First Time Poz Sex Yesterday

[Locomotion]

For the first time that I know of, I had sex with a HIV+ guy who was not on medication.  For months and maybe years, I have been drawn closer and closer to the moment when I would surrender to the urge.  I have been trying to avoid this for a long time, but the desire, the draw of the chase can be overwhelming.

 

I ad been chatting on line with this guy for some time.  It has been surprisingly difficult to find guys who are not on meds and who understand how a new chaser feels.  I felt this guy would be a good starting point.  He lives somewhat nearby and seemed to really understand that huge step I was taking.  He also shares my enjoyment of weed.

 

Friday night we talked by phone and agreed that we would get together on Sunday (yesterday).  Saturday I joined this site....I had been avoiding doing so.  I wanted my decision on getting pozzed to be my own decision and not influenced by other's comments.  But, in reading the comments here, I quickly learned that here are many other guys with thoughts similar to mine.  All of the reading made me even more interested in what would happen on Sunday.

 

He knocked on the door at 2:00 just as we planned.  He certainly was open about how he got the virus and he was also firm about one thing else.  Regardless of whatever else was said he had two rules.  First he would not enter me unless I asked him to "please fuck me with your positive cock".  He said that way, I would have to say what I wanted and recognize that he was infected--no lack of understanding.   Second, once he was topping me, he would not withdraw for any reason--regardless of my words.  If I asked to be bred by him, I would be bred by him.

 

That short conversation put the reality of the moment into perspective.   But, my state of arousal, his directness and intent and the effects of some good herb all combined and I was quickly naked and asking for him to mount me.  Just as quickly, he responded and he had started to give me what I asked for.

 

That was a very confusing few moments.  I knew the risk and had (have??) some concerns about my desire.  But, I was also so turned on---turned on well beyond imagination---by what I was doing that it was crazy.   

 

After ten or fifteen minutes, I could sense the changes in his breathing and the speed or rhythm of his motions.  I knew I was just minutes away from him ejaculating.  Then he started talking about what he was doing and how deep he would drive his "toxic gift".  With the fear and thrill both screaming at me louder than any voices ever heard in my head.....i felt him jerk in orgasm and heard him whisper that I now had a load of HIV+ cum smeared in my ass.  That was a bit weird as well...realizing that I had just taken the first many  who could give me hiv+  I had done it....right or wrong.....I started bug chasing.

 

For good measure, he repeated the action before he left.  The second time was more like normal sex.  Neither of us mentioned the bug....we just had a really good time, but once again, he inserted his sick DNA into me.

 

Waking up this morning had so many thoughts.   There is a possibility that my body has started to convert.  I could very well be on my way to being HIV+ and just do not know it yet.   I suppose that simply acting on this desire means that I should accept being positive even before I test.   The other thought is how much I want to repeat this most recent sexual experience.  After a lifetime of being scared of infected guys, right now I seem to think of nothing else.

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

Even though you are a newbie to this, you will find that you are just one of many that have these desires and reading your post here, there are many of us in this same situation and with the same desires, so you are not alone here.

For myself, I've always been addicted to BB with the tops, ever since I was first broken in and introduced in my 20's. I've always been selective and as careful as possible and thus have remained neg for all these years. Back in 2013 a friend and I got involved with a couple of guys that were supposed to be and were claiming to be neg, but turned out to be poz stealth breeders. Short of the story, my friend turned up poz, but for some reason, I dodged the bullet and didn't. Once this happened, I was scared as hell and then stopped having encounters of any kind for quit some time. I only had encounters with those I knew and trusted and those were far and few in between, so it was pretty dull from then on.

It has taken me quit sometime to learn and understand the mixed feelings about the desires that have eventually grown out of the close encounter that I had a couple of years ago with the poz breeders. While I still don't completely understand the growing desires of taking anon or known poz loads, I have become comfortable with doing so and also comfortable with the knowledge that sooner or later that my fate will be to be converted to poz also. Up to this point, I have taken many anon loads, but as of last testing recently am still neg. There has been a growing desire for me to go out and actively seek a poz breeder to accomplish the very thing and fate that used to scare me so much before, but there are those in or near my location that are not willing to do this or to be upfront and open with their status and therefor am finding it difficult to realize my fate quickly. This desire in itself is a mystery to me, yet is undeniable and exciting to knowingly be taking loads that may very well be toxic and life changing. With each encounter, the desire and need increases for me to eventually convert and become part of something bigger and hopefully better for me.

[LKMike]

Locomotion, go to the emergency room and get on PEP, then get on PrEP. Taking toxic loads is the thrill, not the getting knocked up.You were excited by the directness and directions of this guy telling you he is going to knock you up. It is just as thrilling for a top to tell you how he is going to pump his toxic seed in you and how he is going to convert you when he doesnt know you are on PrEP. In fact some of them become fixated in knocking you up when you keep testing neg. 

[kinkycumbear]

i'm toxic and I meet loads of men who want to feel how it is, I have some that begged me to pull out, i have others who kept going until i shot a 2nd load. It is remarkable how many men want it and to be honest I'm ok with giving it to them.  They all know that my loads are very potent and most of them embrace it.  6 of them tested poz after couple of weeks and all thanked me for the wonderful adventure.