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Who am I?

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About this blog

A journey of self-discovery, reflection, and creativity. Who Am I? is a blog where personal stories, life lessons, and musings on identity come to life. This space is for anyone curious about the twists and turns that shape who we are. Pull up a chair, dive into the words, and let’s figure it out together—one story at a time

Entries in this blog

On Mentorship

To the students that surpass us as teachers. I’ve been training Paul for a while now at work, and today, I realized something profound. He’s exceeded me in a few of the stations. There are ten stations in total in the factory. I’m a jack-of-all-trades in all of them, mastering one—just one—that I’ve been doing for the past seven years. Since Paul started, less than three months ago, I’ve been training him on almost all the stations, and now, more than half of them? He’s surpassed

Philip

Philip in Relationships

On Legacy

To the imprints that we leave behind.   I am at work, and I look around me, and work is running smoothly today—even with Paul’s absence. And I can’t help but ask myself, with Paul’s departure, how has the transition of the factory into normalcy been? And I can’t help but answer it— nothing has really changed.   I asked Jordan a similar question, and he echoed the same response to me, that everything is exactly the same as it was before Paul arrived and worked here.

Philip

Philip in Past

On Showing Up

To the time that slips between our fingers.    I realized something profound about myself recently. That’s probably not that shocking when I sit to think about it for a while.   I’m really bad with time management.   Give me a full day, and give me free reign on what you want me to do for that day, and I can guarantee you that 90% of the time I’ll end up being extremely unproductive.   Probably napping, probably watching porn, prob

Philip

Philip in productivity

On Speed Dating

To the deep conversations we never have.   I’m trying to get outside the house more— to meet new people, to make new connections, to expand my opportunities.   And one of the ways I’ve been doing this is by participating in events organised by gay groups on Meetup. One of the most recent ones I went to was a picnic at Carlton Gardens during the Easter Saturday long weekend.   I didn’t have much expectation when I got there. And I did have mi

On Coming Out Part 2

To my mother,   I came out to my mom today. It’s been a long time in the making now.   Maybe a decade? Perhaps a little longer than that.   I know that a lot of my friends have come out to their parents. It’s brave, it’s admirable, it’s courageous— and I always pictured myself one day doing the same.   But I never had the courage to do so.   I think part of it is the Asian culture, where my parent

On Compatibility

To colliding worlds.    I’ve been thinking a lot recently about mutual interests— and how they shape compatibility.   Looking back now at my most recent dating experience with James, I realized we actually didn’t have anything in common.   And yet, I was still willing to make it work.   I’m the kind of person who finds peace in silence, in stillness. Someone who writes, reads, plays games, goes on long, quiet walks and hi

On Gaming

For those who know me very well, you’d know that gaming has always been a major pillar in my life, now and forever. I still vividly recall a day in primary school when I came home, and my mother told me and my sister that my dad had gotten us a present. I had no idea what it could be, but when I saw the Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES) with him playing Super Mario World, I was amazed. I had a go, but it was super difficult, and I didn’t play it much at first—my dad seemed to enjoy it m

Philip

Philip in Gaming

On Money

I have this weird relationship with money. I guess everyone has some sort of relationship with money in their own unique way. My family and I grew up poor. We came here when I was four and my sister was five. My parents took on random jobs before eventually landing in sewing. I remember growing up, even though I went to a public school in the western suburbs, every year my sister and I would get nervous about how much they needed to pay for uniforms, books, and stationery. We often bought t

Philip

Philip in Money

On Mantras

I have a number of life mantras, pillars of life you might call them, that I try to live by. 1. You reap what you sow. This one is simple—you get out what you put in. I always try to do the very best I can, because I know that at the end of the day, your efforts are rewarded. And if they’re not for whatever reason, they will be later down the track. For those unwilling to put in the effort, life won’t hand them what they want. An example of this for me is going to the gym. Lately, I ha

Philip

Philip in Writing

On Focus

This year, my focus is on the mind, body, and spirit—three pillars that I believe make life whole. The body is physical strength. I go to the gym three times a week, maybe six if I’m motivated, for at least 30 minutes a session. I want to build muscle, look better, and feel more confident. The mind is intellect. I read, I write, I consume knowledge. With AI, I can turn books into audiobooks and listen anywhere, maximizing my time. I’ve also learned to let go of books that don’t interes

Philip

Philip in Writing

On Productivity

To the perfectionist, who I’ll never be. I am at the gym, on a stationary bike, doing one of my HIIT workouts—the ones where you go intense for a brief period, followed by a moment of respite. I’m feeling low on energy today. Maybe it’s from work, or maybe it’s the change in weather, but whatever it is, I decide to take it easy. I come up with a strategy, inspired by a YouTube channel whose name escapes me at the moment. In the video, the creator talks about the importance of having both a

Philip

Philip in productivity

On Connections

To the most unexpected hook-ups. Pipemakers. Moonless night. 9 pm. I am feeling rather horny tonight, so I clean, start my car, head down to Pipemakers. The car park is full, which is promising, and I make my way through the back entrance towards the glory hole shed. I cross eyes with this Asian man, handsome was his face, and I make a mental note to play with him if our paths cross. A quick lap reveals no one of particular interest, and I spot the Asian man standing there, waitin

Philip

Philip in Relationships

On Massage

To the pleasure of touch I am currently studying for a Certificate IV in massage therapy. The course is ten months, part-time, which I juggle alongside my full-time job as a machine operator for Michelin tyres. My primary goal in taking this course was to give my current and future partners great massages because no one can decline a free massage, the fastest way to a person’s heart is through physical touch, and I needed something new to fill my free time. For years, my

