Social & professional impacts of topping & bottoming.

[londaybaaz]

I had always been in the monogamous relationship with my BF. I am vers but he is always top. He often has casual encounters too. Though he never disrespects me, but mostly dominates  in our non sexual everyday matters too. I have to submit to his decisions always.  Here on this forum, I have found that most bottoms enjoy domination and humiliation gy their partners, and many tops treat them in disrespectful manner.  

My question is, how does gaysex or gayrelationahip helps tops and harm bottoms in their professional career and social skills. 

[BootmanLA]

On 4/9/2024 at 5:01 AM, londaybaaz said:

I had always been in the monogamous relationship with my BF. I am vers but he is always top. He often has casual encounters too. Though he never disrespects me, but mostly dominates  in our non sexual everyday matters too. I have to submit to his decisions always.  Here on this forum, I have found that most bottoms enjoy domination and humiliation gy their partners, and many tops treat them in disrespectful manner.  

My question is, how does gaysex or gayrelationahip helps tops and harm bottoms in their professional career and social skills. 

That's one of those things that's going to vary from individual to individual, sometimes dramatically. There are couples where one partner is 100% dominant "in the bedroom" (metaphorically speaking - that might extend to any other place they play/have sex), but otherwise there's no dominance whatsoever. There are couples (much fewer in number, in my experience) where the submissive is submissive 24/7. And there are a bunch somewhere in the middle.

One variant I've seen from time to time is someone who's in a position of authority and/or power in his everyday life - bank president, CEO of this or that, law partner in a major firm, whatever - who craves letting all that go outside of work. I knew one such lawyer whose income was well into seven figures a year, who was totally dominated in the home setting by his partner, who worked landscaping (and not as management). It worked for them because the lawyer needed to "turn loose" and not be responsible for anything of substance at home, not even what the meal choices were (although he did most of the cooking), and the landscaper was naturally a leader who liked control but who had less opportunity in his work life to express that, especially since his firm tended to have very demanding and picky clients.

I would question your terminology: you say you're in a "monogamous relationship" but then you say he has casual encounters too. That's not a monogamous relationship; that's you being monogamous and him NOT being monogamous. Which is fine, if that's what you want. Just as it's fine that he makes all the decisions (or at least, when he does, he expects you to follow his lead), as long as YOU are happy with that arrangement.

I think it's a very good thing that your partner treats you with respect, though I would wonder how he'd react if you simply stood your ground and refused one of his decisions in "non sexual everyday matters." In other words, does he only respect you because you don't buck him in any way? Would he still treat you respectfully if you simply said "No" to something he decided, and you refused to back down? If he would, then great; if not, that's not respect, that's essentially hostage-taking.

As I noted, what works for couple A may not work for couple B. The submissive partner in A may not be affected by his in-home submission and may go on to have a thriving professional and social live, while the one in B may be incapable of advancing, career-wise, due to a lack of confidence.

Lastly: take a lot of what people post here about domination and humiliation with a grain of salt. A huge portion of what's posted here is pure fapping material, not in any way a reflection of someone's actual life.