seems that I was being overly diplomatic about warning him that due to his inexperience, he likely wouldn't know enough to assess whether a partner might feed him a croc of shit just to get whatever he/she wanted. Guess I should have been more blunt.

Thanks for clarifying. I guess we agree on most points for the new quy. What I objected to was the idea that having "conditions" was somehow going to give him some kind of advantage, which I took your response to be supporting. My point is that having "conditions" is a turn off and is against what barebacking is all about. You did imply that if he knows his partner well enough he can better determine the truth of anything he tells him, which I assumed was alluding to his HIV status. I still think that is bad advice. Unless he is a human lie detector, he cannot do that no matter how well he knows someone. Either way, my main idea is that it doesn't matter about the other guy. He needs to take responsibility for his own choices. Your advice gives him ways to blame someone else in the event he gets pozzed. It will be no ones fault but his own.

In my opinion, he needs to resolve the "bi" issue before he worries about the "bb" issue. Then he needs to own it.

Edited March 13, 2014 by Strafe13