Power struggle

[Ponystallion]

How do you know when power exchange is in effect?

[badjujuboy]

When you ask “how do you know,” I would say this would be determined by those involved… whether by the results of direct negotiation, organically or a combination determined at a certain point in time… It could be prior to meeting or at some point during the experience. For instance being on the sub side, my relationships/experiences as a cunt/cuntboy inherently includes the fact that I have the ability to decide whether or not I choose to fully give the power to another or to what level (for example, through negotiation). To me, this knowledge the “power exchange” being in effect usually comes organically as it is happening and I consciously yield that power over, whether or not there has been some previous negotiating. This would be true of a one-off or an ongoing thing. As a matter of fact, I’ve rescinded it at times in the middle of a session. Never forget that most times outside of fantasies, a sub (or whatever label used) does have an inherent power over the Top/Dom/etc.

Edited March 18, 2022 by badjujuboy

[ErosWired]

It depends. The grant of power is under the control of the submissive, because the exercise of the power will be under the control of the Dominant, and consent is paramount, even in the cases of consensual non-consent.

Therefore, at some level there is always some negotiation involved, even if only a simple acknowledgment of limits or the use of a safeword. The Power Exchange agreement can be quite involved, establishing rules and even laying them out in written form, which is sometimes done for long-term or ownership arrangements. In my case, for example, there is a Man who holds a Deed to my body that stipulates his rights to use me sexually at will, to share me with others of his choice, or to require me to service any man at his order, at any time. The Power Exchange went into effect the moment I handed him the Deed, and remains in constant effect because that’s what the agreement says - Of my own free will I gave that man a document that makes me a cunt-on-call 24/7, and I honor my word. On his part, he does not abuse the privilege. (I wish he would abuse the hell out of it.)

What triggers the activation of a Power Exchange can be informal - a simple nod, or the obedience of a command, or any act of submission such as presenting an ass or opening a mouth to receive, assuming a position to be acted upon - or formal, such as allowing a Dominant to place a collar around the submissive’s neck. In some cases, the collar itself serves as the signal for when the Power Exchange is active; it’s active when the collar is on, and not when it isn’t.

Practical considerations may govern the application of the Exchange. For some D/s pairs, the submissive may openly walk down the street in a collar on a lead, but in others, they may set aside the D/s protocol in public and observe it only in private. The Dom may only be ‘Sir’ when they’re alone together.

Which is all to say, there’s so straight-up answer to hour question. Power Exchange is very individual and fluid, and always subject to adjustment. Perhaps it’s best to say that for the submissive, he knows the exchange is active when he lets go and accepts the Dominance. For the Dominant, he knows by the submissive’s compliance - and by that certain look in his eyes.