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Struggling with Desire vs Reality

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I hadnt played with men since my last post here until last night. I feel like im going insane. I had my appointment for prep last week and just didnt go. Last night the wife was gone. I felt the urge, and ended up back at the baths. I did what ive wanted to do since the first time i went. No rubbers, just let every guy who looked vaguely interested fuck me. Several guys straight said they were poz and those i begged for. It all felt so absolutely amazing. I even went home with a pair of black guys who found poz tops on craigslist to breed me at their place. It may have been the best night of my life. Im debating going again tonight and think it just might be my lot in life to do this

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