gays as scapegoats of psychopaths and narcissists.

[justanotherslut]

i've seen a lot of guys here admit they had sexual experiences with older men while they were underage.  vastly underrage.  i'm one of them.  although very sad, immoral, wrong on every level, just like a lot of gays that post on here, I too had sexualised that horrific experience.  For others, whether they are sober, having chem-fuelled fun (trashed) alone or with other guys, it seems almost common that those young men that were abused as kids have not done anything about their abusers.  it really isn't cool that "grown-ups" would even dare think about that let alone make a move on a kid.  it's so messed up.  would any of you guys actually fuck a kid? 

i didnt think so.  

What I am noticing is that a lot of these abused young men, not only have they sexualised that experience - i imagine that its to get through it somehow or they've been taught to think it is 'cool' by their abusers so that they don't get convicted, but the other side of it is this... WHY did their abusers do that?  and the abused young men they end up taking drugs to cope and have this massive identity crisis and breakdown.  its by design!

it's very simple really,.  they have been SCAPEGOATED.  abusers sexualise them. make them look like messed up, hiv+ drug addicts that can only just about exist in the "hnh" "get to the poinT" MIASMA while their abusers get away with not only child abuse but whatever other dirty little secret they've deflected, through abuse, on to a young boy that has the sky as his limit, is probably a heterosexual, has a kind heart and soul and would, had it not been for the abuse, been a very decorated member of our world.  

is it not time we look at the ...drugged up, pozzed up side of the gay scene with this perspective?   As far as I can tell, this scapegoating and abuse of young gays is all but too common.  it is time for it to change and look at it in a different way.  nobody wants to be messed up.  nobody wants their abuse sexualised.  nobody chooses to be fucked up.  its so weird.  same with girls that want to be hookers and men that want to be rent boys or cam-sex-models.  there is so much more to life.  

for anyone to disagree wouldn't surprise me.  part of me knows as a total nobody, posting this isn't going to make much difference.  but before i went, i thought i would give it a try.  Abuse is disgusting.  young boys and girls are not attractive.  what is attractive to the abusers...is getting away with it and them having their audience (idiots that will believe anything) take their side and point the finger at a kid that they've been told by their abusers, is messed up so that they can get away with whatever else they are doing.  that's what they really want.  

[blackrobe]

A few things come to mind.

Firstly, I hope you are getting some self care and talking to a professional about what is provoking your feelings and reactions to other men's experiences here. 

I'm not clear on what you mean by "sexualizing" the experience since it's already sex. The much older partners sexually assaulted these boys under the law in most jurisdictions.

I'm guessing you mean either reliving and re-enacting the experience with similar male archetypes, or making an adaptation to their experience that allows them to cope and process what they experienced and how it has affected them. The former is concerning since it's an on-going cycle of retraumatization. The latter is where the survivor finds a way to integrate what happened to them into their lives in a way that is positive for them. That's how I'd characterize my experience after having been drugged and raped by a mid to late 40s man when I was a 12 year old. 

 

Being sexually, physically, or emotionally abused makes you many times more likely than the general population to have poor physical and mental health outcomes throughout your life. This kind of abuse is a problem for all of humanity, not just a gay community problem. I was raped by a straight identifying member of a religious order. Sadly, young gay and queer boys can be easy for predatory men to spot and take advantage of. Some of these young boys grow to become part of the gay community so that's where the aftermath of poor outcomes lands. I know many straight men who've had the same experience but who suffer in silence. Yes, it's a common tactic for abusers who are confronted with their abuse to attack the credibility of the survivor based on the terrible impact the abuse has had on them (addiction, homelessness, mental health challenges, etc.). All institutions where abuse happens end up in this pattern of attacking and discrediting them. 

There are lots of factors that give drinking and drug use the place it has in the gay community, the abuse we experience as children is just one of many.