Hook up sites a joke?

[Inception]

Oh Im the master of being an asshole on those sites. But Im never one first. even the ugliest guys get a 'thanks' in return if they compliment me. I find it really ironic that the gay world is very tilted toward bottoms and versatiles (bottoms in disguise) and then they treat a goodlookin top with a nice dick like a used tampon.

I think most of the attitude one gets online is because the other guy has the insecurities and he's taking it out on someone else.

Agree about people's insecurities. I know my insecurites get in my way of getting laid, though I always try to be polite. I just almost never initiate online conversations.

Like your face pic... I would think that guy is out of my league. And your dick pic makes me think I would never be able to satisfy him, at least not anally.

I'd say the same about TonyRedux.

I don't understand how the gay world is tilted towards bottoms? Maybe on here with all the talk about anon and cumdump bottoms who get multiple tops servicing them? That to me comes across as a lot of fantasy. In the real world I see tops getting to choose from a plethora of bottoms, and most bottoms go without. In the real world I also come across way more guys who just want oral servicing, and have no interest in anal. This maybe leads to a lot of huffy bottoms who are all in a snit because they just want their asses stuffed and creamed. While it is nice to get fucked, it is definitely much more important to make sure that the tops penis is pleasured in the fashion he desires. Before getting fucked Monday at the tubs I played with a married guy who just wanted a handjob because of his concerns about not catching anything to take home. A few guys turned him down, but I was happy to do this. He had a very nice cock and he was very demanding about how it was worked. I have met him many times before, and who knows: one day when he's ready to do more maybe he'll remember the guy who loved giving him handjobs and eating his load from his hands.

[bearbandit]

versatiles (bottoms in disguise)

I really don't get this: I usually list myself as versatile - conversation or bar behaviour will decide who's top (usually me) - or versatile top - shit man, you're so hot, I'll leave a bar three paces behind you in front of everyone with each and every one of them knowing who's going to be getting it in the ass. Unless you're a closeted versatile, I see no reason for your dismissal of versatile guys doing precisely what you want them to do. (And for the record you can have my arse anytime.)

In the rural areas of the UK things move a little more slowly, maybe with a bit more conversation between initial contact and fucking. Maybe you're a victim of your own success?

[TonyRedux]

I really don't get this: I usually list myself as versatile - conversation or bar behaviour will decide who's top (usually me) - or versatile top - shit man, you're so hot, I'll leave a bar three paces behind you in front of everyone with each and every one of them knowing who's going to be getting it in the ass. Unless you're a closeted versatile, I see no reason for your dismissal of versatile guys doing precisely what you want them to do. (And for the record you can have my arse anytime.)

In the rural areas of the UK things move a little more slowly, maybe with a bit more conversation between initial contact and fucking. Maybe you're a victim of your own success?

he's just lashing out. to be fair tho: i have topped many "top only" guys, and have made grim sport of "total tops" who presumed to dominate me bcuz they know i sometimes bottom...a few r even marked for a hard rapefuck FROM me at some point. on the other hand, our community is rife with both internalized homophobia AND sexism, so one can expect that many will try to act more masculine than they intrinsically are. in general this means that many tops (like myself) r really versa tops, many versa tops r really versatile, many versatiles r really vers-bottoms, many versa-bottoms r really bottoms...and that "all-bottom" bottoms quite often have never actually topped n dont know if they could, or they tried to top under circumstances they didnt know were not ideal..such as topping drunk.

conversely, i've known a few "versabottoms" who make better tops than most "total tops"...and who top more often as well! i would include my boyish husband here. he's 4'11", 135 v-shaped pounds, was all-bottom when i met him, n with a shave n a haircut he looks like a buff 12-14yo. over our first few months together i noticed he has a huge collection of man-ass pix n vids, a total fetish for it, and had NEVER tried topping b4. so about 6 months into being with him, i watching him get worked up jerking to his ass-porn collection and then literally thru myself upon him, carried him to bed n put my ass in his face...all in less than 5 seconds, no time to get nervous. he took to it like a champ, n now he tops like a mini-me.

at first he would fuck my ass every few weeks, and we'd tag guys, but as he got into the habit of sometimes topping guys on his own he pulled away from my ass. he hasn't fucked me in almost 2 years, and also admits to not enjoying seeing me bottom. it all works out fine, as my bottoming urge is rare then ever, but i remain proud of putting him in touch with his domineering sexual aggression. he himself has made many tops look silly at sex parties...but his need to see me as "all-top" is a mirror of the anxieties i was talking about.

"thick" is being a wise marketer by exploiting that inner bigotry. A4A would be the site i see such sentiment expressed most often, n most stridently.

