Hesitantly going to the clubs...

[Citytrekman]

For fucks sake this is going to be really long. If you don't like reading a lot or get annoyed by lengthy ranting and inner dialogue or reflection this might not be the post to read. If you care more about load counts and stuff then skip to the Load Count and Stuff. I also tried to organize this in parts with bold and underlined text if that helps.

Whelp. Just a little bit of an introduction. I have been in a relationship for several years now. Unfortunately things didn't work out over the last few years and it ended recently. Somehow I was monogamous for a number of my years despite my youth being a notorious enjoyer of random sex encounters. It's been a while and since things were finalized with the ex I decided that I was tired of being horny at night. We had sex semi regularly once a week but a week but that was the past and this is the present. In a familiar but new city at the moment.

Things have kind of slowed down so instead of having to edge myself at night I decided to get a haircut and have a fresh start. Enjoyed looking around in a gay area at some shops and stores such as a leather store. A great way to sort of excite myself. After that nervously I headed over to the flex bath house. 

The Bathhouse 

I've been to this place..many..many times in the past years ago before the relationship. I was nervous but excited at the same time. For an afternoon it was actually relatively busy. I had fun walking around and the sort of glancing/cruising game that people played. But I played with a guy with a room door opened. Seemed like a cute bi guy. We had fun kinda groping each other but he stated that he prefers to bottom and although not regularly a top I don't generally turn that down when the chemistry is right. He was a great cocksucker too really enjoyed having my dick sucked. It's not something I always enjoy so maybe it was the vibe or place but I was loving it. He guided me to his hole and he was surprisingly a little tighter then I thought. I asked if he's been fucked today and he said by one or two guys. I enjoyed his tight hole but I was gentle with him initially. I used to kinda just rush to come but I was having fun fucking him. He got a little hesitant and said he doesn't take loads back there he prefers it on his face or body. I fucked his mouth a little more but just a little hesitation and still mixed feelings I didn't come. He said he needed a break so we split ways.

I saw some really hot bears there too. Some of them seemed like they were in a group and a few of them glanced or acknowledged but out of the cruising game so wasn't entirely sure. I found one of them later in a room jacking off. He was a really sexy bear daddy with a beautiful white beard and body. I looked at him jerking off and grabbed my cock underneath my towel and he invited me in. He was quick to suck my cock but I really enjoyed his masculine grip it suited his look and demeanor. I sucked his cock too and damn it was a nice cock and I could tell he was enjoying it. He didn't want to come yet so I fucked him some more. His ass was more loose then the bi like guy but it also felt wet and it was really turning me on and he wanted me to breed him. I was more then happy to breed him he was a sexy daddy and I was enjoying the moment and sort of putting the past behind me. He also had a nice patch of hair on his ass that was really sexy so it turned me on even more. I guess if I am doing the load count I used to do I gave one load so far lol.

After that I went to take a shower. I saw another bear who I saw earlier and could not quite tell if he was into me or not. I went over the dark room area and went in one of the stalls and he went into one next to me. I stuck my cock through and he started sucking it and damn he was good at it. He stuck his through and I started slowly sucking him. I wanted to try to remember things I did with my ex so I was trying hard to please him. He stopped me partially and asked if I wanted to go to his room and of course I agreed. He had a bigger room.

And pretty much immediately in his room he took control. He sort of guided me to the bed and explored my body. His lips and mouth pressed against my nipples and he passionately licked my body. He even licked my ears and face and we also kissed briefly. In short time I was sucking his cock again. He seemed to really straddle over me and forcing it down my throat. He was pretty big so I gagged a little bit. He changed the positions around and we were starting to 69. After I sucked him for a bit he changed the angles so I was licking and sucking his balls. He had nice hairy balls and then he angled it more so I was starting to lick his taint? I think. And then eventually he had me angled where my face was at the crack off his asshole. I haven't eaten ass in a very long time did not even do it with my ex. For some reason with this man I was willing to do pretty much anything I wanted. I shoved my nose, face, and tongue into his crack and rimmed him. I was hesitant at first but I was really enjoying it. The smell, the hair, and everything about him was driving me crazy. Next thing I knew he was rimming and fingering my hole. I was getting a little bit nervous but he had me suck his cock some more. He kept calling me a good boy as I was doing it so it encouraged me more. Before I knew it his cock was at my hole and I was on my back and then side. I was really nervous but I let it happen. I tried to open up but I was a little tight. He had a good girth to his cock so damn it felt good in me. It felt different then my ex in a good way. He kept pumping me with slow strokes all the while we locked eyes and he was exploring my body. I was moaning and really getting into it.

