A ridiculous essay on the value of cocksucking as a hobby

[rock-cock-jock]

Without a doubt, I'm kind of a keener when it comes to sucking wiener. Here's a just for-fun, nonsensical composition on my enlightened insights into cock sucking:

All things considered, cultivating an addiction for sucking cock might not be the most socially acceptable hobby or recreational activity to opt for but if you look beyond the superficial label of a hush hush activity and assess the bare essential benefits it can provide, without a doubt, it certainly is comparatively the hobby with the most bang for your buck  all things considered, especially if you consider the idea of cum as a commodity of value, one such that you desire quite often in your day to day life and also a resource that you likely have limited access to generally speaking, especially with regards to from whom, how much of it u can want and when u can get it

You might not win any  impress points by boasting about your achievements furthering your hobby at thanksgiving dinner but beyond the superficial veneeer, it's probably the #1 most effective general purpose tool you have available to you at any particular time or place in your life with no cost and no consequences. Stressed about money? Go suck a cock. Stressed about exams? Go suck a cock. Stressed about relationship problems? Go suck a cock. Simple as that for feeling better about your day and more economical than a therapist or xanax.

Rather than that lame ol apple a day doctor whatever bs saying that somehow became a contemporary idiomatic fixture despite being a complete nonsensical load of garbo, a much much better alternative cock sucking version in my opinion  of 2 strategies for keeping in good health and good spirits would sound like:

"Fuck prescriptions and fuck rum. 
Truly, remedy that never fails when you're  glum, 
 Is to simply suck a nice cock and get some jizz in your tum.

And bested only really by,

 A cock that likes your bum,

Likes to keep you happy,

by keeping you well-bred and a daily supply of man cum"

There are numerous benefits immediately apparent upon body entry- foremost are that its a better legal high than any drug, itms cheaper than booze - usually free actually, is an enjoyable form of cardio and notably forms a high nutrient part of a well balanced diet that is completely organic, gluten-free and locally sourced. It's a crying shame that we haven't cultivated this incredible hobby for community involvement and skill improvement compared to other recreational activities or athletic pursuits dont you think?

Considering I've heard so many many tragic stories of a hetero sex shortage occurring across all demographics to such an extent that the development of blue balls  might as well be a nation-wide emergency and more of a pandemic health threat than covid bird flu and west nile combined. Thus, I like to think I'm being a true Canadian patriot and proactive friend of the environment by stalwartly being on the front lines for this issue, actively working to unburden as much as I can of the liquid pressure felt by the heavy balls burdening the pants seamsof the broad cohort of honest hard working Canadian men that have been unfairly disadvantaged by this crisis of an inadequate framework for seeing their manhoods well and regularly serviced. On an ecological level, stopgapping the flow of all that man cum must surely have dire consequences for  our health as a nation, especially if left unresolved. Without enabling some kind of strategic pathway for release on a macro level, whatever will become of all those frustrated Canuck testicles forced into involuntary celibacy? Will they shrivel up like raisins in the sun? Or are they destined to be stopgapped like a mountain river choked up by a beaver dam til it stagnates? No, that's unacceptable dont u think? I say fuck those fishy smelling beavers and their destabilizing games they play with Canadian hardwood - let the river flow dont u agree?

Thats why I work 110% as a cocksucker you see, it's for the good of the nation's ecological equilibrium and to safeguard the integrity of arguably our most valuable resource - the sperm of the Canadian male population, the biological root of our potential as a nation and being able to navigate natural selection as a sexual species in the generations to come via cum - all that profundity neatly and aesthetically packaged in 2 cute testicles swinging underneath every Canuck's legs and unfortunately also suffers the indignity of neglect and insufficient attention, like beautiful orchard apples forced to crowd and distort as they ripen because of the farmer's negligence.  A shame. 

Consider the comparable scenario of heavy rainfall overburdening our plumbing system as another comparable example for visualization whereby we find increasing stress on existing infrastructure due to an increasing fluid buildup because of inadequate exit flow strategies from standard plumbing. And yet, this scenario is resolved by the clever use of manholes for enabling a fluid flow exit path. Why not use the manhole equivalent to handle our blue ball problem then? Could an accessible solution for the nationwide blueball emergency simply be to have Canadian men to just direct their fluids down a 'manhole' equivalent? A promising prospect to meet this crisis in any case

So, you see, contrary to expectations, the role of the cocksucker is really and truly a vital part of the Canadian bedrock needed for thr healthy and sustainable functioning of our society. Supporting their service therefore can be understood as a good cause toward the betterment of Canadian society, similar to how we might support our troops via bumper stickers or buying a poppy flower or a colored ribbon etc. With that same mindset, consider supporting your local cocksucker and the voluntary service he does for the good of the nation as well. Similar to pinning on a poppy onto your lapel to show support for the armed forces, an appropriate way of showing your support would be by simply unzipping your pants, flopping your penis out and allowing him relieve pressure for your member and after you bust your nut, you can zip back up knowing you did a good patriotic deed today.  For greater involvement, consider how incorporating a manhole into your own day-to-day life might work for you in improving your quality of life as a reliable environmentally friendly option for alleviating horniness and preventing blue balls development. Contact your local cocksucker for more information on how to get started with using a manhole as a place to ejaculate in. 

After considering the benefits accrued from cocksucking on an individual's personal quality of life as well as the benefits afforded on a larger scale to the nation, has your view perhaps changed on choosing cocksucking as a worthy hobby/recreational activity? 
Overall, a nice horny stupidly ridiculous idea to mull over no?

Edited February 3 by rock-cock-jock