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Smart Ass

A blog by ErosWired in General

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About this blog

ErosWired's smartass Blog on sexuality and HIV

I changed the name of this blog because... well, because apparently that's my actual name. People keep calling me that, anyway, and you know, it seems to fit me in more ways than one. So I'm going to keep writing about my news from the front lines of my fight against the Enemy, HIV, but I'm going to keep cracking wise, and if I end up sounded like I'm fixated on my ass, I'm sure some of you won't mind too much. You're welcome to become as fixated on my ass as you want. ;)

Entries in this blog

Sexual Identity

The Shirikodama

According to Japanese folklore, there is turtle-like water creature called a kappa (one of the yōkai) with a malevolent habit - it seeks to steal a human’s shirikodama. It was believed that humans carried within their bodies a small onion-shaped ball that contained their life-force or soul, which resided either just inside the anus or deeper in, called the shirikodama. The kappa greatly desire these objects (for reasons unclear) and the Japanese were warned to use caution in the water because a
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

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Sexual Identity

4,000

I just made my 4,000th post on this forum. If that were one post per day, it would equal almost eleven years’ worth of posts (I’ve only been here for six). By my reckoning, that still leaves me about 400 short of having the equivalent of one post for every day that I’ve been HIV+. By the time I reach 4,500 I’ll probably hit that equivalency. I wouldn’t have thought I had that much to say about sex. I never thought that sex played a significant role in defining me - I live alone, have n
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

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Life with AIDS

The Clock Strikes Nine

Nine is significant again for me this week - as I lie here in bed with my cat on my chest, I’m reminded that we lay in exactly this position nine years ago in the first days after my release from the hospital where AIDS tried to end me. I am now a nine-year AIDS survivor. To many in this age of ART and PrEP, that doesn’t mean much - AIDS is not a foregone conclusion from an HIV diagnosis anymore, and AIDS need not be a death sentence. It wasn’t mine. But it almost was. I was born
ErosWired

ErosWired in Life with AIDS

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Sexual Identity

3 1/2

Three and a half inches is the width of a credit card. Or the length of a microdick - a term that I despise. There is a Top in Indianapolis who fucking terrifies me because every time he encounters me at a bathhouse he reduces me to a quivering puddle of post-anal-orgasmic jelly using just such a cock. Attached to him, it is a fearsome weapon.  I encountered another one today as I was hosting in Nashville. In the last minutes before I had to close up shop to leave, a man contacted
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

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Sexual Identity

This Is How I Know

I’m home tonight, it’s Sunday - Superbowl Sunday in fact, which signifies nothing to me since I’ve never watched football in my life. The clock was closing on 8:00 pm, and I had just heated up a bowl of soup for a late supper. I planned to read the news online while I ate it, and then probably think about getting some rest, as I had been up late the night previous. Tonight seemed like a good night to just unwind. The cat agreed; she wanted me to go the fuck to bed so she could have the house to
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

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Sexual Identity

Nine

I drove home from Nashville Sunday morning - a 90-mile drive - having spent the last night taking cock in a hotel room. I still had nine loads inside me as the result of my night of service. I don’t know anyone in Nashville, but an acquaintance from Chicago I met at IML last May had had come down to visit family, so I made arrangements to come down and take a hotel room so he could fuck me again. He also offered to be my doorman as I hosted. It was a successful night of hosting, especi
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

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Sexual Identity

Three

I failed. The shame clings to me like a handful of Styrofoam peanuts after shuffling across a shag carpet. I failed the man who trained me, my duty, my determination, my identity. Three hours. The Top fucked me for three hours, interrupted only to tag-team with each of the other two Tops who came in while he worked. He had taken me before, the last time I was in Atlanta, back in 2021. Back then, he only fucked me for an hour and a half. But then he came back and did it again.
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

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HIV

Eight

The 14th of this month was my 8th anniversary. I am now an 8 Year AIDS Survivor. Eight years since I stopped being the person I used to be and started being this one. Because that’s what the Enemy Virus does, it climbs inside you and in every practical way becomes a part of you. Not just in the sense that there’s no way to get it out, but also in the way it becomes a part of your every waking moment - your habits, what you eat, the decisions you make, how you look at the world, and how the
ErosWired