Then something happened. He asked if I liked getting fucked and said he was going to cum and if I want to get fucked. I told him yes I love it and he asked again if I want to get fucked and if I like to get fucked. I don't know why I said this but I said I like getting fucked and fucking. So we switched positions and I started fucking him. I just recently bred the silver daddy and the level of passion we had was giving me some kinda mixed worries. I ended up getting soft and he said thanks and that was basically it. Ugh I fucked it up somehow. It was really intense passion and I guess I just wasn't what he was looking for. That's fine though. I walked around a little bit more and I don't think I did anything with anyone else. I decided it's time to leave but I wasn't done. Part of me wonders if he did breed me he was satisfied if I would have been as well. 

 

The Bookstore

 

I decided to go to a popular bookstore next that I haven't been to in forever. I had no idea what the charge was but I had cash on me. The parking lot was very full so I was feeling good about this. I walked inside and saw the backroom and the charge and said that I want access. After paying I walked in the dark corridor of video booths with porn playing and guys walking around cruising. I was surprised that there were several hot guys when I came in. A few daddies and bears and I felt like I was in heaven. I walked casually but slow and then I saw him. Cute guy with a sort of mohawkish hair style and a goatee and a piercing. He looked directly at me when I walked by him. I happened to walk by a booth so we went in the booth together.

We stripped our shirts and he started sucking my nipples, kissing my neck, and body and then sucked my cock a little bit. I played with his nipples but I was a little hesitant. I was really attracted to him but I try to reserve some passion if I am not sure if the guy likes It. I decided to move up high and he moved his face so I decided not to kiss him and kissed his neck instead. He was moaning and then he kissed me. He was a very passionate kisser which I like. I love to kiss. When he stripped I was surprised and impressed by all the tattoos he had on him. The passion continued and then he turned me around and he started playing with my hole. He was sort of doing that when we were kissing anyways. I felt his hard cock at my hole and I got nervous. I didn't even suck it and we said no words but he pushed inside. I was tight still but I tried to loosen up. I heard him taking a hit of poppers and then he pushed in further. Fuck it hurt but it felt good. I was trying not to moan too load being in the video booth but I couldn't help it. His cock nice and thick and my hole was getting wetter. He started to fuck me faster and I couldn't help it I had to moan out some more. He shouted out and he bred my hole without a word. He did not fully pull out he fucked my hole some more and damn my hole felt full of cock and cum. I tried to open up as much as I could so he could drain his load and shove a few more pumps. Once he pulled out he smiled and said that I am a sexy boy. I said he's a sexy man and that it was incredible and I loved it. We kissed again while we were putting on our clothes. He told me he'll be around for a little bit and asked if I will. I said yeah so we parted ways. 

I decided to stay and cruised around a little more. I saw a little bit of a younger guy with a nice beard. He went into a booth and I went into the opposite one. He had a nice long cock with a bit of bush. I started slowly sucking him and heard him moan. I was trying to focus on sucking him and enjoy it more when he asked if I wanted to go into a booth together so we did. He left his shirt on and sat down and pulled out his cock. I got on my knees and sucked him. I was sucking a little too fast for him I think my ex liked it fast so that's why I'm familiar with. He had me start to take it deeper and took some poppers and gave me some. He had suck him deeper and he was a lot longer and bigger then my ex so I had a little trouble. I apologized a few times but he said it was fine and was enjoying it. He asked if I wanted his load and I said yes. I sucked him some more but he seemed to enjoy being sucked more then anything with no contact. He said he needed a break and wasn't ready to cum yet. We parted ways. I walked around some more and found a dark room area.

