A Word About Frogs

[ErosWired]

Frogs. Amphibious animals of the order Anura, suborders Archeobatrachia, Mesobatrachia and Neobatrachia. Not that that matters to most people. a frog is one of these:

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Probably the most recognizable members of the Class Amphibia, and, according to the imbecilic Alex Jones, gay. At least, he claimed that chemicals in the water were "turning frogs gay" and it was all a Big Gummint Conspiracy which he pushed in a viral YouTube video in 2015, long since debunked, discredited and removed. Yet for some reason the notion remains that there's a connection between frogs and homosexuality, to the extent that the frog is sometimes seen as a symbol or mascot of gay pride.

Is it because nobody can fathom how Kermit could actually be attracted to Miss Piggy and assume he's just using her for closet cover? Is it because everyone's cynically bought into the idea that Arnold Lobel's completely sweet and innocent tale of friendship Frog and Toad Are Friends is actually about gay love? (If so, puh-lease grow up so you can read children's books properly.) Is it because frogs have these massive thighs that automatically pull your attention to the groin area?

Ah. But that's the thing, you see.

Frogs have no external genitals. Male or female. Frogs reproduce by amplexus - she lays a mass of eggs, he perches over her and basically pours sperm over the top of the pile. No penetration.*

The male frog does, however, apparently enjoy this immensely, and is positively driven to do it at every possible opportunity, to the point that he makes every opportunity a possible opportunity. That is, a male frog will mount just about anything. Female frogs, dead frogs, non-frogs, inanimate objects, other male frogs, at least long enough to determine whether it's a female and/or there's a mass of eggs anywhere nearby. If not, said frog is usually like, "Oh - yeah, sorry, dude," and off he goes to the next inanimate but mountable object, say, a bewildered mouse.

But this, obviously, is the source of a great deal of wrong assumption, where even persons in-the-know about frogs (which you mostly have to be, since it's hard to tell males apart from females without genitalia) mistakenly conclude that a male frog mounting another male frog is doing it for homosexual reasons and not just happentobetheresexual reasons. Deeper scientific investigation reveals that out of over 7,000 species of frogs, only two (2) might practice some form of true homosexuality, and that has to do not with the act of reproduction, but with the role of the male in nurturing young of those species.

So, sorry to be the bearer, but - frogs are not gay. All the controversy and turmoil surrounding frogs and turning people gay is actually just about people. Now, there is actual homosexuality in the animal kingdom, and always has been, and there's nothing 'unnatural' about it. It's a feature. We may not fully understand why it exists, in the context of our understanding of (and mainstream societal preference for) a sexually binary world, but there it is. Similarly, homosexuality in humans has existed at least from antiquity and likely from the very beginning, and why should it not? We're a product of the same Tree of Life that produced every other species on the planet, including all the other ones that have perfectly natural homosexual individuals. In various places on this forum we find discussions about the nature of gayness in an evolutionary sense, and what purpose faggots serve (if any) given the reproductive realities of a binary reproductive process. It may be that these discussions are somewhat pointless in that we simply don't have a full picture of why homosexuality evolved in the natural world at all. But it exists, therefore it evolved, and evolution being an energy- and time-expensive process that doesn't occur needlessly, there must be some important purpose in it that justified its appearance in the species.

Frogs, it seems, haven't needed it. We might not have, either, if we made babies just by just jacking off over eggs laid on the ground. But then, if men didn't need to penetrate cunts, there would be no cocks, and that would be a tragedy.

So.

Given that: a) Frogs are not gay; and b) Frogs have no external genitals; but c) Male frogs are nonetheless pretty much always game for it - If you're a prince and you kiss a frog, what will it turn into?

(Worst possible case: Alex Jones and/or a toad. Same difference.)

For more information on the subject of frog non-gayness, check out:

[think before following links] https://toadsnfrogs.com/frogs-gay/

*This method is advantageous for producing a shit-ton of kids - tadpoles have a very high mortality rate, being high on the menu of many animals, and you have to make a lot of them in the hope that a handful survive. The gal couldn't gestate them all inside her; she'd explode, and even if she didn't the endless labor and delivery would kill her.

Edited March 8, 2022 by ErosWired

[funpozbottom]

I'm surprised no one has hopped on this and replied yet. I guess that means none of the members here are frogs. Anyway, here is my completely unscientific and somewhat satirical opinion/essay on the nature of human sexuality and the relevance of its relationship to frogs.

 

The first rule of animal studies is: Don't ascribe human characteristics or morals to animal subjects.

The second rule of animal studies is: Don't ascribe human characteristics or morals to Alex Jones.

(Yeah, it's a cheap joke, but it was sitting right out in the open waiting to be said.)

And so, lets talk about frogs. Frogs are interesting creatures, although I have to admit that, personally, I'm more of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle kind of guy. I'm not a hardcore TMNT fan -- I've only got one box under my bed filled with copies of every issue of Eastman and Laird's original comic book series, a set of turtle watches, plushies and action figures, lunch box, cups, and some other assorted merchandise including a 5 foot tall movie standie.... OK, so maybe I am a fanboy (blush) and I wouldn't hesitate to let those heroes-on-the-half-shell have my ass anytime they wanted. But I digress. This isn't about animated cartoon reptiles, this is about natural wholesome frogs.

