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Do I Expect Too Much?


bigdick4you

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Have been in a relationship with my BF for over 4 years now and it hasn't been an easy road...Thought the distance was one of our main issues so decided to take the plunge and move from Europe to US. One of our main issues has always been in the br. We met through a hook up site and I organized gangbang for him but somehow we connected...I consider myself to have an healthy sexual appetite and he goes through kind of phases....I travel a lot for work and have sexual encounters with other guys that I enjoy. The problem is that I can't be my sexual self with my BF. Ideally I would like to whore him out to other guys or introduce other guys into our sexlife....but he always seems to be apprehensive of it. We have had sex with others together and separately obviously but it's always like pulling teeth...he needs to be in the mood for it. The only way he can be a whore is when he smokes meth. Last year he went on a sex binge for couple of days when I was away for work. I felt kind of betrayed by it....First of all I don't like him doing drugs but secondly I would like him to do stuff like that with me. After that he was almost like one year sexually inactive as he was so shocked by the drug scene. We almost didn't have any sex... I couldn't come near his hole...I found it offensive but put up with it. Last week I came home from work and he told me he had met someone the day before and had smoked meth. I told him that I would leave him if things wouldn't change. I wanted to be able to have a sexlife with my BF as well and not just with others. He agreed and I finally got to fuck him after almost one year. The next day he was back to his old ways...not wanting to have sex and saying that I concentrated our relationship too much on sex. I went through his chats on hook up websites and read some of the msg he had with guys...it was like a total different person...he wanted to be a cumdump for these guys. Basically he is with others what I want him to be with me! It frustrates me and makes me grumpy and moody. I'm now with him on short vacation break in California and I was hoping to hook up with some guys....ideally have my BF join or at least let me have some fun with others if he is not up for it. But he won't have any of it...not only doesn't he want to join....but he also doesn't let me hook up with others! He tells me I concentrate too much on sex and that I'm moody...I told him I had normal sexual appetite and that I could hook up with others and still have time to do stuff together. I know that as soon as I get back to work he will go on hook up sites to find guys...I find this relationship dysfunctional and frustrating. I luv him very much but I can't continue like this....something will have to change! Any ideas how I can handle this situation?

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you're not being too demanding it's just you're facing the sort of the same probs all guys have to face with. How many time has it been for both of you to have a big, deep & sincere  open hearted discussion? you wouldn't like him if he was like you & the other way around. It is though very important for you to make sure you know about his wishes & points of views for life as for sex. Same way as it is important for him to know yours. I'm obviously talking about a serious long lasting love relation & no one night stand! Bigest prob you may encounter is he (or you) do no like getting & talking personal. Maybe not even like talking at all but I'm afraid that's a needed root when wanting to build something strong & keep it that why. Good news will be you both are guys & no girls.

Even better; you both are gay guys. you do not have the prob of a different vision about sex like str8 guys & chicks have ;)  Bad news will be some of you (gay guys) may be as jealous as chicks. As if not more & again the reason why open hearted discussions are needed. If jealousy is no prob in your relation; why not simply make sort of compromises & agreements for both of you to get what your lover is not into  elsewhere ;)  Example; you both like piss= do it together. you like scat while he does not, have some with other guys. He will know it's just sex you're having yet no danger for your relation. Same way as you know it is him you love & not that unknown guy you're having dirty fun with. Going elsewhere for a fuck is exactly like going to a pub with ur mates for a beer. you will have a good time but will always go back to the one & only you love.  you may like him to behave like a sub while he might not like it at all. Simply forget it  with him & have that kind of fun with submissive guys. There is no fun in behaving & doing things you don't like. Pretending & doing to please is no long lasting solution neither. Not to mention it ain't fun nor sincere :mellow:  don't forget you love him for what he is, same way he loves you for what you are. you guys simply wouldn't have cum & be together if you were different beings. Life will have both of you changing. A lot or not but ur & his  inner roots & self will stay. The only important question is will you both change in each other's direction or away from each other.

Hope it does give sum kind of  helpful answer to ur questions. Not the kind of talks I usually have on sex sites but you asked for it.

 take care, be very naughty & have fun the way you like & want it ;) 

Pervertly yours,

Sir Philippe

Edited by SirPhilippe
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you're not being too demanding it's just you're facing the sort of the same probs all guys have to face with. How many time has it been for both of you to have a big, deep & sincere  open hearted discussion? you wouldn't like him if he was like you & the other way around. It is though very important for you to make sure you know about his wishes & points of views for life as for sex. Same way as it is important for him to know yours. I'm obviously talking about a serious long lasting love relation & no one night stand! Bigest prob you may encounter is he (or you) do no like getting & talking personal. Maybe not even like talking at all but I'm afraid that's a needed root when wanting to build something strong & keep it that why. Good news will be you both are guys & no girls.

Even better; you both are gay guys. you do not have the prob of a different vision about sex like str8 guys & chicks have ;)  Bad news will be some of you (gay guys) may be as jealous as chicks. As if not more & again the reason why open hearted discussions are needed. If jealousy is no prob in your relation; why not simply make sort of compromises & agreements for both of you to get what your lover is not into  elsewhere ;)  Example; you both like piss= do it together. you like scat while he does not, have some with other guys. He will know it's just sex you're having yet no danger for your relation. Same way as you know it is him you love & not that unknown guy you're having dirty fun with. Going elsewhere for a fuck is exactly like going to a pub with ur mates for a beer. you will have a good time but will always go back to the one & only you love.  you may like him to behave like a sub while he might not like it at all. Simply forget it  with him & have that kind of fun with submissive guys. There is no fun in behaving & doing things you don't like. Pretending & doing to please is no long lasting solution neither. Not to mention it ain't fun nor sincere :mellow:  don't forget you love him for what he is, same way he loves you for what you are. you guys simply wouldn't have cum & be together if you were different beings. Life will have both of you changing. A lot or not but ur & his  inner roots & self will stay. The only important question is will you both change in each other's direction or away from each other.

Hope it does give sum kind of  helpful answer to ur questions. Not the kind of talks I usually have on sex sites but you asked for it.

 take care, be very naughty & have fun the way you like & want it ;) 

Pervertly yours,

Sir Philippe

the problem was that he could be the way he wanted to be with others but not with me. it frustated me and made me feel insecure. i have been and still am in therapy because of this. Anyway he broke up with me a few days ago as i got very drunk in a bar and made a scene. not proud of it but it was due to long time bottled frustation. i feel sad but at same time liberated that its over. For time being just looking to have uncomplicated fun...

I wish I could find a bf like you. One that would whore me out from time to time.

thats what a lot of cumdumps say. they dont understand it either. i guess he does want it by other tops....just not by me. probably because we had relationship. anyway its over and time to move on!

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