To my surprise the cute mohawk tatted guy was there. He passionately made out with me. There were some guys sucking and groping around us and we were making out. After a great make out session I started sucking his nipples and this time his cock which was hard. Damn it felt good sucking it knowing it was in me previously. While I was sucking him a guy behind me was grabbing my ass. He started fingering my ass. It seems like the guy I was sucking was encouraging the guy playing with my ass. He got up and I started sucking the other guy and he got behind me and started fucking me again. I never even pushed out his load in the bathroom because someone else was in there. Damn his cock in me felt good again. It was so fucking hot sucking some random guy in front of me too. He fucked me for a good while and I could see a crowd start to gather around us. He pulled out of me and put his cock in front of me. I immediately started sucking him and tasting his cock felt so good. The guy I was sucking got behind me and pushed his cock in my hole. Fuck I was getting spitroasted again. He felt good but I think he was getting nervous of the people around so he got soft I can't blame him I know it happens.

The mohawk guy who was fucking me and making out with me suggested we go back to the room. So much more passionate kissing when we were back in the room. He kept exploring my body and I explored his. I sucked on his nipples, licked his chest and neck and loved every moment of intimacy with that man. I enjoyed sucking his cock again and looking up at him while he was looking down at me. He pulled me up and turned me around and he fucked me again. He started to say that I'm a good boy and being a good boy for daddy. He said I was making him proud and it made me just try to open up my hole even more. It did not take long until I was moaning again in pleasure and he was shouting as he bred me again. Fuck. He didn't pull out immediately like last time and fuck he shot in me again. Holy shit this man had stamina.

Eventually he pulled out and I realized there were no more napkins. He said he'd go get some and be right back. He came back quickly and I wiped the cum off my ass and he wiped his cock. We embraced again and made out more while we were dressing. He said there's no need to rush getting dressed he wanted to enjoy it. He again said how sexy while we were getting dressed and I told him how sexy and hot he is and that I love his tattoos. He told me he's heading home now that he gave all he could give basically. I think saying he's at his limit and that he hopes to see me again. I told him i'll see him around. Such a hot fucking guy. He loved fucking my hole and making out and didn't seem to mind and got off when others were fucking me and even encouraged me to suck others. I almost wanted to ask for his number but being recently single I hesitated. Not sure if I regret it or not but I may or may not see him again. Time will tell.

After exiting the booth I went back to the dark room. It didn't seem too busy but I saw someone standing there with a bulge or a silhouette of them. I grabbed my own cock and they kept grabbing theirs. I gently groped the man's bulge and he took his cock out. Damn it was really thick. I stroked it some more and it got hard quickly and he encouraged me to get on my knees. I started sucking him and damn his cock was really thick I was trying to take all I could take and he started moaning. As he moaned more all of a sudden the lights came on. What the fuck. He said they might be cleaning and suggested we go to a room. We went to a booth but a different one then the one i've been in. Taking a glance at him damn he was a sexy man. Big beautiful full bushy black beard and he seemed pretty stocky. When we were in the booth he started feeling my body a bit. I took off my shirt and he took off his. I wanted to go for his nipples but wasn't sure what he was into. He surprised me and started groping me more aggressive. He grabbed my hands and put them behind my back. Oh fuck he was that kind of man. He licked and sucked on my nipples and kissed them and then he kissed me. He was a great kisser not as passionate as the other guy but I loved his dominant traits. He called me a good boy too and I simply responded "Thank you Sir". I called a few men tonight Sir I guess old instincts don't go away. He let me suck his nice thick cock again and damn it was thick I tried my best to swallow it so he gave me poppers. He didn't just give me poppers though. He took a huge hit and then opened his mouth and kissed me and exhaled the poppers into my mouth and throat. Holy fuck. This man was insane. I felt the poppers spinning around and I went back to sucking him having an easier time and he started playing with my hole. He kissed me more and then told "I want to fuck you but I don't fuck here". 

