Recently thinking, Reflections on past life

[baldwin]

I was thinking about my past life as I was posting to a couple of topics today about how I got started cock sucking and admitting I was gay.  What would have happened if i hadn't married a woman and if while I was married my best friend and secret gay pardner hadn't died while I was married.  I eventually divorced.

My first thought was I would have ended up permanently with my friend.  I feel this in my heart.  Secondly this being the late 70's and early 80's we probably would have been "in the closet".  Then as I continued to think about our relationship, I knew I was his bottom.  He called the shots in our relationship.  I can only remember a couple of times that I fucked him.  One thing he did that disappointed me, was he had several former army buddies that he had relations with,  I offered myself many times for him to share me with them.  But he always refused to my disappointment.  Thinking about these brought an interesting thought to my mind.  What if my friend wanted to whore me out, would i have agreed to that.  Still knowing how I felt then and still do, I think I would have been happy to be his whore and he be my pimp.  One I loved him and also I loved being a bottom so much.  If he made money off me that would have been fine. It would enable me to not work a regular job but help with expenses.  It brings a smile to my face just thinking about it.  

With the diseases running around at that period in time I am quite soon I wouldn't have lived to the age I am now.   But I would have been so happy.

Anyone else think they might like to have/or are whored out.