[Pig Bottom]

Oh Im the master of being an asshole on those sites. But Im never one first. even the ugliest guys get a 'thanks' in return if they compliment me. I find it really ironic that the gay world is very tilted toward bottoms and versatiles (bottoms in disguise) and then they treat a goodlookin top with a nice dick like a used tampon.

I think most of the attitude one gets online is because the other guy has the insecurities and he's taking it out on someone else.

I like repeat fucks. and I even sometimes get attitude when an idiot hits me up and I say " Im booked up until maybe next friday" If Im online, Im making dates to fuck in the future. You should actually realize that if Im that fuckin booked up then I might be worth the god damn wait....huh?

Maybe it's you, maybe you come off as not a nice person online. In the gay world the Top in king. A bottom can get fucked for hours where a top will cum or get bored and move on to the next ass, (I'm talking at baths or sex clubs) Most places have more bottoms than they know what to do with. It's also easier for 3 tops to take on one bottom than 3 bottoms wait for the 1 top.

and why are you surprised that you get attitude when you freely admit to doling so much out?

Edited February 23, 2012 by Pig Bottom

[Inception]

conversely, i've known a few "versabottoms" who make better tops than most "total tops"...and who top more often as well! i would include my boyish husband here. he's 4'11", 135 v-shaped pounds, was all-bottom when i met him, n with a shave n a haircut he looks like a buff 12-14yo. over our first few months together i noticed he has a huge collection of man-ass pix n vids, a total fetish for it, and had NEVER tried topping b4. so about 6 months into being with him, i watching him get worked up jerking to his ass-porn collection and then literally thru myself upon him, carried him to bed n put my ass in his face...all in less than 5 seconds, no time to get nervous. he took to it like a champ, n now he tops like a mini-me.

Snip

You are so dreamy.

I hate to admit it, but I also jerk off almost exclusively to pics of asses and holes. I also can be talked into topping now and then. I love rimming, and if a guy's ass is very loose and I am hard I often want to get inside it. I worry about infecting someone so always rubber up and then inevitably lose my hardon, which made me think "i guess I'm all bottom". This made me nervous about trying to fuck the bottoms ass up at the tubs who all looked so inviting. After reading this site for the last few weeks I finally realized that a lot of these guys are taking it bare even though they've got condoms laid out for show. I have now had a couple very nice experiences bare inside bottoms at the tubs. One beautiful guy who I have lusted at for a few years looked a bit pensive when I came into his room and petted his ass - he probably thought "what the hell is this big bottom doing in here?" But he smiled as soon as I slipped in bare. I soon had him moaning and hitting his poppers like crazy. Bottoming and sucking cock, I usually keep my dick hidden in my towel, so when guys finally get to see/feel me fully erect they are often surprised. I still prefer to get fucked but really respect and love bottoms with very loose, open and slutty holes as this is something I know I am not prepared emotionally to be.

[topblkmale]

Unfortunately, there is NO polite way to tell someone online that your simply not interested in what they're offering. Most gay men cannot handle rejection. Furthermore, most will want to receive a detailed explanation as to why they were rejected. i.e too fat, too short, small cock, bad hygiene, ass too flat, wrong race, too fem, etc.

There is no kind and polite way to convey that kind of information in an online setting.

Therefore, IGNORE, then DELETE MESSAGE is what most of us end up doing.

[bearbandit]

on the other hand, our community is rife with both internalized homophobia AND sexism, so one can expect that many will try to act more masculine than they intrinsically are.

Very true, and by the time you add in the guys who are bottom for fucking, but will switch for fisting, or who will gladly suck, but all arses are off limits, or who get more specialised and bottom in flogging, but not torture, want VA, but respect as soon as the scene is over, it's amazing how we manage with such crude descriptors as you list!

It's why I keep a few of my own stories that I send out to prospective fucks: I want to know which bits did it for them, which didn't, which character they thought was me and which bit didn't happen in real life. One, at least I know the guy can read ;-) and is capable of putting some thought into a reply, and two, I get an idea of what he's after. Don't ask me to post them here because I foolishly didn't retain copyright on them, but they can be found in Kyle Stone's "Hot Bauds 2" written by beartrap at a long disused address.

I tend to have quite old school views in that I won't try something on someone unless I've experienced it where possible (one guy I see I can get my finger into his piss-slit up to the second knuckle - I'm not trying that just yet). I moved into topping guys because I got sick of going home with a really hot-looking top (no sex in bars in those days), getting part way into it and suddenly standing up and saying "FFS, THIS is how you do it."