That kinda caught me by surprise. I sucked him more and he said he needs a break and isn't ready to come yet. But he told me when he is that I should be around and I'll take his load. I don't fully know what he meant by that unless he considers guys at book stores whores and wants to only fuck guys one on one at a non public place. Regardless I loved the aggression and dominance he displayed and the passion. I had fun. I walked around a little more and to no surprise didn't see him. I did see a booth open and someone on the other side. I looked in through the peep hole and I saw an older man a gray haired daddy with a bulge in his pants. He looked at me and he got up with his underwear on. I thought he was going to leave but he grabbed his bulge and pulled out a nice thick cock. He started stroking it and I eagerly got on my knees and opened my mouth. His cock looked a little wet at first I wondered if it was a condom but then realized it was probably lube or he fucked someone previously. He pulled me closer to the peephole and I took his cock all the way down my throat. Fuck he had a great rhythm fucking my throat and I was in rhythm feeling his hard cock go in and my lips tasting his cock. Before I knew it he was pumping a little harder and I tasted something salty and sweet. Was that cum? Hot damn he was cumming down my throat. I moaned in pleasure and pumped harder pumping all of his cum down my throat. I nursed his cock like a good boy even if he didn't say it. His cock got soft and he pulled out and smiled. He got up and left. 

While I was there earlier in between the mohawk guy and the other random daddy sucking and getting fucked by them there was another old guy in a red shirt he seemed like he was cruising me. I think he tried to whisper something earlier to me but he took off after. I saw him again and I invited him into a room and he came in. He took off my shirt and started sucking my dick. His mouth felt great and then he turned me around and started dry humping me. Very aggressive. He took out his cock and started fucking me. He tried to fuck me and it was feeling good but he got soft and fell out. It happened a few times and then he basically said thanks and we separated. Maybe he fucked someone previously who knows.

The random daddy who was fucking me and I was sucking his dick in between the mohawk guy came back around. I saw him and he looked cute older slightly chubby daddy with a cute goatee. We went into a room that was too small. He didn't seem to be into body contact too much so I just sucked him. He seemed to have a hard time getting hard but I could tell he enjoyed it and said he was. I pulled off and started stroking my cock. I read the situation wrong he didn't seem to bottom or be a cocksucker. I went back to sucking his cock and he got hard a few times and then he got soft again. I almost wanted to ask what he was into or wanting to do but the room was so small we barely could maneuver. We both agreed that the room was too small and thanked each other and separated. That was pretty much it. A few more guys were walking a round but they kept alternating between cleaning different areas I think it scared many off. I think I did see the mohawk guy again before the last random daddy I played with. I thought I saw him go into the dark room but it was someone else. I felt a little bad I couldn't tell if the mohawk goate wanted me to go with him. Honestly if he asked I would have whether that was a good idea or not. 

So after that I just drove home and showered and went on with the evening like normal until I decided to spend over an hour writing this travesty of a tale lol. I don't know why I called that one guy mohawk goatee it was more of a faux hawk but I don't care he was still sexy and I liked it. 

Afterthoughts

 

Alright time for some after thoughts of all this and I guess load counts. 

I found out after the break up that my ex went to public play places a few times but claimed he didn't do anything. But then more recently claimed he tried to do something with a guy but couldn't. Honestly if he had just told me I would have been fine with it but I always felt like he hid those sorts of things. I think he was afraid to tell me because he knew I'd either cheat or want an open relationship like I initially wanted but kept it closed for him. I almost didn't go the bath house tonight but thought we're broken up now and we had many years together good times and bad times. But we are both moving on with our lives and I was damn horny. I don't know if I have the cruising down 100% right now. The bath house felt a little more awkward and I was more nervous. The bookstore I seemed to understand it better and have more confidence. I kinda wish I didn't say I liked to fuck when that sexy bear daddy was fucking me. The locking of eyes and encouragement he gave me fuck. I wonder if he would have been satisfied if he just came in me he was about to. He was still walking around for cruising afterwards. The mohawk goatee guy ugh. I so strongly wanted to exchange numbers in my mind I was thinking he'd be fun as a regular fuck buddy. But maybe it's too soon? I wonder if some of these guys I played with today could see the hesitation or how I was holding back at first with contact. I wonder if they've been through this before too and if they knew. 

