My first completed experience as a top

[Flared]

I've had sex before as a bottom. I always wanted to top but I had some difficulties. I could not get hard or I could not penetrate. Even worse, when I did penetrate I didn't feel anything. Maybe it's my dick's problem? Or mine? Dunno

This time things were different. It was actually very unexpected. It was with someone that I know for a year. We are something between fellow-students in the university and friends. It wasn't planned. We just thought of having dinner together, we watched Netflix and then it was getting a bit late, I proposed him to sleep at my place. We started to talk about our school and about ourselves. I don't know how we started to kiss. We ended up fucking with me being the top. When I got inside him it was the first time that it felt nice. I still had some trouble to cum but I managed. However I felt I was moving in and out too fast to be able to cum. If I was not an athlete I'm not sure I could keep up fucking like this till I cum. Whatever.

We both liked it but we feel awkward no, does it make sense? He's a very cute guy. Since then we jerk each other and we kiss but I have a feeling of shyness. Why is that?

[BootmanLA]

You've raised multiple questions here.

As for why you were able to penetrate this time, when you couldn't before, that could be due to any number of factors. Maybe this partner inspired you more than others have. Maybe you were hornier this time than in the past, or it had been longer since you'd ejaculated, or maybe he was already used to taking it so it was easier to penetrate. Hard to say why without knowing more - it could be a mental thing or a physical thing.

As for being able to cum from fucking: it may be that you're unused to getting that kind of stimulation, and so your system isn't used to getting the "ejaculate now" signal from it. That's not an uncommon thing for guys who mostly masturbate to get off, especially if they use a really tight grip for masturbating. Your body becomes "trained" to expect a certain kind of stimulation, and fucking provides a different kind.

What sex therapists often suggest in such situations is refraining from masturbation for a period, or using a much lighter grip to do it when you do. If your body doesn't get the rougher, more intense stimulation it's used to, eventually it can become more sensitized to a lighter effort. Or by foregoing masturbation almost entirely and only getting off when you fuck, your body will learn this is what it needs to respond to.

As for the shyness: it's anybody's guess. You could be embarrassed about what you did. Talk it out with him. Communication is the key to resolving most issues between partners.

[Flared]

10 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

hat's not an uncommon thing for guys who mostly masturbate to get off, especially if they use a really tight grip for masturbating. Y

Wow never thought of that. Cause I'm a fan of jerking off and it always felt better than anything else (despite that I'm gay and I fantasize about gay sex, jerking off has felt better)

 

10 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

As for the shyness: it's anybody's guess. You could be embarrassed about what you did. Talk it out with him. Communication is the key to resolving most issues between partners.

I just don't know how to start. I fear that starting a conversation by saying I think we are very shy could be a bad start. That guy is "shielded" he won't open.