ErosWired in HIV

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Karma

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished Redux

I hosted again in Louisville last night, having discovered serendipitously on my last visit to town that Sunday nights are apparently neither remembered as the Sabbath nor kept holy among the man-fuckers in Louisville. The trip was reasonably successful, with seven loads and six men serviced. Well - seven, sort of. He was the third to come along. He hit me up on Sniffies, and at first he said he wished he could fuck me but he had no car (cue sound of violins), so I cut the conversation
ErosWired

ErosWired in Karma

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Sexual Identity

VHS

Today I was doing a little spring cleaning, digging into nooks and crannies to root out the winter cobwebs. This is an old house my papaw built in 1936 and it’s impossible to keep it dusted, so I don’t get dust mice - I get dust mammoths. As I was clearing off a bookshelf to wipe away the skunge, I came across a VHS cassette - that’s a video tape, for all you young’uns. It had no label on it and I hadn’t the first idea what was on it, or remembered putting it there. It had to have been year
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

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Hosting

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished - Vol II

Against my better judgment I broke down and hosted again in Louisville tonight. It wasn’t entirely on my own accord - I had received a text earlier in the week from a man up here who had fucked me last fall and wanted to know when I would be back because he wanted my ass again. In case you haven’t followed my posts, it’s my firm and genuine, honestly-held belief that it is my duty to surrender my body to any man’s use at his request, so this amounted to a summons. I ended ip paying nearly $
ErosWired

ErosWired in Hosting

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Sexual Identity

Ten

I don’t know why so many of my entries seem to center around numbers - I’m not a numbers kind of guy. Nevertheless: Ten. I’m getting bred by another man in ten minutes from now, ten minutes from this moment. That’s enough time to put my whole life into a weird perspective that leads up to me being a hollow vessel for another man’s lust. Ten. Ten toes that splay and curl with his penetrations; when he forces me to an anal orgasm In missionary I can see my own big toes draw und
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

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Sexual Identity

Winter Wonder Land

How do you know when you’ve crossed the border into being over-occupied with thoughts about sex? Is it when you realize that you’ve posted almost 40 entries to a blog about bareback anal sex? That could be a hint, but in this case that’s not what’s got me wondering. Yesterday it snowed here. We got around 4-5 inches, which to some of y’all in winter-hardened places may count as a “skiff” of snow, but here it was enough to cause a 20-car pileup on the freeway, stall traffic for five solid ho
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

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Life with AIDS

Dead Man Walking

Today’s entry is brought to you by the Number 55. 55. Fifty-Five. Half-a-Benjamin-plus-five. Forty-five shy of a century - which is really what gets to the point. Today is my birthday, marking my 55th tour ‘round the Sun. Before any of you reflexively say ‘Happy birthday’, let me save you the trouble - I haven’t had one of those sine number 40, when I acquired a sense of Time, and I now positively dread them since 2014 when I nearly stopped having them. It’s not as simple as a con
ErosWired

ErosWired in Life with AIDS

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Sexual Identity

Grandmasster

Well. The site just notified me that Congratulations! You just increased your rank to Grandmaster!  I’m not quite sure how to take this. Grandmaster is a title applied to people at the pinnacle of ability in Chess. I suck at Chess. I mean, why wouldn’t I? I’m a complete submissive and play a completely defensive game strategy, which is a guaranteed loser. Don’t believe me? Try keeping a determined cock out of your ass without going on the offensive - you’re getting fucked. So there’s t
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

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Sexual Identity

Fuck By Numbers

For goodness’ sake. If you read the conversations on these boards, anyone would get the impression that the bareback world is teeming with men with massive endowments, and every bottom who posts his ‘true’ story encounters them regularly. When we watch porn, we apparently get confirmation of this, because there the cocks are, biiiigggger than life. So how does the average Top feel when he then unzips his pants and looks down and doesn’t find one of those? How does a bottom feel when he
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

