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To fuck raw or not to fuck raw - advice sought


Guest wl101

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Sadly, I'm one of those guys who is never gonna be able to reveal his true self to anyone. My missus had an ex once who revealed he was bi midway through and she dumped him there and then. So telling her I like to fuck men on the side ain't gonna do it for her as I love her too much to risk losing her and/or seeing her upset.

My brother is gay and this caused and continues to cause massive ructions with my parents as whilst my Mum can accept my bro's position my Dad is too old skool and can't. They've not spoken now for years and family events have never been family events because my bro is always missing when my father is involved. For the sake of my poor mother caught in the middle of it all, and my dad, Im not going to reveal to them both of their offspring like men to varying degrees!

The day will come when you will regret not being true to yourself... Come out to your fiancée and family. Let the chips fall where they will - you'll be better for it in the long run. If your finacée keeps going out with bi/gay guys that should tell her something. And chances are your dad is gay. He's fathered two gay sons (genetics) and the biggest homophobes are often compensating for not accepting the fact that they themselves are gay.

But having gone through the process myself with my family. Have no expectations. Realize you may lose big parts of your family. Be OK with that. Ultimately it can be a good thing... You'll be stronger as a result.

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Guest GoodExercise

You will have raw man sex. It is natural. It will lead to HIV. Also natural. HIV is no big deal; pop one pill a day and you will be fine.

You deserve to plant your seed in the men you fuck; and that is what they want and need from you.

When you finally let go of your fear of HIV, your real sex life will begin and you can fuck like a man.

How much good sex are you going to pass by before you finally embrace the inevitable?

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I object to this part of your comment: "HIV is no big deal; pop one pill a day and you will be fine."

It's true that in many people HIV can be successfully treated with "one pill a day". It's not true for everyone. The 'one pill' you mention, Atripla, is a three-drug combination, any one of which can cause unacceptable side effects in some percentage of those using it. Apart from side effects Atripla simply fails in a fraction of those who try it. Finding a drug regimen that is both effective and tolerable can be a grueling challenge. I do not mean to suggest that these difficulties affect the majority of people contracting HIV, but the possibilities are real and should be considered in making one's choices.

Further, we do not know what the implications are for decades-long use of anti-HIV medications. Those effects may be minimal, though the experience of the past 20 years suggests caution at overly-optimistic assumptions. Easily managed HIV infection also requires uninterrupted access to medication. There are many things that can disrupt that access -- loss on insurance, loss of government subsidies, economic disruptions that can curtail manufacture, transport and distribution, etc. There considerations may be more or less pressing in any given person's situation, but I suggest that the relative ease of management and treatment of HIV many of us currently enjoy is more fragile and contingent than we may like to consider.

I don't raise any of this to argue against barrier-free sex. The choice for barebacking is a valid one as is the choice not to bareback. It should be a fully conscious choice, as informed as it is possible to be. Acquiring HIV may not be the catastrophe it was 30 years ago but it remains a big deal.

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Guest wl101

Cheers for all the comments people. Really do appreciate the fact you've taken the time and the effort to post up a response to my original dilemma.

The hook up took place on Saturday but still left plenty of time for me to rationally come to a decision.

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Guest wl101
So what did you decide to do?

If you want the long answer, including following my thought processes etc then I've been writing my own blog, Goings on of a Closet Bi (closet-bi.blogspot.com), where I've been keeping a blog of my bisexuality and what I've been getting up to since I started going with guys in late Summer 2010. Apologies to rawtop if publicising alternate blogs is against the rules. I'm never sure what is and isn't allowed.

If you want the short answer, I fucked him raw and spunked three nice loads up his ass. Had the most fantastic time. Really enjoyed myself. No regrets whatsoever, even now 48 hours later. Feels like a weight off my shoulders. Massive respect to the guy himself for not pressuring me either.

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Apologies to rawtop if publicising alternate blogs is against the rules. I'm never sure what is and isn't allowed.

Links to sites with illegal content are not allowed. Otherwise, it's all good. The problem is people don't realize how many of the videos are illegal. Essentially if you see a video that's more than 5 or 10 minutes long and it's not genuinely amateur or not the website of the producer of the video, then you're looking at illegal content.

Links to personal blogs are always OK (provided you don't have illegal videos on your personal blog). Feel free to put the link in your signature so it shows up on every one of your posts.

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