With the bearded daddy bear who was aggressive. I've had similar things happen years ago. Sometimes guys will judge you as a whore at a bookstore or bath house and have limited interaction with you because they don't want to be associated with a whore or maybe they feel guilty themselves. It is what it is. I don't know if I'll start going on apps again. God I remember in my 20s always being on gay apps and bareback ones and always looking for a hook up. I had a lot of fuck buddies years ago. I had some..less then a handful who I could have seen as wanting to date. Some maybe wanted to date me. But I was so busy moving from one app to one picture, to one profile to the next I wasn't able to see some good things that were in front of me. I could still potentially reach out to some or I could just forget about them and meet new guys. I really hope I don't fall into the old trap I fell into. It was miserable and that's partially why I met my ex and we were together for so long. 

But I have to admit some things to myself. I love sex. Am I addicted to sex? Perhaps. I don't jerk off to as much porn as I used to in my 20s. I do still like porn and jerk off to it but I don't feel the need to do it for hours like I used to. I have changed a lot since before and after the relationship I was in. I don't feel so much like I "Need" to be in the arms of a man and actually enjoy being alone and doing things on my own. The biggest issue in the past was I always looking for a Daddy or a Sir to be their boy. I've spent years and different relationships in different roles. I used to regret my promiscuous past. But thinking on it lately damn it was a lot of fun. It was lonely at times too but I don't regret any of it. I want to have sex more. I want to take more cock, I want to suck and fuck and get my dick sucked. Not sure I want it everyday. Not sure I want to take multiple loads daily or everytime I go out. It just sort of happened today lol. I was afraid that by going out I would turn back into that and maybe I will and it's just invetible anyways. I felt enjoyment from multiple guys at both places. I didn't feel unsatisfied or empty after both places even if a few encounters didn't end the way I wanted. I'm really nervous about getting back on hook up apps but I think with moderation it will be okay just as long as it's not obsessive like it used to be. Uncertain of bars. I used to have.ALOT of fun in them but I feel with bars comes reputation. It doesn't matter if you are pleasuring a guy or multiple guys if they see you doing acts like that you might be branded a whore or slut especially if you are a bottom. If you are part of a popular or reputation group of guys then that can probably be bypassed. Maybe just avoiding the bars for now is best.

I have also realized that i'm in my fucking 30s. Maybe I've gone through a bit of a mid crisis early on well it's definitely been crisis mode for a while anyways lol. I did not really realize how attractive I am because I never went to places with other gay guys when I was around my now ex he didn't allow it. It feels sort of good getting some validation from several guys tonight. I used to think that when I saw really attractive guys I was into in my youth maybe they were just using me as a pity fuck. Or maybe they could sense the low self confidence. Well time to start having more self confidence I can't believe I can say that I'm sexy and now I need to own it.

Load Counts and Stuff 

To whoever read all this why the fuck did you do that lol. Anyways I hope you enjoyed the sex parts anyways. I used to write about sex encounters all the time so I might be a bit rusty. And I used to love writing about load counts. So yeah lets see. Sexy White Gray Bearded Daddy 1 Load I bred him. Passionate Fun Mohawk goatee guy fuck that man bred me 4 times. And that business daddy man who I swallowed his load in the peep hole 1 load taken oral. So 1 load given/bred, 4 loads taken/got bred, and 1 load taken/swallowed. For someone who wasn't even sure or trying to take loads tonight or give not bad. I don't know if this is the last post I'll have here or if there will be many more. But if there are more the next ones won't be so damn lengthy. Sorry just had to get a lot off as well.

Edited June 25 by Citytrekman