When You know the bottom wants it.

[rambo13645]

How many tops will push the envelope to get in their bottom bareback? I feel like for me to get what I crave (a load) the top will have to take charge and take what he wants.  I really want it to go down that way but how often does it happen? Start with a bj and he eases in, maybe with a condom just to get started then rolls it off.  I feel like once the chat goes toward bareback I just won't meet since he now knows what I really want.  

[holeswideopen]

I once had a guy role play his way to bareback. Started with a condom but he just couldn’t get it in. Magically he slid right in after taking the condom off. It was hot.

[Mcv69]

Iv said this many times on here now, in major city’s I don’t know many guys who don’t bareback, it’s very rare now to see Condoms used, yes people still do but Raw BB sex is just the norm now with the vast majority of men on PreP or AV medicine which is a game changer. Bareback is no longer [banned word] or seen as a kink it’s normal apart of nature, and the way it should be. 

[ErosWired]

17 hours ago, rambo13645 said:

How many tops will push the envelope to get in their bottom bareback? I feel like for me to get what I crave (a load) the top will have to take charge and take what he wants.  I really want it to go down that way but how often does it happen? Start with a bj and he eases in, maybe with a condom just to get started then rolls it off.  I feel like once the chat goes toward bareback I just won't meet since he now knows what I really want.  

I’m confused. Are you saying that you want Tops to bareback you, but if they know that you want them to you won’t meet with them? That you want it but you don’t want it unless you’re forced to take what you actually crave? That in order for the fuck to happen the Top has to think he’s got to coerce you? Or stealth you?

What exactly do you mean by “push the envelope?” You say that you want it bare, so what envelope is there to push unless you’re playing some hard-to-get game to try to manipulate Tops into aggressive behavior, which I think most Tops would find tiresome and annoying.

Perhaps I’m totally misreading the question, and you might be able to restate it in a different way.

[BannedWord]

8 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

I’m confused. Are you saying that you want Tops to bareback you, but if they know that you want them to you won’t meet with them? That you want it but you don’t want it unless you’re forced to take what you actually crave? That in order for the fuck to happen the Top has to think he’s got to coerce you? Or stealth you?

What exactly do you mean by “push the envelope?” You say that you want it bare, so what envelope is there to push unless you’re playing some hard-to-get game to try to manipulate Tops into aggressive behavior, which I think most Tops would find tiresome and annoying.

Perhaps I’m totally misreading the question, and you might be able to restate it in a different way.

I read it the same way @ErosWired. Why not just cut through the BS and tell the top that you crave him bareback straightaway? 

The OP's comment seemed like he was playing coy and ultimately being a cock tease if he wanted bareback and the top indulged that desire. Do that with the wrong top it won't be his load you're worried about but your own safety. People have gotten badly beaten for that sort of game. 

[rambo13645]

i'm simply being careful with language because basically what i'm saying is i want to be raped.  not sure how that kind of talk goes here and if the post can get taken down.  and no i dont go around wasting guys time.  all i meant was in the 10-15 convo's i've had in the last 10 years, that is when i actually brought myself to message someone, if i know i let that tidbit go that i want it bare i dont hook up because then he knows he's got a green flag and i'm not OK with the risk.  on the other hand there have been 5-6 times where the ad was just about a blowjob and i blew the guy and that was it.  there was no expectation for more and i didnt put myself out there advertising what i really wanted.  sorry for the confusion because what people thought i meant i agree is not cool.  

[ErosWired]

So, you’re saying that basically once or twice a year you work yourself up to actually messaging someone to hook up, and you tell him you want it bare, you then back out? What you’re saying is you just told him you wanted it when in fact you weren’t okay with it. But you’re also telling us that even though you’re not okay with making the decision to take the risk to have bareback sex yourself, you want someone else to force that risk on you because you really do want to take it bare.

😐

Brother, I’ve got to tell you, that’s some messed up, there. If you’re not man enough to take responsibility for your own choices and your own sexual risk, then you have no business fucking around with other men’s sex lives. You want to be raped? No, you don’t. You want somebody to fuck you bare while you pretend to be raped because that way you can say you “didn’t have a choice” but to take it bare - and lay the blame on the Top who just gave you exactly what you wanted. Besides, you can’t “want to get raped” - you can’t rape the willing. If you ever find yourself being actually raped, you won’t want any part of it.

But how does being “raped” make the risk any different? It’s the same risk, you’re just trying to make someone else take the responsibility for it for some bizarre reason.

To answer your original question, in this context, it is possible to encounter a Top who is short on ethics and will impose his desire to bareback on you. You mention putting on and then “rolling off” a condom - that’s usually considered stealthing, and us now a crime in some jurisdictions. But yes, there are morally challenged men who will load you up given the chance.

Given the chance.

It doesn’t sound like that’s likely to happen with you, though - by your account, you don’t even attempt to hook up more than a couple of times a year, and when you do, you never actually close the deal for a fuck. Following that pattern, it’s never going to happen, and here’s why:

Because to make it happen, you have to decide to take the risk. Even if you tell yourself you aren’t taking the risk because you’ll be forced, you’ll never be in a position to be forced unless you make a decision to do it, and that means a decision to take the risk. You can’t escape the responsibility for making that choice if you want the sex. It’s as simple as that.

[BannedWord]

8 hours ago, ErosWired said:

So, you’re saying that basically once or twice a year you work yourself up to actually messaging someone to hook up, and you tell him you want it bare, you then back out? What you’re saying is you just told him you wanted it when in fact you weren’t okay with it. But you’re also telling us that even though you’re not okay with making the decision to take the risk to have bareback sex yourself, you want someone else to force that risk on you because you really do want to take it bare.

😐

Dude wants to be forced, without consent. Bottom-line. He needs an aggressive top who will force him to close the deal. Or a used car salesman. But the truly fucked up part is that he actually wants consensual non-consent (CNC) and he should look that up and admit that. He needs someone to whom he can say "I don't care what you want, you'll have to be a man and take it from me without my consent and without the security of safe words."

But I can see the OP as pulling that on the wrong guy who doesn't take kindly to being jerked around by what he believes is another flake, and lashes out by hurting and beating him severely (or worse). Then? It probably isn't rape but aggravated battery. Or manslaughter? @rambo13645, you really want to think that one through, it's not going to be like a porn scene if it goes down badly.  Unless you'd like to be found somewhere left for dead...if you're lucky. @ErosWired generally has excellent insight to these things. 

[rambo13645]

jeeze the replies to this thread are intense.  I get it though.  some hard reality here i cant totally disagree with and i may have to step back from this fantasy.  I need to further clarify i dont waste guys time the way the last two posts suggest.  I have identified through interactions, maybe 5-10 total over the years, this consistency in myself so i just dont message people admitting what i want.  of the interactions i'm eluding to which are really rubbing people the wrong way most of them have been dead end roads while traveling and for scheduling reasons didnt work out.  cases like that i breathe a sign of relief.  then i get the guys who message me more recently to which my first reply is "sorry i'm not looking for guys".  this way i'm up front and if they do want to engage me in a fantasy chat at least ive been clear i'm not ready or willing to meet. 

of all the interactions mentioned maybe 5 times total i've led someone on.  i've identified this behavior i cant condone in myself and have changed my practice permanently.  even if i've had a few i've been successful in not messaging people and not leading them on.  

i guess my big takeaway at this point is, yeah, folks are right in that i should accept the risk, or accept it's not for me, and maybe abandon this fantasy.  Apologies for creating turmoil here.