Philip

Philip in Relationships

On Directions Part 2

To familiar routes that shape our lives. Today is a class night, so I get in my car, pull up directions to the school.   I’ve driven there over a dozen times now, the route etched into my mind, but today, the maps show me something new.   A different way.   It promises to be faster, so I decide, why not, let’s try it.   It takes me down small streets, the kind lined with traffic lights, the kind that creep along at 4

Philip

Philip in productivity

On Simplicity

For those small words that get lost in the crowd. There’s this game I used to play called Poetry for the Neanderthal. It goes like this: You’re given a word. Using only single syllables, and working with a partner, you try to describe the clue until they guess it. It’s harder than it sounds, but like anything in life, practice makes the world go round, or something like that.   Let me give you an example: apple. It’s a fruit. Red. Makes crunch when bite.   Simp

Philip

Philip in Writing

On Massage Part 2

To lonely nights. I am at Pipemakers, feeling particularly horny tonight. The car park is full, which is always promising, and I spot a rather muscular guy in a white t-shirt and shorts, walking to his car. We make eye contact, he circles back to the shed, and I make my way there too. There's quite a lot of guys here tonight. I make a quick lap around, survey the area. My mind wanders to this time last week, to Sean and Phong, to their faces, their warmth, and a pang of longing hits me

Philip

Philip in Relationships

On the pursuit of Happiness

To mementos that we collect along the way. I am parked outside of Sean and Phong’s apartment. I was confident on the drive here, in my resolve, in my decision to come. But now, now I am nervous for some reason. A part of me wants to chicken out, to turn the key, to drive back home, to where it’s safe, to where it’s quiet. But I’ve been looking forward to seeing them all week, so I muster the strength, send Sean a text: I’m here. I think I am nervous because I don’t know how we’ll conne

Philip

Philip in Relationships

On the pursuit of Happiness Part 2

To chance encounters. I am at Sean and Phong’s apartment, sitting around the living table, each of us in our own chair. Small chats, questions, smiles, to get to know each other. There are half a dozen peace lilies on the floor next to the window, their leaves wavering with the wind from the balcony. On the table, a puddle of condensation is forming around the bottom of our mango smoothie cup.  The conversation turns towards massage now. Why I did it, what I wish to accomplish. Phong m

Philip

Philip in Relationships

On Loneliness Part 2

To the shadows that make the light shine more bright. I am in bed, restless. Someone walks into my room, without a knock, without a word, and lays beside me. He feels familiar, and I try to ignore him, but he won’t go away. Tonight, I am not alone. Tonight, loneliness is with me. I’ve been trying to outrun him for weeks now, filling my schedule with meet-ups, with chores, with noise. But that can only last so long. Sooner or later, in the quiet moments of the night, he will c

Philip

Philip in Relationships

On Best Moments

To the little things that make life special. I came across a line somewhere—perhaps in a movie, perhaps in a book—and it mentioned something about finding the best moments in something, perhaps in a movie, perhaps in a book. And I’ve been doing that ever since. The great thing about this is that the best moments are different for everyone. A single moment, a single scene, a single line—it can strike one person deeply, yet pass unnoticed by another. And that, I think, is the beauty

Philip

Philip in Writing

On Hugging

To those hugging muscles that need flexing at all times. It is Friday, and it is nighttime. I am sitting in the car with my best friend, Minh. We are talking about life, relationships, how, in a few months, he will be attending the wedding of a friend, how there is a chance that he will see his ex there. Her name is Akari—married, kids and all. I ask him how he will react, seeing her there, and he answers with indifference. Acknowledge her presence, but that is as far as he would go.

Philip

Philip in Relationships

On Dating

To new adventures. I’m ready to date again. It’s been three weeks since the breakup, and I know what you’re thinking—isn’t that too soon? And the answer, like most things in life, is it depends. I’ve spent the past few weeks doing what I do best—thinking, thinking. About past relationships, not just the last one, but all the ones before that. About the present, where I stand now, who I’m becoming. About the future, where I want to be. But this time, I have a secret weapon.

Philip

Philip in Relationships

On Destinations Part 3

To those who search the world all over, only to return home to find it. Recently, there’s been this guy at work that I’ve been crushing on—Paul. He’s 43, Vietnamese, about chin-height on me, and has one of those smiles that actually reaches his eyes. He’s an exceptionally good worker, and I often find myself feeling safe around him, like everything’s going to be alright. One time, when we were working together, our hands touched, just for a second, and I felt this tingle running throug

Philip

Philip in Relationships

On Dating Part 2

To boats worth rocking.  I’ve been thinking a lot about my dating profile lately. Paul and Jordan have been helping me with it too—half-joking, half-serious—but I think there’s some truth in what they’ve suggested, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll actually use it. We started with my roots. My parents are from the southern part of Vietnam, far from the city, near the border. My dad’s from Cà Mau, my mum’s from Bạc Liêu—and that, apparently, makes me a country boy. It’s funny, because I’ve ne

Philip

Philip in Relationships

On Constellations

To the stars that shine brightly at night. I have this image in my mind now—whenever I meet someone new, or even when I think about someone from my past. I picture myself, standing alone, looking up at the night sky, a sky full of stars. Each star? It’s a person. A moment. A memory. These stars—they represent the people I’ve met before, the relationships I’m holding onto now, and even those I haven’t met yet—the ones still waiting, out there, ready to fill the empty spac

Philip

Philip in Relationships

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