Every been scared or freaked out by what happens to you?

[Piggyybttmm]

On 7/30/2023 at 12:45 AM, ErosWired said:

Let’s take a moment to look at what you’re telling us. You say that you feel scared, freaked out, that the situation you’re in is ‘too much’, and that you feel that what’s going on is to some degree dangerous. You characterize what is happening as something that is being done to you, a condition placed upon you - you say the Dominant is ‘making you’ do things and ‘throwing you’ down a rabbit hole. Yet you make it clear that you’re turned on by what is happening, and you think of it as a ‘permanent sub-space’ that you know you’re not going to walk away from.

Let’s be clear here - the Dom isn’t making you do anything that you aren’t consenting to do. None of this is nonconsensual, and any sense of you being forced is something you’re conjuring up in your own mind as a part of the sexual role that you are playing as a submissive. No Dominant can force you into subspace - that’s a state you enter on your own. So dispense with the idea that your situation is dangerous because it’s out of your control. It’s not. You can say no at any point.

That means the Dominant and his friends aren’t the ones making you uneasy. You’re making yourself uneasy because you’re internally conflicted - part of you wants to do these things, and does them, and you know perfectly well isn’t going to stop, even though another part of you isn’t on the same page, sees the potential dangers, and isn’t comfortable with it.

The way you talk about being put in your place suggests you may wrestle with matters of self-image that predispose you to submission even if in a particular instance the submission might feel unwise; that, too, can be a source of inner conflict, but again the cause is internal, not imposed from outside.

I would suggest that you reframe your question, for yourself, as ‘Do I get scared or freaked out by what I let happen to me, and if so, why do I let it happen?’

Perfectly stated. Acceptance is  the key here really. Accept what you like and what you’ve become 

[Teeslad70]

I'm always scared or freaked out, except for the actual moments I am getting cock.

[ffWhole]

I'm really kinky... I started slow but in years I have become more and more of a cum dump. Never been really scared. Anxious yes but that diminishes in time and becomes just hot and excitement.
And trust me I have been in some really crazy places and situations.

[StlBottom]

Couple of decades ago, began discussing our getting together, him being a Top, me being the sub, bottom, and had moved to the phone.  After a few minutes of our expectations he begins telling me how the last guy who came to his house pissed him off.  In gory details he describes using his doc martin's on him and other extreme abuse to put the guy in the hospital.  I mumbled something about getting back to him and hung up.  He made quite an impression on me.  It made me more cautious about hooking up, maybe too much sometimes.