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Hosting

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I hotel hosted last night. I hadn’t really planned to, but I was in my old hometown where I grew up, hadn’t been there in 25 years, was at loose ends in the evening, so, what the hell. Friday night, not a very big town, but bigger than a village, so you never know. I had been gone so long I wouldn’t know anyone local and have no plans to ever come back anyway, so why not do my anal duty? I got a hit - a young guy, he had nibbled the day before, but was biting now, and had a friend. Could th
ErosWired

ErosWired in Hosting

7
Sexual Identity

Dominant Duty

Elsewhere in the forum I was talking about men who place themselves in long-term chastity and surrender the key to a Dominant. The Dominant denies the submissive the ability to touch his own cock and have a penile orgasm at any time unless the Dominant expressly allows it—and that time sometimes never comes, depending on the arrangement and the intent. The Dominant may intend simply to demonstrate his continued control of the submissive by allowing the orgasm only after a show of reluctance or a
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

3
Sexual Identity

Numerology

Don’t get me wrong, I’m so not hung up on numbers. My last entry happened to be about the convergence of the number 2,000 with my sex life, but that’s just a coincidence. It’s also true that my post on the forum tend to betray a kind of fascination with things like how much cock, measured in miles, has rutted my cunt, or how many average loads it takes to fill a gallon milk jug full of cum - but that’s statistics, that’s science. Numbers for their own sake - not my fetish. In fact, I mostly
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

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Sexual Identity

2K

This blog entry marks my 2,000th posting on Breedingzone since I joined on this month in 2017. I would never have imagined I would have had that much to say on the subject of fucking, especially considering the kind of person I was in the beginning. That number 2,000 has a peculiar resonance around me just now - twelve days ago was the 20,000th day since I was born - I’ve been alive 2,000 to the tenth power days. I recently figured up that I had to have taken my 1,000th cock, so 2,000
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

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Life with AIDS

Lucky Seven

I just, this moment, realized that yesterday was the anniversary of the day I walked out of the hospital in 2014 to begin life with AIDS. I am now a 7-year AIDS survivor. There are flavors of irony in this moment all mixing together as I contemplate this conjunction of events. First and most immediate of these is that I’m currently lying naked on my bed with another man’s load of semen in my cunt, so fresh it hasn’t even had time to start leaking out. Ironic, on this day, that they call it
ErosWired

ErosWired in Life with AIDS

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Sexual Identity

Sexyhungry

I’ve had a lot of pretty extreme things done to me sexually in the last 17 years. I’ve been forced to orgasm so many times, one right after the other, that cumming became a form of torture, and then I was trained to cum on command. My first big gangbang, 32 men. I got mercilessly finger-fucked and toy-raped. Electro through my cock, balls and ass; deep, deep sounding; and electro-sounding. Jacked-off, experimented with and just plain fucked in front of both public and private audiences of up to
ErosWired

ErosWired in Sexual Identity

4

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall

I’m not a particularly vain person. This is possibly because I don’t usually notice other people’s appearance either. It doesn’t register to me as significant until I discover whether or not they have a brain isn’t instantly tiresome (so many are). If their appearance isn’t important, my head reasons, why would my own be? Except, of course, for the vast majority of humanity - a primarily visual and basically not at all telepathic species -appearances are huge. People judge books and pretty
ErosWired

ErosWired

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A Nuclear Option

I understand how the potential of having your sexual nature exposed to the world could be exciting when you're in a sexual frame of mind (read: horny). I understand the appeal of fantasies like being coerced into sexual compliance or performance by blackmail or other means. I understand the psychological nature of behavior like exhibitionism and submission. I can even understand getting to the point of desperation for someone to interact with that a man would place himself into a compromised pos
ErosWired

ErosWired

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Eros, god of corruption

When I was young I read lots of books. My parents let me read what I wanted, which was good, because I had zero interest in sports or any of the other things that usually make boys boys. (I wasn’t into the things that make girls girls, either, in case you’re wondering.) Star Wars had just premiered and in a few years I would discover Dungeons & Dragons and computers, but the books were always at the center. They were stories about heroes and heroines, protagonists who had to face u
ErosWired

ErosWired

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