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Want to start back up again but Im nervous


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15 hours ago, kitpig said:

Out of curiosity, how did your wife take the news of you becoming poz… and also her conversion?

She took better than I thought she would. We used condoms for a while after but she wanted to take the chance raw. 
My daughters were conceived while we bought were poz but neither were born poz. 

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I use Nurx to get my PREP.  It will not go on your medical record unless you want it to be - they are very good about keeping it private.  Being on PREP is the best way to protect yourself AND your wife from HIV infection.  You cannot pass HIV on to your wife if you are on PREP -its that simple.  

On another note, I understand your need to play with men and stay with your wife.  I've got too much invested in my marriage to back out now, but I'm also coming to terms with the fact that I am gay or bisexual at the very least and need male companionship and MM sex.  I have always hungered for cock and the feel and touch of a man.  It wasn't until recently that I finally gave in.  It has been the most liberating thing in my life to feel the warmth of a man in my arms after we've fucked.  To feel his beard and rub his stubble while we sit in the afterglow of a beautiful fuck session.  The feeling is pure joy and deep satisfaction.

Edited by boldfacealbie
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On 1/17/2023 at 11:01 PM, boldfacealbie said:

I have always hungered for cock and the feel and touch of a man.  It wasn't until recently that I finally gave in.  It has been the most liberating thing in my life to feel the warmth of a man in my arms after we've fucked.  To feel his beard and rub his stubble while we sit in the afterglow of a beautiful fuck session.  The feeling is pure joy and deep satisfaction.

As another married bisexual man I think this is very well put. Man/man  sex is simply better on every level than heterosexual sex.

And I fully agree with others above. Either carry on fucking the wife and take appropriate precautions (at the very least on demand Prep), or stop fucking her and enjoy uninhibited and risky sex with men. Or you could as has been suggested discuss it with her: if that works and she gives you the go ahead to fuck around with other guys then go for it! Particularly if you make it clear youre going to do it bareback and she doesn't demur: then you'd be amongst the luckiest guys on here.

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On 1/19/2023 at 9:22 AM, Satyr99 said:

As another married bisexual man I think this is very well put. Man/man  sex is simply better on every level than heterosexual sex.

And I fully agree with others above. Either carry on fucking the wife and take appropriate precautions (at the very least on demand Prep), or stop fucking her and enjoy uninhibited and risky sex with men. Or you could as has been suggested discuss it with her: if that works and she gives you the go ahead to fuck around with other guys then go for it! Particularly if you make it clear youre going to do it bareback and she doesn't demur: then you'd be amongst the luckiest guys on here.

The thing that keeps me coming back is this:  the raw lust and animalistic hunger for another man, his cock, his hole, his "maleness" put within the tender, loving context of "I love you - I feel you - I cherish you as a man while we are physically together".  To be intimate as a man with another one feels intimidating at first; do you really care for me or are you just going to chastise me?  Do you really know how I feel?  Do you care?  Until you realize that the other man feels love and lust in exactly the same way you do.  At that point, my mind is blown (pun intended) and I surrender to the experience of pure love, pleasure and lust.  I lose myself in the moment.  My mind shifts to intense feelings of love for the dude.  Like - I feel as one with him as we kiss deeply and I can feel his beard on my face.  

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On 1/10/2023 at 2:03 AM, kitpig said:

Out of curiosity, how did your wife take the news of you becoming poz… and also her conversion?

She took it much better than I thought. She knew I was poz (I told her I got it from female prostitutes) and kept fucking me. 
My wife is very anti gay and bi so if she knew I got from men things would be different. 

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On 1/20/2023 at 5:43 PM, boldfacealbie said:

The thing that keeps me coming back is this:  the raw lust and animalistic hunger for another man, his cock, his hole, his "maleness" put within the tender, loving context of "I love you - I feel you - I cherish you as a man while we are physically together".  To be intimate as a man with another one feels intimidating at first; do you really care for me or are you just going to chastise me?  Do you really know how I feel?  Do you care?  Until you realize that the other man feels love and lust in exactly the same way you do.  At that point, my mind is blown (pun intended) and I surrender to the experience of pure love, pleasure and lust.  I lose myself in the moment.  My mind shifts to intense feelings of love for the dude.  Like - I feel as one with him as we kiss deeply and I can feel his beard on my face.  

Agree absolutely, though I'd just add that, for me, an essential element is the raw hunger for my lover's sperm deep in my guts. I can't fully explain why I crave it so much, but it means eveything to me to know he's shared his essential fluid with me. Maybe I just want to be desired by other men, and inseminating me is the clearest sign that they do.

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7 hours ago, Satyr99 said:

Agree absolutely, though I'd just add that, for me, an essential element is the raw hunger for my lover's sperm deep in my guts. I can't fully explain why I crave it so much, but it means eveything to me to know he's shared his essential fluid with me. Maybe I just want to be desired by other men, and inseminating me is the clearest sign that they do.

It is indeed a true sign of love when a man fills another man with his milk (assuming here it is done consensually).  It may be fucking hot when it happens, but the lasting bond it creates between two men is truly a gift.  You literally have his babies inside you.

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I know how it feels too. I'm married for a second time but I haven't been in my wife's pussy for 5 years. The worst thing though is I've not had a man very often in that time either. I crave cock all the time but I know I've made my own he'll. I still feel loyalty to my wife and know I'm still being unfaithful whether I go with a man in a woman. I've been torn emotionally with mixed feelings so long.

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