In the end I just found I was enjoying topping more than bottoming. But I've always kept in touch with my need to go bottom - the last time I did so (a few months ago) was fuckin' spectacular - on a par with the (pre-bb) time I made a guy suck me off, wank himself, and pull the titclamps off as he came - Japanese sail clamps: he nearly cried...

Quickies are are well and good for you guys in the cities, but when you're travelling the sort of (relative) distances we travel in the (rural) UK, you need at least to have an idea of what's waiting for you. One of those times when it's worth talking honestly beforehand...

[lovetobottom2000]

Many people join hookup sites as a venue to live out their fantasies, so I wouldn't be surprised if I occasionally see a few flakes around. The one thing that really gets me is when someone goes through the trouble to join your party and shows you how much he looks forward to it and never shows up and then after the party he emails you, not apologizing for the no show and then asks you how the party went. What nerves he has!

Yesterday we hosted a party and had it advertised in BBRT & A4A. Got 8 requests from BBRT & 3 from A4A. None showed up and two emailed back after the party asking how it went....da...Two from BBRT even requested an invite after the party. WTF??

[Pig Bottom]

most will want to receive a detailed explanation as to why they were rejected. i.e too fat, too short, small cock, bad hygiene, ass too flat, wrong race, too fem, etc.

.

You are insane, no one wants a detailed message as to why you weren't interested in them. No one wants to be insulted online, unless they are into being humiliated.

[Pig Bottom]

Many people join hookup sites as a venue to live out their fantasies, so I wouldn't be surprised if I occasionally see a few flakes around. The one thing that really gets me is when someone goes through the trouble to join your party and shows you how much he looks forward to it and never shows up and then after the party he emails you, not apologizing for the no show and then asks you how the party went. What nerves he has!

Yesterday we hosted a party and had it advertised in BBRT & A4A. Got 8 requests from BBRT & 3 from A4A. None showed up and two emailed back after the party asking how it went....da...Two from BBRT even requested an invite after the party. WTF??

A lot of flakes online. The younger or better looking they are the worst, in general. As far as someone asking how a party went that didn't go to, I would most likely respond with a "go fuck yourself"

I'm supposed to meet someone from another site just as friends at a bar tonight. If he doesn't show up I won't be rude, but I will let him know how rude he was to not let me know he wouldn't make it.

[lovetobottom2000]

I'm with you Pig Bottom. Don't care if one doesn't show up but a courtesy note telling me that he can't make it/changed mind etc. is sufficient. Why go through the trouble 30 minutes before the party starts asking to be invited and then not show up? If I join a party but am not 100% sure that I'll make it due to a possible work project going longer than expected, I'll at least inform the host that i might not be able to make it 100% when I sign up, then I'll confirm the same day of the party with the host whether I'll be there or not. That's the least I can do as the hosts take the time and effort to organize the party and respond to emails. That is a lot of work!

[TonyRedux]

You are so dreamy.

I hate to admit it, but I also jerk off almost exclusively to pics of asses and holes. I also can be talked into topping now and then. I love rimming, and if a guy's ass is very loose and I am hard I often want to get inside it. I worry about infecting someone so always rubber up and then inevitably lose my hardon, which made me think "i guess I'm all bottom". This made me nervous about trying to fuck the bottoms ass up at the tubs who all looked so inviting. After reading this site for the last few weeks I finally realized that a lot of these guys are taking it bare even though they've got condoms laid out for show. I have now had a couple very nice experiences bare inside bottoms at the tubs. One beautiful guy who I have lusted at for a few years looked a bit pensive when I came into his room and petted his ass - he probably thought "what the hell is this big bottom doing in here?" But he smiled as soon as I slipped in bare. I soon had him moaning and hitting his poppers like crazy. Bottoming and sucking cock, I usually keep my dick hidden in my towel, so when guys finally get to see/feel me fully erect they are often surprised. I still prefer to get fucked but really respect and love bottoms with very loose, open and slutty holes as this is something I know I am not prepared emotionally to be.

interesting...what do u think would resemble the state of emotional readiness u feel u need to be loose, open n slutty? thanks btw

Unfortunately, there is NO polite way to tell someone online that your simply not interested in what they're offering. Most gay men cannot handle rejection. Furthermore, most will want to receive a detailed explanation as to why they were rejected. i.e too fat, too short, small cock, bad hygiene, ass too flat, wrong race, too fem, etc.

There is no kind and polite way to convey that kind of information in an online setting.

