25 Years Ago, I Left Small Town Conservative Hell For The Big City

[PozSlime]

and really never looked back.

 

Prior to that my life was a clusterfuck of one bad decision after another but I found that most of my problems were due to me, a very liberal gay man, living in a small religious ultra-conservative town with absolutley ZERO gay scene and as non-gay-friendly as it got.

 

Small town USA can be flat out depressing to a point that can drive a gay dude insane. Depression is the #1 killer of gay men. I could write an entire thread on the ailments that gay depression leads to.

 

That all changed for the better the day that I made the best decision I've ever made in my entire life.

I decided to move to Chicago. Why Chitown?

 

My midwestern roots made the move easier. But I had taken a few trips to Chi in the years prior for the hot, active gay scene. A gay weekend at Steamworks or Man's Country. Or I'd hit the now closed infamous Bijou theater. Or the multitudes of gay bars. The Ram theater. There was cock and hole everywhere. Chitown is a wiener buffet and I fell in love with the city just from taking a few weekend fuckfest trips there.

 

I would actually get depressed when leaving Chi to drive back to my small town hellhole. That's when it occurred to me that I had to move to Chitown. In order to save my life from the downward spiral of depression and loneliness.

 

I did my research and started to develop a plan to move. The internet helps enormously nowadays. Planning the move and actually doing were far easier and less stressful than I thought. I owe that to the time that I took to properly plan it out. I rented an apartment before moving which eliminated that major hurdle and stress maker. I had sent out resumes and had interviews lined up for a job. I had limited savings but enough to live on for a short time.

 

Proper planning and an organized strategy made it work well and the entire move was rather easy. Again, planning is the key.

 

I've spent the past 25 years living in fag paradise. I love Chicago's rich gay history and legendary gay scene and venues. Steamworks, The Leather Archive and Museum, Touche, Jackhammer

 

spin on over to BBRT and check out Chicago's local sex party or quick connect search pages and one can see it is very active.

 

Living in Chicago is quite affordable for a huge urban area, compared to many other cities. Rents are surprisingly reasonable for a big city. Not to bust on NYC or SF, gay heavens in their own rights, rents can be astronomical in many cities. It pays to do your homework and consider cost of living anytime you're looking to move. Chitowns cost of living is very reasonable.

 

I'll quit making a sales pitch for Chicago now and close by saying that the point of this thread is that if you are stuck in boring small town hell, moving to a big city can often be the POZ change that can set you free.

 

I've been a longtime reader of this site and finally decided to make a profile after reading many topics posted by BZ'ers that talked about sex dead places and a hard time hooking up in their home areas.

 

Wienerfest cities like Chicago, NY, SF, Denver, Montreal, Toronto, Berlin, London cure the hookup problem.

 

Moving from a small town to a big city can be a big hurdle to overcome but if my poor ass can pull it off I believe almost anyone can do it.

 

Moving to Chicago allowed me to finally find my gay freedom, my gay self, my slice of gay heaven. It saved my life.

 

I'd be glad to give pointers to anyone considering a similar large move.

[Bttm2go]

Your post brings back a lot of fun memories. I live in Palm Springs now, but grew up in Chicago. And it is a gay Mecca. I moved to Southern California because I vacationed here and finally tired of the Midwest winters. Sad to hear the Bijou is closed. I had fun in all the places you named, except Steamworks was the Unicorn when I lived there. If you ever get tired of winter, come on out to California...you'll love it. Go Cubs, go Hawks!

[Jaegar]

I live in a very gay-friendly city currently (Boston has the most Lesbians in the nation, apparently), but there isn't much of a proper "gay scene." I don't have much interest in San Fran or NYC due to their respective costs of living; is Chicago perhaps the most "gay" city aside from those?

[Guest FinalDL2021]

I find myself in this same dilemma, I am just recently started to identify as gay, and my needs have changed. I am putting serious thought into moving back to San Fransisico, why I moved is a different story. Where I live now, is not that bad, yet I have to travel more than an hour to any clubs or bath houses. It's a New England small town culture; blue collar, family orientation. 

My delimma is cost, my quality of life is better here, yet San Francisco would be a sexual Mecca, although I would pretty much end up living with my mom.