Cock Size is Relative In the Sea

[ErosWired]

You’ve got a 9” cock? Don’t let it go to your head. That’s a micropenis in the sea.

The Blue Whale’s cock is 9 feet long. It would be kind of embarrassing to say “I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours.” Diameter is about a foot. A testicle weighs around 150 pounds/70kg, and an average cumshot is about 5 gallons. Just for comparison, the maximum volume of a human stomach and intestines is less than two gallons. (Forget getting fucked by a whale.)

The Giant Squid (Architeuthis dux) is also impressive, with a cock measuring around 7 feet long.

But the dude who takes the prize is the one who has a cock seven times the length of his whole body. If cock size is the ultimate measure of a man, then this guy is the Man Among Men…

…the barnacle.

Which, naturally. When you’re glued to a rock and all the cunt is also glued to a rock, the only way you’re getting any is if you have a r-e-a-l-l-y long cock.

[funpozbottom]

Considering the size of the Blue whale, it's penis isn't all that impressive. If a Blue can reach 100 feet, and has a penis optimized at 10 feet, and we shrunk him down to human proportions, his cock would be fairly average. On the other hand, if you want an ego boost you can always say (relatively speaking) that you cock is as big as a whale's.

The Giant Squid though, is more of a shower. At human proportions, he'd be sporting between 11 - 12 inches. With eight arms and a foot long cock, a human-sized squid is the one for you ... if you're turned on by "tentacle sex".

The winner in the size derby is definitely the barnacle with a penis 7 to 8 times it's body length. At human proportions, he'd have a cock over 40 feet long.  That would certainly be great for anonymous sex -- you wouldn't have to be in the same room -- or even the same house!

Personally, I don't think cock size is the most important thing. There are creatures that are far more erotic and kinkier in there mating. They're not in the ocean, but the hermaphroditic Leopard Slug comes to mind. Their penises can 2 or 3 times their body length and they get covered in slime as they twist and writhe and fuck each other.  That stuff is definitely worthy of an Only Fans Channel.

[ErosWired]

1 hour ago, funpozbottom said:

The winner in the size derby is definitely the barnacle with a penis 7 to 8 times it's body length. At human proportions, he'd have a cock over 40 feet long.  That would certainly be great for anonymous sex -- you wouldn't have to be in the same room -- or even the same house!

My new word for the type of guy who hits me up for a fuck on an app from an unreachable distance is ‘barnacle’.