Administrators rawTOP Posted February 15, 2010 Administrators Report Posted February 15, 2010 Click here to see Defiant HIV+ Bareback Fucker's original blog post... On the face of it, someone that is not HIV+ might think defiance is a foolish response to having sero-convereted. Indeed, I have felt this myself a time or two over the past few weeks. But, here I am picking this back up exactly 29 days after my first post and 84 days after my likely exposure and I am left with one principal that I must live by, if I can call it that. I must seize from my most disinterested self my entire being and establish my own rules and conditions for existing in order to survive. This means nothing less than defiance. Some of my defiance will seem as foolish as one might think my actions were that got me here, but one thing has always been true and remains so now. I set my course and nobody else can. I make my own decisions, my own limits, my own rules. Rule one going forward - I will eat right, exercise, and generally take much better care of myself than I did before. In order to do this I have to actively pick up those things that will make this happen and do them instead of hoping that they will happen one day. The time for action is now... Rule two - The time for living is now. I have always wanted to go to Russia and it is time to do it. Anything else that comes up like this needs to be acted on, not just hoped for. While I have really lived my life this way already, this is now even more important than it ever was. "We only live once..." Rule three - No moping and feeling sorry for myself. Why should I consider this an acceptable behavior when it saps precious time and energy? No, I am not going there. Rule four - No HIV negative guys. I will only hook up with HIV+ guys, guys that are less than certain about their status, or those that claim to not care. In the last two conditions, in particular, I will always reveal my truth and let them decide for themselves what is right for them. In keeping with this thinking, if there is a guy or several guys offering their asses at a bathhouse or at a glory hole somewhere to any raw cock that cums along, I am taking that at face value and I may "seize" the opportunity to do what I do without further discussion. Rule five - Finally, no condoms will touch my dick ever again for any reason whatsoever. I know the new risks, just like I knew the risks before I was exposed. It is how I want it to be and that is it... This is not negotiable with even the hottest dude. Rule five is probably the most defiant of all, true, but with that I have set my own rules... Before someone gets all wound up about passing along HIV to others and how this is irresponsible, I take you back to rule four. Others make decisions for themselves just like I make my own. If two or more of us decide to fuck we each know the risks and off we go. Putting responsibility for passing HIV to others entirely on those of us that are HIV+ is the most foolish action one can imagine. It lets those that fuck without taking responsibility for their own actions say "I did not know and someone did this to me" when they seroconvert. This is not something I have done, because I took responsibility for my actions even before I became HIV+. My condition is my own making, not the fault of the guy that I got it from. While this might seem like I am setting myself down a course of sure destruction, one should consider a fact that has developed since October 1, 2009. Before that date I had fucked 68 guys in the calendar year. All of them bareback. Since that date I have fucked one guy bareback. So in the 40 weeks prior to that date I did about 1.5 guys raw per week. Since I have done one in 11 weeks. At this rate I might get through four guys in 2010. Maybe I will go on a fuck binge and make up for it, maybe I won't. Time will tell. So, I am defiant. I will set my rules. I will live my life. I will not let HIV decide my fate. Beat that! More...
Recommended Posts