 

If we start over and hop back to that first rule about making observations in nature, I must reiterate it's not appropriate to anthropomorphize animal behavior. Animals are not studied to see what we observe in them that appears the same as humans, but the opposite. Animals are studies to observe what is naturally occurring and from there, assess which traits are common across many types of animals, and which are unique or specific to certain species.

 

Humans and frogs are not particularly close relatives, so if we can observe similar behaviors or traits in both frogs and humans, we can hypothesize that said human behavior is perfectly natural and somewhat common within the animal kingdom. Observed differences can also help us gain insight into our own human condition. Here are a couple examples of what I mean:

 

Frogs are active mostly at night, so they rely on things other than vision in their mating process. Male frogs will encircle a pond and use vocal calls to attract females to places that each male thinks would make a good place to mate. This same type of behavior is seen in human males who stand around dimly lit bars and emit calls of “Hey babe, can I buy you a drink?”

 

Frogs have poor eyesight, so they have a tendency to approach anything that is remotely shaped like a female frog. Once contact is made, the frog can quickly determine if the other object is a female who is willing to mate. Inebriated human males will also approach anything that is remotely shaped like a female frog. This random approach strategy is often called, “If it don't run or kick you in the balls, fuck it.”

 

Male frogs do not have penises. This is a clear difference from humans that upsets some trans-phobic individuals because it shows there is more to differentiating gender than simply observing external genitalia.

 

Another difference is that male frogs squirt sperm directly on eggs. If human males try that, they get thrown out of the restaurant.

 

So, we can observe frogs and see some correlation to human behaviors and some differences. But what about homosexuality? Is there observable behavior to suggest that frogs might be gay? The short answer is: no. Actually, true homosexuality is rare in creatures other than humans. And by “true” homosexuality I mean that, when given equal access between a receptive female or a second male, the male test subject will actively and consistently select to engage with the second male.

Many of the animal behaviors that have been labeled as “gay”, are not signs of homosexuality. Things like males tending offspring or fostering orphans is not a sign of them being “gay”. It is a sign of a male actively participating and trying to maintain viability of the species. Male on male mounting behavior – particularly in the absence of females – also is not a sign of being “gay”. It's merely a sign of frustrated efforts to satisfy biological needs.

 

It's true that male frogs will sometimes mount another male, however this isn't because the frog wants to be with another male. It's because the frog can't tell who is who until he's literally on top of them. The frog is not looking for a long-term commitment. All the frog wants is to find the situation/position that will release his sperm. There is no evidence that male frogs seek out or prefer other males instead of females. Occasionally mounting a male does not mean a frog “likes” males and is gay, but likewise, mounting a female does not mean the frog “likes” females. It does not mean he'll try to get her number and text her the next day. It simply means that with a female, he is able to more consistently initiate the genetically programmed sequence to trigger the release of sperm. Terms like “gay” or “straight” are out of context when you are talking about frogs. They simply do not apply.

 

Just a little aside here: It seems that frogs like to hop on top of each other. They all do it – it doesn't matter which gender they are or the gender of the other frog, and it has nothing to do with sex. The most plausible explanation is that, since frogs are cold blooded, they hop on anything that might give off a little heat to warm their bellies. (Just a little aside to my aside, frogs also have a habit of peeing on the frogs they hop on. Whether it's because they like it warm and wet – I mean who doesn't – or are just amphibian pranksters is anybody's guess. Either way, this shows that frogs can be just as kinky as … turtles.) But anyway, if you really wanted to look for signs of homosexuality in frog hopping, your best bet might be to look at mounting behavior in female frogs. If you could establish that female frogs mount other females in an attempt to get them to release eggs then you might be able to propose a theory, however it would be hard to prove whether there was intention in mounting or if she just thought that other frog was warmer than a rock.

 

Seriously, anyone who thinks they can prove frogs can be gay is probably better off just trying to host a fantasy conspiracy based radio show or podcast.

 

This leaves one unanswered question: If homosexuality is so rare, is there an evolutionary advantage to it occurring in humans? Is it even possible to find an answer to that question? To which I say: Of course we can answer that question. This isn't some stodgy research facility encumbered by scientific knowledge, this is a sex forum on the internet. We. Can Do. Anything!

 

We can do anything … except fit all of my thoughts and bluster in one post. I'll decode the puzzling nature of homosexuality in humans in part 2.

 

And, yes, there will be turtles.

[ErosWired]

25 minutes ago, funpozbottom said:

I've only got one box under my bed filled with copies of every issue of Eastman and Laird's original comic book series, a set of turtle watches, plushies and action figures, lunch box, cups, and some other assorted merchandise including a 5 foot tall movie standie.... OK, so maybe I am a fanboy

If you were a bona fide TMNT fanboy, you would also have TMNT undies, but you make no mention of this. Your credentials are questionable.

29 minutes ago, funpozbottom said:

Male frogs will encircle a pond and use vocal calls to attract females to places that each male thinks would make a good place to mate. This same type of behavior is seen in human males who stand around dimly lit bars and emit calls of “Hey babe, can I buy you a drink?”

The comparison is particularly apt when you consider that the call of male bullfrogs is sometimes said to sound like “Jug o’ rum. More rum.”