[Defiant Barebacker] Some Details

[rawTOP]

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I have been asked by a few guys how I became HIV+. What I think is really behind this question is actually, "did I only fuck ass raw or did I get fucked raw to?"

While I have been fucked raw before, no doubt, the last time I took a cock and its load was over two years ago. I have tested neg. several times after that session so I am sure that I did not get infected at that point. In fact, my doctor believes that I was infected in a time frame that makes the visit to the Steamworks on October 1 a good candidate for that event.

While at the Steamworks that night I went around and fucked eight guys, all bareback, some of them more than once. I also got tons of head. I had taken a 20mg Cialis tablet earlier that night to ensure I could do what I aimed to do, get lots of ass over several hours!

I fucked guys through glory holes. I fucked guys that did ass to mouth and back. I fucked a guy in a sling. I fucked guys on a saw horse. I fucked guys that were laying on their faces in their rooms (never looking up to see who was using their holes). I just fucked... Of course, I totally wanted all of that and I think it was one of the hottest memorable play nights on the books. I DO NOT REGRET ANY OF IT.

Truth is though, in the three weeks leading up to that night I probably fucked another 10-12 guys, never using a condom. So, there are other possible venues for getting "pozed" as some say, but it came from me topping raw hole, not getting fucked.

It is true that a top has a much lower risk of getting HIV, but it is not zero. If a guy likes to bareback and he is a top, I say all the power to him! However, we cannot go down this path without recognizing that there is risk. You have to accept that risk, because anything less is lying to yourself. I had already taken the possibility in my head and understood where I could wind up, and here I am. It is not a bad place to be, really. It is NOT the end of my world and I will continue to fuck raw, and maybe even get fucked raw more frequently than in the past.

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