Therefore, IGNORE, then DELETE MESSAGE is what most of us end up doing.

in my experience, many but not "most" ask for the "why" explanation. i tell most of them "there's no good reason to tell u, since u cant change it and it's best to find someone who wants what u got" and most who ask for my reasons r fine with that. once in awhile i'll get a handsome guy who i feel is too skinny for me (5'10" 150lbs would be a classic stat) and if he seems eager enuff i have no qualms at all telling him "sorry dude, i'm into thicker guys...holler if u ever thicken up at least 20 lbs...fat or muscle or both, i dont care." sometimes the guy will respond back with insults or sarcasm, which for me is simply their last gasp of squealing defeat. rare is the internet-warrior who will enter a flame war with me, i eat souls in that mood.

Very true, and by the time you add in the guys who are bottom for fucking, but will switch for fisting, or who will gladly suck, but all arses are off limits, or who get more specialised and bottom in flogging, but not torture, want VA, but respect as soon as the scene is over, it's amazing how we manage with such crude descriptors as you list!

It's why I keep a few of my own stories that I send out to prospective fucks: I want to know which bits did it for them, which didn't, which character they thought was me and which bit didn't happen in real life. One, at least I know the guy can read ;-) and is capable of putting some thought into a reply, and two, I get an idea of what he's after. Don't ask me to post them here because I foolishly didn't retain copyright on them, but they can be found in Kyle Stone's "Hot Bauds 2" written by beartrap at a long disused address.

I tend to have quite old school views in that I won't try something on someone unless I've experienced it where possible (one guy I see I can get my finger into his piss-slit up to the second knuckle - I'm not trying that just yet). I moved into topping guys because I got sick of going home with a really hot-looking top (no sex in bars in those days), getting part way into it and suddenly standing up and saying "FFS, THIS is how you do it."

In the end I just found I was enjoying topping more than bottoming. But I've always kept in touch with my need to go bottom - the last time I did so (a few months ago) was fuckin' spectacular - on a par with the (pre-bb) time I made a guy suck me off, wank himself, and pull the titclamps off as he came - Japanese sail clamps: he nearly cried...

Quickies are are well and good for you guys in the cities, but when you're travelling the sort of (relative) distances we travel in the (rural) UK, you need at least to have an idea of what's waiting for you. One of those times when it's worth talking honestly beforehand...

i agree that the further u have to travel, the greater ur investment in determining the bona fides of who ur traveling to. however i marvel that u can get people to read ur stories as a prelude to sex...frankly, most people wont read more than a short paragraph, if that.

You are insane, no one wants a detailed message as to why you weren't interested in them. No one wants to be insulted online, unless they are into being humiliated.

actually he's quite right n ur out of line. some indeed want a detailed message of such, and some want to argue about it. u can only speak for urself.

I'm with you Pig Bottom. Don't care if one doesn't show up but a courtesy note telling me that he can't make it/changed mind etc. is sufficient. Why go through the trouble 30 minutes before the party starts asking to be invited and then not show up? If I join a party but am not 100% sure that I'll make it due to a possible work project going longer than expected, I'll at least inform the host that i might not be able to make it 100% when I sign up, then I'll confirm the same day of the party with the host whether I'll be there or not. That's the least I can do as the hosts take the time and effort to organize the party and respond to emails. That is a lot of work!

this is why i do NOT plan sex more than 1-2 hours ahead, with extremely rare exceptions at my sole indulgence. i trust NO ONE to keep their word when it comes to pre-planned sex 6 hours or 2 days or 10 days away. the flake-out ratio is over 95%. worse, among the sub-population of guys who will offer extended elaborations about "oh i'm not like that, i HATE those people, i'm totally a man of my word!", the flake-out ratio is also well over 95%. also, when someone in that latter category flakes, they're more embarrassed AND defensive about it! NIGGGA PLEEZ!!

i am a far more mellow n less bitter person since i started that "right now ONLY" rule 5+ years ago. should have done it sooner.

Edited February 23, 2012 by TonyRedux

[Pig Bottom]

Some guys are assholes and don't have manners of common decency. Guy who condone or understand asshole behavior engage in it.

On a side note I just called the shop where I buy my poppers at. I asked him how late he was open until. He said 6 PM, I said thanks, and click. He's nice in person but his phone skills are atrocious.

[TonyRedux]

Some guys are assholes and don't have manners of common decency. Guy who condone or understand asshole behavior engage in it.

On a side note I just called the shop where I buy my poppers at. I asked him how late he was open until. He said 6 PM, I said thanks, and click. He's nice in person but his phone skills are atrocious.

i'll take being an asshole (or more usually, a DICK) over being an embittered passive-aggressive pussy any day, pussy. u got any more oblique Howard Stern references?

[Pig Bottom]

. u got any more oblique Howard Stern references?

I hate that old, boring, snobbish Jewish lady in a wig.