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Steamworks / bathhouse help


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Hi guys,

I went to my first bath house (Steamworks) for my first time last Saturday at around 11pm. I thought the place would be hopping. I'm pretty shy and was very nervous. I'm a 33 year old guy, not built, not fat, not skinny, just average and a bit hairy. I usually get some attention at the bars with my clothes on but I'm not a hunk or anything with them off, so maybe that's the problem.

Basically, I can't tell a few things and am deciding if I want to go back... Could use some serious help here.

1) I only stayed for about an hour, maybe two at most. I was not sure what to do with myself. Once I sort-of walked through the place once or twice I felt like I was just going in circles and seeing the same dudes. Is this what you're supposed to do?

2) I don't know how to be aggressive with the guys I thought were sexy. Say hi? Give them a nudge? Grin? I'm just not sure what to do.

3) There were maybe 20-30 guys. About 5 of them were between 20-30, the rest seemed to all be at least 45. Is this normal? Would this be a good night? a bad night?

I'm basically not sure how much patience I should have here, both time-wise on a single visit and frequency wise (should I try it 3 or 4 times before I make a final decision on whether I like it or not?)

I feel like some of the stories I read on here indicate you walk in and instantly get fucked by 18 people. I felt like if I had tried really hard I *might* have gotten fucked by one dude. And again, I think I probably am average, looked better then half the guys there, not as good as half of them.

Guess I'm rambling a bit. Any honest advice is appreciated.

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Forgot to mention one more issue... I'm a bottom but almost everyone assumes I'm a top because I'm kind of broad, not skinny/smooth and twink looking...

How does one make it clear in a bathhouse that they want to get fucked, without just laying in the sling? I'd like to be a bit more selective about who gets to fuck me...

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Well if you're not too selective, if you have a room,you can lay on your bed on your belly with the door open ....you can also run into some hot three way (or more )action when others leave their doors open ....usually just a little eye contact with the person you're interested in will get you a response .. if he doesn't reciprocate after you are sure you made eye contact,you may not be his type....also a slight brush with your hand to his groin area as you walk past is a great way as well..good luck!

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Berkeley Steamworks runs hot and cold (no pun intended). One time when I was there it felt more like a country club than a sex club. Then one time in the steam room things got bit hot in a 3-way. I'm told things are hotter the later it gets.

How to approach? Remember, it's a sex club, be a bit more aggressive. Get on your knees at the glory holes, rub your ass when you see a guy that interest you. Or try touching someone you like.

I'd give it a few tries, at different times and different days.

Good luck and I hope you get fucked good!

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I've been to Steamworks in Berkeley once. I'm pretty shy, and don't have a ton of experience with men. I cruised around the place once or twice, and then decided to go into one of the stalls. I saw a mouth waiting as I walked in, and my cock was instantly hard so i stuck it into the hole. I left the stall door open, and within minutes I had multiple guys in the stall with me. One kissing me from behind. One eating my ass. One rubbing my nipples. The more I moaned, the more attention and men it drew to the stall.

I think this is the easiest way to get attention. Go into a stall or get a room, and leave the door open. It is an instant invitation for guys to come in.

Otherwise if you walk around and see something you like just make eye contact, and turn your head as they walk by. Most times they will stop and something will start up.

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Your experience sounds normal. Walking around is fun, and other people move around, new doors open, and it never feels like a waste of time to me! I think you def have to give it several tries at different times on different days. Stuff often happens when you least expect it. Gotta say Steamworks is one of the best places in the entire USA.

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  • 1 year later...

I've been there only once.  It seemed like there weren't a lot of men there, and pretty much nothing happening.  Maybe it was all happening in the  private rooms, because I did hear some noises coming from there, though I didn't see any doors left open.

I've always had very good luck going to sex clubs, rather than a bath house, mainly because they usually have one or more slings, which is an open invitation to fuck or get fucked.  

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Eye contact is usually a first key ... if the other guy looks away then he probably isn't interested.  Don't be that guy molesting everyone .. so annoying.  And, tbh, know what "league" you are in ... if you are a little out of shape you may not get the looks of guys in shape. But sex begets sex.  If you start sucking on a dick in a public area, then other guys might join in and start playing with your ass.  Anyways, my experience.

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