[Defiant Barebacker] Love

[Feeder]

Click here to see Defiant HIV+ Bareback Fucker's original blog post...

Do I still love him? Yes.

Am I "in love" with him? Probably not.

It has been sixteen years since we first met. We have had a lot of fun together, and I know of no other person that I have ever connected with like I have with my partner. Trouble is, I am increasingly not sure this is where I belong right now. Not because I have met someone, or even that I want to open the gates so I can meet someone. It is different that that.

He is negative, and of course I am positive. This does not mean much, since we have not had sex with each other in almost nine years. In fact, we really are not intimate in any way. Increasingly I like to have my space and I think he likes to have his. Maybe space is what my feelings are all about...

Does this mean we need to part ways? I am uncertain about this. We have things. We have animals. We have normality. If I give that up what do I get in its place?

No answers right now. No answers, just questions.

More...

[evilqueerpig]

You still love him, that's an established fact.

In order to decide what you need to do, if anything, you must answer more questions. Did you fall out of love with him or were you ever in love with him in the first place? Can you be happy with things as they are or do you want/need the option of finding another man?

Sixteen years together is a long time, but nine years with no sex or intimacy does not make for a healthy relationship.

You also need to know if he still loves you and if he's in love with you.

If you can remain friends, you can divide things and work out arrangements for your animals. What you have is more complacency than normality.

Ultimately, this is a decision to be made together as it affects both of you. Left as it is, unhappiness can turn into resentment.

My 2 cents from someone who's been there and done that.